bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №22248
 08.11.2009
in the chat

Restart in 15 seconds
[ 1 ] General: Dalaran] [xxx]: Tla again ((
[ 1 ] Give the mail to the beast!
Reboot in 10 seconds
[ 1 ] ZZZZ: We have played. and. and.
[ 1 ] General: Dalaran [xxx]: play again in real
Reboot in 5 seconds
Reboot in 4 seconds
Restart in 3 seconds
[ 1 ] Those who are wicked,
Reboot in 2 seconds
[ 1 ] Total: Dalaran [nnn]: 4 8 15 16 23 42
Reboot in 108 minutes
[ 1 ] General: Dalaran [xxx]: O_O
[ 1 ] [Zzzz]: What is this for FIGNIA???? to

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №22247
 08.11.2009
Did you know that elephants are the only animals that can’t jump?
So go jump and feel your superiority over the elephant.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №22246
 08.11.2009
Go for beer.
Who is coming?
You and I!
The final what?

[ + 50 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22245
 08.11.2009
Laughter is laughing, and now the number of robbery robberies may increase.
Imagine a man in a respirator enters the store, gets a gun, takes money and (!) Mixed with the crowd.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №22244
 08.11.2009
Happiness is the only thing that multiplies when divided.
*** by
(The Girl Without Complex)

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №22243
 08.11.2009
Esoteric cryptoanalysis

[ the epigram ]
It is strictly forbidden to make any changes to network hardware configuration on Friday afternoon.


On the eve of the CUP celebrated someone's holiday (it is not excluded that even their own - the day of space troops), and the main character, let's call it.
Major, taking on the chest an officer-worthy dose, decided to strengthen information security. I changed the password. Fortunately, only one; for the rest of it was not enough, he fell asleep in front of the computer. The other day it turned out that the password was for access to the secret control key of one of the satellites, and that the new password the hero does not remember.

Also, Edak can’t remember the password. And the trick of the situation is that it is time to correct the orbit. The deadline is two days. After that, the satellite will be lost. For what all the CUPs are inherited by stars of astronomical scale.

Reported to local authorities. In principle, a satellite control backup key exists. It is stored in the famous "black suitcase" of the Chief of the General Staff. But it is far from him: three instances, three generals.
Everyone, of course, does not burn with the desire to get a hint for the captivity of the subordinates, so to overcome these instances in two days seems even less realistic than to get to the satellite on the sidewalks.

What you did not try to remember the password is useless. Even the code was broken. Where there! And time goes. One day before Dudley. And here I entered the CUP opera of the local UVD. From despair they attracted him to solve the task: “This is the worker! I forgot the password and do not want to remember it. Try to do something, you’re lying. We tried it, but it didn’t help.” As there was no other hope, the space troops took the help of the opera and gave him a card-blank. But in the souls of the tsupovs have already reconciled with the loss of the satellite and the upcoming starfall (from the drive).

Locked in the office with the unfortunate major, the opera began to work. When the staff of the CUP penetrated there in the morning, their eyes saw an epic canvas. Both – the space major and the police captain – lay under the table unconsciously surrounded by empty bottles. On the table was a pack of cigarettes, which was scratched the desired password. It was half an hour before the orbit was corrected.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №22242
 08.11.2009
In the courtyard at the entrance, the grandmothers are sitting on the bench.
Here, at the entrance, a rough jeep rolls, a new Russian comes out of it, sees the grandmother and begins to ride:
- What did you do, old wallets, at my entrance, in nature?
One grandmother answers:
What are you, my brother, about us? You do not respect old age.
I will complain to my granddaughter about you, he will not offend me.
What? what? What kind of granddaughter? A specific boy? So let’s get rid of it tomorrow, let’s do it. In short, grandmother, hand over your granddaughter, tomorrow at five in this place the gunman.
Okay, I will send you.
The next day, five jeeps and a brother come to the entrance, scattered around the courtyard, blocked the entrance, beats, machines, everything as required. A new Russian at the head of the brigade. The grandmothers are sitting on the same bench.
Grandma, where is your granddaughter?
Somewhere there. And who knows, I have a sniper.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №22241
 08.11.2009
and bor! I adore you! News, telephone do not look, there are all... but millions of good advice! Quotes that become part of life. You can continue indefinitely!
thank you!!! to

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №22240
 08.11.2009
The Friday. The working evening. From the correspondence:

XXX is
Fuck the printing shit!
The Comrade!! Friday has arrived!
YYYY
What a Friday! The boss is roaring!
And the press is nearby!

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №22239
 08.11.2009
How much do you earn?
I do not do nonsense!

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №22238
 08.11.2009
XX: you are still working on the boom company
AA: I do not know
XX: Who knows?
AA: I am
A: But it’s not me now.
Ask tomorrow
The mystery of nature is me but not me.
AA: Just tell me tomorrow so that I don’t leave a sealed aska on the public compass.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №22237
 08.11.2009
I was hysterical in the morning...I saw the haishnik rolling his tail!
I go to the stop and through the crossroads stands this miracle, hands behind my back and a bush hangs on them. And he so methodically crushes her. And I’m standing at a stop, and people can’t understand what... and in the profile it’s even more funny!! It stands, shit, and it flaps...the money predicts...

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №22236
 08.11.2009
The doctor said I had tracheitis
XXX: But I know I’m not tracheated.

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №22235
 07.11.2009
to this:

Sannych, Sleeping Sleep - there is some logic here. People, explain who is aware of which smoking, the manufacturers of shampoo against measles in large letters on the label write: "WITH OIL STRAUSE EMU"!!?? And on the other side - all the beneficial properties of this oil.
Well, where, where to fuck, where the body of the straws is produced this oil, and????? to
and...
It’s full of straws :)

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №22234
 07.11.2009
It is a pity that in the contact along with the buttons "Add to friends" and "Refuse request" there is no button "Send to fuck".
by Martina (c)

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №22233
 07.11.2009
You are sitting at the computer again.
You play like a small child in toys.
It would be better to build a house out of pillows!

[ + 146 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22232
 07.11.2009
In the subway car, she drowned with candy and coughed. The people looked inappropriately. I guess they see a pork flu carrier in me. She started laughing, quietly and compressed, and suddenly, fucking, whispered! I was not killed right there, I think, just for a sense of self-preservation.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №22231
 07.11.2009
rpex: the day of the flood)
Sliffka: The jump?
Rpex: I’m so crazy, I’m crazy. I look at the salary via SMS alert
rpex Supplement for the sum.. (bubble fraction).. 6 p 25 cop!
rpex: this message came the first.
Rpex: I think every time I get this salary.)
Rpex: Then everything else is sent with a delay of five minutes, probably I would have had time to commit suicide...

[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №22230
 07.11.2009
From the Medical Forum:

Hello, my husband and I had sex 2 days after the end of the menstrual period. But a few minutes later, his condom went off and it stayed in me for 3 days.
What is the probability of getting pregnant?and "

This is a gesture, comrades.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №22229
 07.11.2009
Today I went from the red to the red, so I am sitting in the car while he is in the department making documents and watching such a picture. A car stops right in front of the church (it is 10 meters from the post) under the sign of a pedestrian crossing and immediately a young haishnik ran in her direction. He did not have time to open this corshun of the mouth, as the father came out of the car with a phlegmatic face, with the same expression of the face crossed the mint, issued: "Do not take sin on the soul, my son." Mint in shock, Daddy in church.

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