K to:

And how long can you hold your teeth on a regular round bakery without biting or swallowing it, right?

XDDDDDDDDDDDD
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The Fucks!! I hate you!!! to

37 minutes and 21 seconds. It is fucking!! to

I go to the club.
Which club?
XH: the usual
Is it dancing?
Oh yeah, I’m saying the usual.
WOW: Just normal for me is a computer.

I go to the doctor. Uncle forty years.
He looked at me and whispered to the nurse:
Natasha, long live, thank you God.
She closes her mouth with a palm. Eyes for five copies.
and exactly? Is it really him? No any mistake?
He is
They both stand up in front of me humbly. And loudly with a single voice:
The Abyss of the Century!! to

They sit down and say half as if nothing has happened.
You have an abscess of the right age.

Isn’t it a cock?

When I was a tester, the head of the department was involved 2 weeks ago (at the time), half of the working time is now spent on him, instead of chips. The remaining half for "communicating with players in order to identify desires"

Sitting means playing in the wool. Here the general enters the cabinet and slowly passes by the shoulder of the boss (he did not notice it). And five minutes standing, watching how he plays in the WoW.
So the boss turned, raised his head up, and for three seconds looked at the general. He looks, looks and says to himself:
And I’m here, yeah, testing the quests system for our "mmorpg" project. Well, you know, we also have such a system, here I look like them, that would not be worse with us, here.
What Gender reasonably notices: something you've been testing for a long time, 25 lives already))

Are you a shark?
Not the keyboard!

The case was in the distant youth, when separation was a dream.
With a friend decided to race...through the modem)
The only downside is that he did not understand how to connect and generally how to create a network game. Well, I had to go to him and do everything myself: open the HyperTerminal, call, wait for a call, run a network game, set up the track, choose the character and the color of the motorcycle... I ran often, all the time something he didn't get that he wanted... well lived through the 2nd floor.
And then came the moment when everything was ready and it was necessary to press "Ready", then put some box and in n-second the game will start.
And he doesn’t catch her, the bastard is like that. I raise the phone, though there is noise and noise that there is strength:
Click on "Ready" and click on"!! to
I put a phone. Jumping out message: "John is out of the game."
It didn’t take a minute for me to break into the entrance. I open the entrance, and there my friend, Zhenya, with a shaken look says:
Archie, I could talk to you!! to

I attended a lecture on anatomy. I had to do a nephig, well, I went to a friend from the biofak, and he had anatomy, the first couple in the semester, a new undergraduate. And here comes a dry old lady, well, as it should be, greeting everyone, making a call, and then declares, "And now remember one thing - the largest member I have! "The whole audience, 150 people, dies in shock. And this, after an impressive pause, adds "In the museum!". It turned out that he had a member stored in the anatomical museum, not a mammoth, not someone else... well, in short, his grandfather clung.

Advertising of funds:
On the screen are two minors between the ages of 14 and 15. One complains about the other. The second gives out: "Try Clearance. 85% of readers of the magazine Glamour confirmed that it helps.
_________________________________________________________

I knew that the foundation of the Glamour readers are acne minors =)

Humor does not contain.
It contains a warning!
people who have read a quote about dietite colas, as a sperm-killing agent and a contraceptive: Don't think about trying!!!!!!!!!!! to
I am a urologist, my father is a gynecologist, we work in one place. There are often young people who have done so. This is how: boys have the beginning stage of skin cancer, girls also have the same + uterine cancer!
Although I get money from clients, it’s really a pity to look at young couples!
Do not think!! I repeat!! to

The cat, the one, the shredder, the Chuck Norris, the guy with the dollars...

From official correspondence:

Mikhail, your programmer has a status in asskoe - "Lyckaju junkcode". Can we expect the project to be successful?

Windows 7 refused to create a local network argumenting that I don’t need it =D

The longest journey begins with the words "I know the short road".

It is difficult to open an archive called pandora.rar.

In the female (!) Toilet at work advertisement "Lord, please wash behind you", below the note with the pen "Lord do not go here".... logically...
But it kills "Even as they go" already another pen a little lower :D

MZ - Where did you work?! to
Krk - Santa Service
mz - san cleaned up?)))

A friend gave her first story to read. Completely masterful dialogue in the first paragraph:
and Johnny! He was screaming.
and Hule? Johnny responded loudly.

The driver of the Toyota Camry in a new body, number r841hn, region 42, write down how you drive on 80 gasoline. When you poured 20 liters into the tank, we already realized that you’re not joking, but still, why burn it?

Can we go skiing in the mountains?
Maybe in the winter?

On one of the news sites hangs a survey

In the regions due to non-reimbursement plans to close theaters. What will you do in such a case?
I will sit at home in front of the TV.
I will go to theaters and concerts.
I will visit disco and nightclubs.
I will go visit.
I will walk a lot in nature.
I will register at the library
I will participate in self-activity.
I will finally go to bed sooner.

And where is the option - "Will I still download movies from torrent trackers"?

Comrade Aitishnikov and other people close to us!

Do not connect in any case to the tariff of the megaphone "unlimited 3G-internet" - it is here and provocation!

There "unlimited" only on 2gb, and then sit from 64kbit/s. I’m fucking offended, but I won’t offend you.