bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №16263
 05.05.2009
Girls photographing themselves with a camera on an extended arm. Turn off the flash and shave your cheeks!!! to

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №16262
 05.05.2009
So it turned out that my husband (not) is a foreigner and does not speak Russian:
We talk to him in English. He sometimes tries to learn Russian.
every time he overcomes the horror of his incomprehensibility. I try as much as I can to ease his fate and explain in a simple and accessible way that
and how, while inventively using other languages known to us
Great and mighty, indeed, and does not think to give up and build new and new.
by Cozni.
We have mastered the account: one, two, three, four... and so on. and
He decided to practice. It just turned into a convenient place: the store.
I took a box for half a dozen eggs and started filling it. He, seeing this,
He joyfully reports:
And one egg!
I corrected it gently:
One of them! (The average is already known)
He obediently repeats:
And one egg! And continues to cook:
And two eggs!
I say :
and two eggs. There are three and four eggs. It has succeeded. The Rule
Such a.
It is capable of absorbing and processing new information instantly.
He repeats clearly:
One egg, two eggs, three eggs, four eggs.
I see that I need to meet again, I immediately warn:
Five are eggs. Six are eggs.
Followed by a suffering breath of type "I
I believe that you do not believe".
The box is full! You can not count! He takes her,
He shows me and concludes:
This is an egg!
I am :
These are eggs...
And there are six of them!!! to

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №16261
 05.05.2009
Madchen (11:45:06 4/05/2009)
Fuck, I go to the subway, the stove is opened, a huge rottweiler flies out, begins to laugh on the whole street with an echo yet...

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №16260
 05.05.2009
Announcement for renting an apartment:

I rented a room without intermediaries. Living with me in a room (I am a single young guy, I work). Everything is clean, all the household equipment is there. and 8***. and Elena.
____________________
Lena is burning.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №16259
 05.05.2009
Zoe, we still remember you.
by Garda

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №16258
 05.05.2009
Anatomic: where my aunt came
KubaKoma: which one?
Anatomic: a call is needed to make a lot of melodies.
Anatomic: the pope says Zeball
Anatomic: learned to imitate the doorbell
Count: * rofl *
Coffee: * rofl * rofl *
Anatomy: Give it up
Anatomic: grief in people

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №16257
 05.05.2009
A real case of life. My mom works as an accountant in a car service, she just told me a story.
The Winter. A blonde comes on the ten to wash the car.Well, naturally, her washing machine she approaches the washer and asks:
Is there anything to put in the castles so that they don’t freeze?
When you go out with your pencil, knock and that is all.
After this phrase, she goes out of the washing machine, comes out of the car, knocks several times in the palms and leaves.
The washer barely had a heart attack from what he saw and the entire car service until the end of the day was rotting.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №16256
 05.05.2009
Working at WebMoney, a letter arrives:
Tell me, please, why is the ants in the status of the Cyprus Navy so sad? He put money in his wallet, but he is still sad. Tell me, after what amount will he have fun?"

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №16255
 05.05.2009
Yulechka: How will you get free go to the 2nd floor I can't figure out what to open and where is my aska?
OMG, I will come.
No picture is sent to the mail again!
The printer came back.
OMG, I’ll come back again.
Yulechka: I got on the screen and can’t do anything to remove it?
Admin is out? Is it how? It is weather.
I have a computer doing it myself!!!! to
Be calm, I am the ideal administrator.
Yes, I tell you no! You are at home and I have a coach!!! This is a virus!!! to
admin: omg, I say that I am removed
No, you come and see!! He does his job for me!!! to
*admin changed status to "Beats the head about UPS APC Smart 1000XL"
Shot me, I can’t do that anymore. *cry*
The Director-General: Julia, come to me. Declaration on own request.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! to
Admin: Anatoly Dmitrievich, thank you very much! Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes
by admin: Lord! And thank you! I knew I knew you were!!! Angel * Respect *

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №16254
 05.05.2009
In the metro there are small peak signs:
"40 doctors for 1.5 chats! Examination of the entire organism!"
Everything would be nothing, no unknown joke wrote to the flomastep: "VOENKOMAT"

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №16253
 05.05.2009
Sergey Ivanovich
Thanks to the Emergency Doctor! I have a term of 23 weeks, a very high fever, I had to call an ambulance, came in 15 minutes.
Aqua
Not every day you see the pregnant Sergey Ivanovich :)

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №16252
 05.05.2009
Do you want me to give you a gift?
Why Why?
Horses to burn, sheep!! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №16251
 05.05.2009
Whoever has something to say is quiet, whoever has nothing to say is broadly silent.
is published.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №16250
 05.05.2009
Talk about apartment theft. The monologue of one of the participants
I liked that I reproduced it.

No, men, the best rescue is a dog. Here you say –
Extraordinary security. Your security guard will be there.
Home to live? No is! The dog lives.

I was a boy when we took a rottweiler puppy.
The farmer told me not to think of raising anger in him! He is,
He is a guard of nature. My husband and I grew up together. Our whole family.
He knew, of course, but the master recognized only me. When I slept
As I went to sleep, he came into my room and spit at the door. And no one could
to enter. He immediately rattled his nose, showed the cries and whistled.
My mother fed him. He licked her hands. When she woke me up to school,
I could only go from the corridor.
Will your outdoors sleep on the floor at the entrance?
He loved fighting with other dogs. His eyes are under his forehead.
They hanged. I looked at the white. Or did not look at it at all.
I remember not knowing that dogs fighting for their back legs.
He broke up with his neighbor’s cabbage. I try them.
Get in between them. He got hot and grabbed me a couple of times.
In the hole, the little boy entered.

The Gypsies wanted to cleanse us.
My grandfather was in the garden, and I was in the house.
The dog slept somewhere in the shade behind the house.
The Gypsies are ugly.

They go crawling in the street. They see a grandfather in the garden forging in the house.
The windows and doors are quiet. Six men separated from the crowd, and
Go through the hole to our garden. My grandfather said shortly, “We’ll drink.” A is
Through the yard to the house. and fast. I saw them from my room.
When I heard it, I thought, “The dog is not tied.”
They are running away from the dog. A broken bed with a hand.
He holds on. They didn’t even fit in the cylinder. through the fence
They switched. The dog was able to catch two more. But he was calm.
I looked after them and left the house again.

I said he knew our whole family. In degree of affinity.
I understood. My aunt lived nearby and visited us often. He is her
We were allowed to go in and out, even if none of us were at home.
It was not allowed to take anything.
Here she brought a roast. She pulled it out of the cage, planted it, wanted to take it
In order to polish, he showed his teeth. Oh, it cannot mean. I wanted my
Damn, fuck the two! Nor can I! I gave, I gave, I gave
already our own.

I could walk him out of the yard.
He loved to come to the sandbox and watch the children play. lying
I looked around, looked, looked, and looked again.
Other dogs were driven away.
The kids were tired of their forms and cuddles, they played with him. Stolen him
Sand in the eyes and ears. I wondered why his eyes were red.
Grandmothers first feared him, were angry with me, then used to him.

It is good that he is here. Yesterday he wasn’t there, so wandering dogs in
The sandstone guessed. Send it here more often. Only myself
Approach at times. He doesn’t allow us children out of the sandbox.
to take.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №16249
 05.05.2009
and Paris. The Elysée Fields. A 6-liter mercer stops at the light.
607 and bicycle. The drivers saw each other, surprise immediately.
It was changed by turbulent joy. They parked. They stumbled on each other
and hugs:
Oh my God, how many years, how many winters...
And you remember Odessa, and you remember our courtyard.
Isera Pinchovich... This is a meeting! And in Paris!! No, yes
I can’t go away, I know there’s a nice restaurant.
We sit down and eat lunch. We will remember.
The driver of the bicycle turned:
Oh you know, it’s the Elysée Fields, I’m afraid of it.
The restaurant is not in my pocket.
“Semen, what a condition between us, you won’t eat.

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №16248
 05.05.2009
Always watched movies, downloading DVD-RIPs from torrents or from the network, now in some centuries watched a licensed DVD. It took me 10 minutes to watch the ads and other screenshots before the movie started – and it’s impossible to overwhelm that shit! I don't know what the creators of this DVD thought, but because of this I will never buy a license again, I will watch ONLY the rips. Not even because of money. due to the quality of the goods.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №16247
 05.05.2009
sending the electricity. The doors are already closed. Mechanic on Public Communications: “Dear passengers, please leave the train! Do not lick it, it is dirty.and "

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №16246
 05.05.2009
Status in contact:

The first day:
I vs Lenin – 0: 1

The second day:
I VS Lenin – 0:2... He says tomorrow I will surrender.

The Third Day:
I VS Lenin – 0:3...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №16245
 05.05.2009
O> I have a depression :(
I> it’s you’ve got avitaminosis
I> need to take vitamins E, D, A during meals
I> E,D,Y
I> I understand it!! to
I> I understood why you have depression:
I> you lack vitamin E :)
O> and how to get it :)
I> there are no legal means
I> but
Vitamin E is also produced by the body itself.
I> and specifically the brain
I> there is a special iron.
O> ?
I> happiness will stimulate you to release vitamin E :))
I> listen to the joke:

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №16244
 05.05.2009
[21:44:41] <@Nafanya> Question: in myth. khmer god, close to Vishnu ( 6 letters, 1 word )
[21:44:48] <&[U-2]> chickpeas

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