bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №15523
 31.03.2009
Bailey Radio
Coursework
The third course. Discipline of radio devices. The best Ivan
Ivanovich gives us his tested coursework on the same topic.
The aim of the course is to develop a scheme of the radio receiver under the dawn
The stipulated ones. The characteristics. The purpose of the distribution is to discuss merits and
the shortcomings of proposed schematic solutions, show errors in calculations,
If there were such.
Everything goes in its turn, in order.
– Well, and here is the last course work: “Development of the CM receiver...” and so on.
Chernov A. I. Where are you, Alexander Igorovich? He looked gently at
The class. The student stood up. Please tell me, Alexander Igorovich,
The price is the same – half a liter of vodka?
The whole group was tense. What is Ivan Ivanovich? Old age or
What is the Esopic language? Maybe heard?
Satisfied with the effect produced, the old teacher opened
Cursor on the booklet and quoted: “...and the L11 coil moves.
cotton threads with a diameter of 0.9 mm on a wooden frame
diameter of 4 mm. The heart of the coil is pressed out of asphalt pebbles.
Why so? Because no one will read this place.” After that
The whole class, of course, was covered with wild gooths. He lifted up his hand so that we
I.I. told, “When I was studying at the end of the 1950s, this
He was an educator, and since he was a teacher every year, he was a teacher.
I am looking for a few such quotes in courses. must be
Amateurs of free drinks, which high school students to dispute on a bottle
Vodka proposes to make adjustments to its work. not noticed
The teacher lapped a bottle to the student, noticed, apologized. When I was
The first teacher complained to the students, kept silent, but then
The fifth, I could say, I gave a bottle, I decided – enough.
None of the students shared.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №15522
 31.03.2009
Marketers in the impasse: in baseball in Russia no one plays, but the demand for
Baseball bits are growing and growing.
http://www.russianmontreal.ca/index.php?do=cat&category=kretinki

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №15521
 31.03.2009
Hi company xxx.
At the other end: Girl, I was locked in the toilet on the gasoline.
Operator: Please indicate the gas supply address.
At the other end: I sit closed on a push, in a sorting. Here is where I am!
Operator is OK. Where did you go and from where?
At the end: From home I was driving to MEU XX.
The operator, holds the client and begins to convulsively search for refuels along the route. Find three. He begins to call. On the third: *
Operator: Compare you calls from the company XXX. Can you tell me the toilet is closed?
Delivery : Yes is closed. You have to wait 15 minutes for the cleaning. The chlorine rubber will be carried, the pipe will be inserted and cleaned. Then come in.
Operator (in a hysterical voice): You have our client there. Stop the cleaning!! to

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №15520
 31.03.2009
When I wanted gasoline to cost less than a dollar – I didn’t mean that!! to

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №15519
 31.03.2009
The story of a biologist living in the darkness of the тверской region.
One day, I was brought with broken wings. She lived with us for six months, has already restored her feathers and one day... suddenly began to argue with the mat. And very strongly. We let her go, she fled into the forest. A year later, a known hunter comes to me and says, “I saw your hunter in the woods. I went through the woods last week...and I was placed with a mat from the tree 0_o Then a whole output of seeds arrived and all mated.
I think that at such a rate soon not only the Russian people will speak matte, but the birds too.

[ + 95 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №15518
 30.03.2009
The explanatory note.

I, XXXXXX YYYYYYY ZZZZZZZ, was late to work today at the Company because I usually watch the cartoon "Ninja Turtles" on TV-3 in the morning at exactly 7.45am to 8.05am and then I go to work, and I never get late. Today the damned television makers launched the above cartoon only at 8.05 p.m., and since in this series they were to reveal the origin of Kreng, I had to look at it to the end, in connection with which the delay and took place.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №15517
 30.03.2009
And when I was a child, I thought that “the same” was an inappropriate word of three letters written on the fence – Tsoi!

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №15516
 30.03.2009
Presedent: fucking... now put on the recording of the blocked disk... recording was carried out... 100%, but the disk why it doesn’t splash (((
Presedent: Nero hangs...and screaming sounds come from the disc drive!! to
Is the disc out? :D

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №15515
 30.03.2009
I wake up from a knock over my head. I shake one eye. I see – my boyfriend has already gathered to work and is now loudly mixing coffee in the cup, reading the news in the internet.
Yuri, go to the tower, read out loud.
- shakes, a second... *crats-crats* (the eyes are slowly rounded) blaaaa...
He crashes and runs into the corridor. The sound of a knocking door.
I get up and look at the page. there is:
"Are you sure that all your clocks...?"

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №15514
 30.03.2009
In the junior classes, boys beat beautiful girls with wallets on their heads, and then wonder why all beautiful girls are stupid.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №15513
 30.03.2009
XXX: It smells like shit.
xxx is sarcastic))
YYY: The first is also true.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №15512
 30.03.2009
Newton’s experience of falling an apple on his head. Instead of apples used salt cucumbers, instead of apples - the balcony on the fifth floor. It has been established that the thoughts expressed by passers after hitting the salt cucumbers on the head do not represent value for science.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №15511
 30.03.2009
I have an English friend, in Russian no. Once a familiar translator came to visit, well, as always, after a drink, he told her - Teach me a bad word. A couple of days later he comes after me, takes off from work, and on the street winter, end of January, well I, without a back-thinking - It`s f**king freezing!!! The answer is: You are a lady!!! You should say - PIZDETS MORRROZ!!! Half the way I was dying in spasms)))

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №15510
 30.03.2009
Fuck!I go on some 98 that went off the flight, that is, I drove the fucking home, I didn't even get the money. And we are not on the route, without passengers. What I will watch. If that, I was raped, murdered and buried by I.P. Kamalov E.F.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №15509
 30.03.2009
Today I finally realized that I was a loser.
WOW: What happened?
In short, I wake up in the morning.
Was it late?
Ugh, but it’s still half the trouble...
The cat in the shoes?
Also not scary, wait, do not interrupt.
Oh, so, I go to the bath, and I left the soap near the battery with hot water, it overnight dried and bored, everything was in cracks, the edges were sharp... In short, I cut my soap...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №15508
 30.03.2009
The physicist is fierce!! to
Kapla: What do you think Newton said when an apple fell on his head? The Nifiga! He said "Sh*t! F*cking apple!"

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №15507
 30.03.2009
Only in Russia can you determine if there is someone in the shower, by turning on the cold water in the kitchen and hearing the soul-breaking "Fuck in the mouth!!!" from the neighborhood room :)

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №15506
 30.03.2009
Tpukc (Greek translation of clock)
Tpukc: the situation is like this - went out at 1:50 came out at 3:10
I watched the clock like O_O.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №15505
 30.03.2009
My cat and I shared everything. He has his dish and I have my dishes. He has his own bed and I have my own bed. He eats whiskey and I chips. I watch TV and he is a washing machine)))

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №15504
 30.03.2009
Instructions for cycling:

At speeds above 999.9 km/h, the computer issues an error “E”.

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