If a joke is not funny, it is an aphorism.

The dog tears.

Yesterday, returning from a walk, we met a group of six people and three dogs: two men, two women, children of different ages, two young Labradors and a beautiful basset hound. Basset was good! Large, strong, brown-red-white colour, with long ears and smart eyes – just a look. We stopped to admire the basset and its masters on our Scottish terrier. During the conversation it became clear that they had two bassets, the sister of the beautiful man somewhere in the woods and is about to appear. Well, we talked and broke up, the sister of the basset never appeared although the owners called her on all the voices.

On the right side of the road, behind the bushes and trees, there was a river. A fast and cold river carried the water of the melting glaciers of Alaska into the Pacific Ocean. There was plenty of water and we watched for our Scottish man not to get near the river; there were crumbling and slippery shores unnoticed by the high grass. On the way back, the Scottish man did not rush very much anywhere, but flocked behind, shaking out of the heat, showing us with all his appearance that "you are in shorts at all, and I am in a shirt at all, and even after all my haircuts, I am still not naked."

My husband is a retired military doctor; he has a great sense of humor, but quite specific as military doctors have seen and experienced a lot. So I wasn’t surprised when he suddenly began to loudly and longly, imitating the loud basset. The Scots were not surprised either. We continued to go. My husband continued to cuddle and cuddle. I began to offer him variants of hoodies, hoodie designs and dog food that would best fit with beer. But suddenly, from the side of the river, a dog began to loudly and longly laugh.

Although it seemed to me that the dog was lying on the other shore, we stopped and my husband began to look at the grass along the road. If he found a path in the grass, he walked on it to the river, looking at the dog. At the same time, he continued to laugh and swing, the dog responded to him, she was very close. Our dog, tired of the hike and the heat, just quietly watched the show. I too. Suddenly the man shouted, “I found it! It is in the water!”

I had to run back to find the dog’s owner. Fortunately, they had already returned, suspecting something wrong. I shrugged her hand, pointing to the river. The men ran to meet me.

The bass sister crashed from a break of about two meters. She was holding her foreheads to the roots of the trees, but her body was already completely in the water. She stayed in the ice water for about thirty minutes and only the strong legs of the basset helped her not to crash into the water. The river revelled, stifling the dog’s squid, she had no chance to climb to the shore herself, she was virtually doomed.

The outbreak was steep and wet, it would be difficult to pull out the dog alone, even the three men were accompanied for quite a long time. I stood on the road helping women hold their remaining three dogs and children. All of this was used to help men.

The men finally appeared. Wrapped in clay, but happy. The owner carried his sister’s swimsuit in his arms. Both were wet, as it turned out later he also fell into the water. Molly's sister was bright red with white legs, white face, and light brown eyes. She trembled with great trembling. and. and. I was crying.

All the way back, the husband told in detail the operation to rescue the dog and how its owner crashed into the water and how difficult it was to hold him wet hands and how, seeing the helpless dog in the water, he again felt the fear of the doctor to lose the patient. And I all remembered the eyes of the dog and her tears – she was not abandoned, she was returned, she was saved.

Judging by television advertising, any cute girl on the street who goes and smiles: menstrual, drowsy, she endlessly pierces, removes her hair 24 hours a day and feeds her cavalier with Viagra. And only fat old grandmothers are healthy, like sailors before landing.

I was in the bus next to such a beautiful girl today.
Q: What about your personal life?

I watched a Chinese movie about schoolchildren. A movie, like a good one, about confronting and developing responsibility for your actions. It was only after we had seen about two-thirds of the movie that my mom began to clarify what was happening. I explain to her, here is the main character, here is his best friend, but here is the worst enemy, who is studying in the neighboring class. My mom’s response just dropped me under the table. "I thought it was all one person!"

A man comes in front of him, holds his phone near his ear and is silent. Gone by him, he is silent. Looking around, he holds the phone at his ear and is silent.
He talks to his wife, Sturridge guessed.

About the steam boilers:

Xenos WIGHT: Dick straight boilers have long been known to take the same Dobl boiler that stood on the car of his own name. It requires constant supervision of clever automation, while capricious, like a pregnant wife. And if a self-burning direct current boiler is placed on the boat under good pressure, the vibration will be very disturbing.
rbt06: Where does the vibration come from?
Xenos WIGHT: From the point of who sits next to you.

Evolution of neighbors:
The summer of 2013. The man decided to lock his balcony.
The summer of 2014. Toning glasses on this very balcony.
The summer of 2015. Docchi hanged the blinds.
The summer of 2016. Actually nothing happened. I decided that the man was calm and satisfied with his work.
Summer 2017 August 8th. The man went further and knocked down all the windows on the balcony with NACHER FANEROI.
I look forward to the summer of 2018 and the brick laying.

You can wash in the cold for two weeks. Gentle and damn, I found it. My wife and children have been taught.

I warm myself.

Post from 06.12.2014
I bought vitamins.
xxx: *name of vitamins* for men
XXX: The pharmacist advised
A pack of condoms, for the case.
xxx: I hope to go before 2018 or the money will be wasted)
Was it useful?? to

Why can't you fuck off the flesh?
So, fucking, for some time, it will swim nearby, and also, with a high probability, it will be melted along the boundary. And, here, if the flesh is barbed, then the shit will surely pull under the flesh, knock in the gaps between the bars, and it will smell the whole alloy. But, it’s still a jerk, in order to jerk off the flesh without a special device, you’ll have to ask someone to hold you by the hand, here... the hands get dull faster than the person is dull. And if you are tied to a rope or fixed in another way, then a motorcycle with babies will inevitably emerge from some canal and they will not delicately turn away, they will yell: "Hi shit!and :)

In my opinion, we then came to the view that it was most efficient to prepare paper bags and throw them into them, then throwing them either to the shore or to feed the fish. But in the second case, weighers may be needed, so that it does not float.

333: you can throw in other boats and boats when meeting. The journey will be even more exciting.

444: The Pursuit! :D

555: These will be whole water battles. Insulted by the fever will go to abortion - joke the jokers.

666: This is how the pirate wars began.

Heath in the village:
Siri, remind me to close the greenhouse at 7 a.m.

xxx: Why did they cease to regard perversions as perversions and began to regard them as what they are not? What gesture is that?
yyy: Normal changes in the categorization of phenomena due to a change in scientific paradigms. For the same reasons, obsession with demons was no longer regarded as obsession, eclipse of the sun as evil spirits, and homosexuality as a disease. Or did you mean something specific? And, you know, in some cultures to come to the shadow of man is still a terrible sacrament.

When trainees come from the universe and school, the hospital is noticeably revitalized. In the departments, repairs immediately begin, nurses tell about the nasty practitioners, in short, fun.

But the most fortunate of us, pathologists, is that students really want to see the opening, and I want to get them out of fainting.

The own history. and Tuesday. I sit down, knock on the phone, knock on the door. A student comes in and says:

- We would have it, well, it is, in general, like an opening - a younger colleague

There are no bodies yet. - I answer because in the last two days the sanitary judge had more work than I did.

The student shrugged his head, silenced for 10 seconds and gave a cool phrase:

Aaa, it is a pity! This is here, and when will it be?

I relentlessly take a piece of paper and, trying not to smile, answer:

Grishin from cardio is weak. Probably on Thursday.

The student thanked and left. I laughed and forgot.

On Thursday, I am on holiday, I have a quiet breakfast and here the manager calls me:

- Artem Vladimirovich, explain why I now have students and are demanding to open a living Grishina?

I laughed to tears, and the whole morge, as they say, lay.

I worked at the ACS, day shift, noon.



A gray man, 50, comes to us and says they want to talk to me and sharply throws his cell phone into my hands. She was overwhelmed, but decided to listen to what they said. On the wire was the director of our large retail chain, who ordered me to give all the cash from the box and the safe to this gray citizen, otherwise he will be fired. Okay, she quietly pressed the alarm button, continuing to listen to the threats. And I will be fired and will not be taken to normal work for the rest of my life. Strong psychological pressure. Within a minute the GBR squadron arrived, I outlined the situation, the GBR quickly caught a gray man who cried that he was just a taxi driver and didn't know what he needed. They went to the table to inquire, called the police. The police arrived, I wrote an explanatory painting of what happened. I was saved by the fact that "yesterday" we were all informed about the possibility of such calls, after two days ago a new operator gave 500 thousand. cash for fraudsters.

XXX: What are you laughing at?
Over your jokes
XXX: I am not joking.

Comments on Robot sex dolls:
“I don’t trust these robots, they’ll sweat more.

XXX: They are dumb. On the contrary, it is necessary to declare Russia the country with the most free internet in the world – in contrast to the US with the NSA and China with the firewall. This is a chance to pull the Russian Aichi to the first place in the world! “We don’t have software patents and cheap kilowatts/hour with the nuclear power plant! Russia is the country of the best data centers in the world!

The tor blocks are blocked.

An old joke about the new way:
“Well, citizen, we found you with Tor and Torrent – we will be tried for terrorism and piracy!
But I did not terrorize anyone and I did not break anything.
But there is a tool!
Then judge for rape!
Have you raped someone?
No, but there is a tool.

Russians are blatant
Rus: I was now stung by the air conditioner.
Russia: half a kilo of plastic on a light head
Is the plastic broken?
Russian: thank you
Mikhalic: in the fortress of the head of the average vendor I am sure
There is no Chinese plastic in the fortress.