Hi, I want to tell you a fairy story that caused my hysteria. I work at a construction site, the position I have is something like the head of the construction site, without a fierce stress resistance and a lot of humour ***** for a long time to last on it is not possible in principle.

History of:

by Gene Dir. Once he asked us to hang a camera to see who is coming and who is leaving. is done.

A couple of months have passed, he comes today and tells me that I need to view all the records and make a list for each employee with a time indication.

Naturally, I tell him that this work is at least for a week, the camera hangs at a distance of 20 meters from the entrance and it is not possible to find out each of the 46 people in principle (who is in the cap, who is in the cap, and beyond our employees at the building another 200 people)

Here he publishes:

Write a program to recognize faces.

Hysterics in the whole office, the explanation that over this problem are beating 10 if not hundreds of programmers did not help...

Imho, concluded: Everyone came and went on time.

xxx: I went with the children to watch the lunar eclipse - I saw, under the cover of the darkness, some man threw out a tree with the remains of myshura. and weak.
YYY: The good moment was chosen. I imagine his wife asking - what happened to him that he finally liked? And he said that there was an eclipse in the sky... his wife’s roof is silent at this moment.

You are the fucking daughter! and))
I’t have insisted on that in your place, Mom.

A: Ingolstadt
F: Tupsk
A: The Columns
F: Ainainenay
A: The shoe?
F: I thought after Ingolstadt we moved to fictional cities...

Like most of them, the relationship with the mother-in-law did not go well. All I do not do so, but the apogee was the phrase: “Ira!!! and IRA! Go here and I’ll teach you how to clean the toilet paper.” Laughter and sin.

My friend lives in Brisbane and complains that there is no place to swim. There are poisonous medusas in the ocean, sharks in the river, and crocodiles in the lakes. In the rest, everything is OK.

You will become a vaccine hater. I used to think that such doctors run for them, an-no. To make the complex in 3 months you need to first pass two analyses - blood, urine - for this first get the direction at the local (breast day - Wednesday). The urine is taken from 8 to 10. Blood according to the schedule of the procedural cabinet on preliminary recording. Then with the analyses (true week) to the district (December day still only Wednesday), which sends for vaccination, which is scheduled Monday, Tuesday, Thursday from 12 to 16.
Is it Kafka or Quest?

(the only male in the female group)

So, the murder was committed in the men’s toilet of our editorial office! Who could do it?
Permanent visitor to the men’s toilet. God, it could be anyone.

In his work today, he coined a new term - Traditional programming - programming with the help of codes passed between programmers by inheritance in oral form.

My acquaintance is a shy little boy, not very able to deal with girls. At the same time, he is quite loving, but his sympathy does not last more than a few subway races.



One Friday morning he was in the subway, waiting for an evening beer with series and saw her. She was riding on some of her business with a giant flower in a pot. The subway in the morning is not the best choice. The surrounders nervously fixed the leaves of the plant and cried loudly.



The acquaintance decided to act in a knightly manner, stumbled against the lady, barred the flower from the crowd with his mighty shoulders (OK, I will not lie to you, the usual shoulders of an ordinary programmer, but at the time they seemed heroic) and decided to meet on occasion.



Now is the time for our hero to go. Using the opportunity, he asked the lady for a phone.

Okay, I will record myself.



The nymph grabbed the smartphone, stumbled on the promising numbers and barely managed to pass back when the crowd took the young man onto the platform.



Shocked by his own courage, he looked at the phone only when he reached the office. The numbers were available, but with the inscription: "Tani's girlfriend's phone, I have a husband."



The girlfriend was not enough.

The late evening. The heat slept, a light wind. I stood, smoking on the balcony, on the fourth floor. There are five floors of neighbors. I hear, on the fifth, husband and wife quietly talk about something. Neighbors are familiar, 25 years of both.

You are Irene! My husband whispered, it was quick. No one will notice. Once and all!

And then suddenly? I noticed Irene.

What is “CHO”? He continued to hide on a bad husband.

Well, is it too little! Logically my husband objected.

and Nico! All the way! I put the line under the dispute of my husband.

Well, what can the young husband and wife whisper about on the balcony? A clear thing about the diversity of intima, by performing that on the balcony... well, a matter of life, was about to leave, as he heard a strange noise over himself. On top were poured ashes with sand, and another kind of feather resembles peel.

– Okay, let’s push... – his wife shrugged. I heard from her voice that she was very tense. From the top it shrugged, then... on a breathtaking flight past my window the door flew and, with the thunder of the end of the world, landed on the asphalt near the entrance.



As you guessed, these two intellectuals, in order not to drag through the five floors of the staircase the old door left after repair, decided to just throw it off the balcony.

I seriously, judge for yourself: people are flying in the sky, communicating at a distance through small boxes, exterminating the plague and all that. Why is no one serious about ageing?

Normal contraceptives cannot be used.

Call on mobile 07.08/2017:
XXX: How is it?
Yyy: Monday, full moon, I go from tax to the dentist.
XXX: I’ll call you again.

This is:

"... The box with the punctuation in the toilet dropped by Sorry."©
– is
The masterpiece!

We have created a consumer society.

The lesson.
When I was a child, I lived on the ninth floor. The so-called grey panel. Well, where the elevator squares on the roof. I loved to go out of the balcony for fun. And here, once again from the heart worried, I stand on the balcony, contemplating the beauty of the native microry. Suddenly, a huge drop passes down right in front of his face. The sky is clean. I am astonished by the drop of the eye, and something she begins to remind me of. The next shovel flies in front of the nose. Looking up, an elderly neighbor from the bottom floor stands on the roof. And calmly says, "Specially on the roof climbed, so that you can transmit all the delights of sensations when you are spit on top. Do you like?”
I must say that I stopped not only from the balcony, but also on the street. Thank you Ivanovich!

This is a strange fan. The film "Matilda" about the Tsar insults her, and the fact that on the Red Square on an honorable place lies the body of the man who ordered to shoot this Tsar with his whole family - her for some reason does not insult.

Technofil: A couple of days ago, I was called to one regime explosive-fire-hazardous state office, mixed with TV and terrorist attacks prevention... They worked with builders with a car lift, which stung in a state disassembled over the entire length, and with two other people in a cushion.
In general, I came with an assistant.And then the circus began.Almost two hours we were issued a pass on the car, despite the running prorab - the chief of the guys sitting in the wheelchair.Then we were looking for helmets, vests, insurance belts and even told the prorab to fence a ribbon around us and the car lifts. I was in principle fun in contrast to the pro-payment time and the time went at the time of arrival...
Then we finally walked, but strangely nobody checked what we had in the car - and there besides wires, spare parts, computers and tools a bunch of interesting things... Not counting the injury I had on the belt... How I started the lift - this is another story.But as I expected at the exit, nobody checked us.
And the most interesting thing - I asked the full-time employees of the facility, how much they are paid.I was just terrified for what coins they suffer every day this circus.
No, I understand, pay well and you can at least wear the clown’s noses to everyone as a means of defense.I sell a part of my life and you pay me.But to tolerate this for a penny, and yet without the possibility to leave earlier when it is necessary or to make a work iron for the home.

I have a wedding here. ?
WOW: How did it get you? :D
The old one has become =)))
Yes, I’m just drunk, I’m sitting, I’m talking, and here a girl comes in and throws me in the head with a beer.
I am in love, I am in love =)))

It has long been known that:

Is it possible to see from the behavior of the girl that she is clean? No certificate from the gynecologist.
ZZZ: It is not possible. Even the most apparent angel can be a mother gangbanger.

Every educated girl.
In a cute, shy shirt.
They may awaken someday.
Fake grandmother’s genes