bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142564
 28.06.2017
L is
I met a guy. The guy was morally dissolved, immediately offered to the mini-hotel to fuck.
I insulted him, in retaliation at night from p.t. to p.t. I walked him through the night town. Photographed the dawn, drowned on the water, trickled in the car. Everything as needed
What do you think? Now offers to meet a coffee drink, a walk, and about a mini-hotel - no go-go.
L is
I said to him, “Did you say anything about fucking?” Injured...
V is
Well, maybe he’s about coffee purely for revenge? Not to hurt you?
L is
I thought, the first time we would walk for decency, and then all that.
L is
In the meantime, it all went into being...
V is
You remember the fairy tale.
L is
Which one?
V is
That a girl goes with a guy to a movie theater cafe to find out if she should go to bed,
And the guy pulls the girl into bed to find out if it is worth driving her through cafes-theaters-cinemas, etc.
L is
I made him a girl...
L is
Forcibly and without drugs.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №142563
 28.06.2017
My boyfriend sits playing Mass Effect Andromeda – cleaning up some small base on the planet. Having broken the pieces of 15 evil aliens, he goes to search for any useful hole, stuck on this base or fell out of the enemies. Without finding anything at all, he pictured his eyes to the ceiling and cried:
Well, there is nothing. All these guys just died for nothing. Why is there so much cruelty in the world?! to

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №142562
 28.06.2017
Sly: and the name "tasteville" makes me happy every time. The taste of the villa is wooden, with a light metal shade. A bit sharp.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142561
 28.06.2017
<XXXX> "I will bring you to court. I fully comply with your requirements webki" - writes to us in response to polite refusal in the interview a lawyer from the city of Yekaterinburg. 44 years, the resume of which says: "convincing, benevolent". We were not looking for a lawyer, but a lawyer.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №142560
 28.06.2017
I bought a fast-cooked potato, and inside the packet was written, “And you know what... the vine explodes in the microwave.” Now I know it and I am afraid to buy this potato again, if there is little else written there, which I do not know...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №142559
 28.06.2017
The xxx:
No, I cannot understand that. If our programmers are so rude that they can’t touch the wash button in the toilet with their fingers, what kind of stuff have I never seen for them to wash their hands after they’ve washed?
YYYY :
I think they’re holding a servette :)
and ZZZ:
Because, all normal programmers when they go to the toilet to suck, do not suck on their hands!!! to
The xxx:
But they probably suck on the wash button. :D

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142558
 28.06.2017
xxx: I pierced my finger with shampoo, and in pork salt. I will die?
Yyyy: No, you will become a pig. Immediately in the salt.
XXX: Something hurts me.
YYY: It has begun to change!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №142557
 28.06.2017
<+Priya> electronic document circulation
<+spray> is when the paper has accumulated so much that it can only be sprinkled by an electrical drill

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142556
 28.06.2017
X: Hey, do you have old Soviet equipment unnecessary?
VAZ 2107 is coming.
No, not so unnecessary.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №142555
 28.06.2017
Title of the news "My Planet"
Europe on a small island. In Dublin there is a café “U Ashot”.
Coffee "The Ashot" is everywhere!)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №142554
 28.06.2017
I can only say one thing about this person - when he fell asleep behind the wheel, and the passenger in panic grabbed the steering wheel, then this pepper even turned on a barrel!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №142553
 28.06.2017
From the correspondence:
Give me a warming cold.
Light from the factory table. Are you not heating?
Butter, butter...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142552
 28.06.2017
Don’t be upset, the dishes beat to happiness.

It was a collage with a Siberian ulcer.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №142551
 28.06.2017
A child would never open the door to Baba Ege. If it were like Alenushka or the queen, it could still be.
Yyy: Baba Egge - thank you, to tears XD
Vvv: Baba EGE is worse than me
Zzz: My name is Alonushka. I’ll get my hair wrapped up and get stuck in other people’s apartments.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №142550
 27.06.2017
I am corresponding with the employee (C):
(C) - I download the text of the letter: "Dear Goddan! We are pleased to cooperate with your company! Working with you is a great gesture for us, but due to the changing market conditions we are forced to raise prices by 20%.
(I) - I think, in the original there was not JEST, but HONOR!
PS: The contractors agreed without negotiating.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142549
 27.06.2017
The apologists of the flat earth must be gathered together, landed onto the spacecraft and launched into space. and irreversible!
Cheaper to go from the outskirts.

[ + 22 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142548
 27.06.2017
<XXX> "I will bring you to court. I fully comply with your requirements webki" - writes to us in response to polite refusal in the interview a lawyer from the city of Yekaterinburg. 44 years, the resume of which says: "convincing, benevolent".

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142547
 27.06.2017
I sit by the open window and hear a loud child’s voice from the street:
and Serena! Go out, I took the ball!
I felt like I was back in my childhood, in the late 1980s. I remember how at that time we played football, ran on the buildings, made carbide squads.
But the evil cry of a neighbor from the neighbor’s window:
What are you nuts? There are no phones?
It quickly brought me back to my harsh reality.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142546
 27.06.2017
I watched the following picture this morning: a man came to Hover with his aunt in special clothes. They walked around the courtyard and wrapped large holes in squares and measured something there. After they left, a man in shoes came out and completed smaller holes. A brigade of workers.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142545
 27.06.2017
My friend managed to get behind the scenes of one transmission of the lottery.
I always thought that in the lotto everything is fair: they pull barrels and, at first glance, there is no deception – just the chances of winning are very small. But my friend heard one phrase she probably shouldn’t have heard:

Today we pull warm bottles.

I’m not going to say the name of this cowboy, but I assume they’re not the only ones working that way.

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