I sit with a friend and a friend in the kitchen. A girlfriend cuts meat, a friend gives a joke at her.
Girlfriend: “You don’t joke, I’m with a knife in my hands.”
I am "Okay, he’s a fool"
I understand what sounded ambiguous, and I add: "This is about a knife".
Judging by rust, until my second comment, no one noticed the ambiguity.
Half a year ago I was sent to take blood tests:
I go into the office, sit down, hang my sleeves.
The nurse prints out some illusion for blood sampling (it’s definitely not a syringe), looks at me with honest eyes and asks, “Will you take it yourself? “” I answer with slightly rounded eyes, “Yes, I can’t.”
It turned out that she meant the results of the analysis. They laughed. I suspect the hospital is now a new joke.
This morning, standing at the stop at the clinic, I saw this picture:
The grandmother comes and pulls her granddaughter on the trailer, and she struggles hard:
Grandma (B): Tanya, you need to go to the doctor to be healthy. He will prescribe pills, injections, we will cure you, and then we will go and buy the dress.
Girl(D): Well, maybe the dress first, and the injections then?
B is no.
D : Why?
B: The body does not need a dress.
If you think that you can choose your sexual orientation, you are bisexual.
X: And I fell in love with Czech Crumlovs. The city, there are no words. It is as if you are in the 18th century.
Prague did not impress me so much, but it was unrealistic!I was just covered in Venice
Y: San Marino perched me. Just up the wing there strange feelings of involvement with the past castle. True, then I read that the cough pills that were sold to me in an Italian pharmacy are used to get methamphetamine, so it might be them)
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I sit up.
Sakura has blossomed.
I am looking for work. I had another great interview today. I am looking for a job as an accountant. I am in the corresponding vacancy. They say to me, "Well, we need a manager (as it turned out later, a man-universal who is engaged in both purchasing and selling, and issuing documents, and issuing customs documents on import and export, and logistics and control of cargoes even), but when we wrote so in the announcement, some shell came to us, so we decided to write what a accountant needed. Fantastic to dish.
Everywhere, on every cage, there is a plaque with huge letters: “Don’t feed animals, your food can be poison for them!” and everywhere, well, in every cage, in every wolier, at least somebody let the beasts eat ice cream, chips, popcorn or cookies.
A long time ago, my mom told me about a zoo in Germany. That there for some not too dangerous and not too capricious animals their daily diet was divided into small portions, wrapped in bits and sold next to the squads. Imagine, the cattle can be fed without any bites of conscience purchased immediately and perfectly suitable for it with carrots, a bunch of seed or a handful of grain. And at the same time, feeding the animal is not just worth nothing for the zoo, it brings a profit! Plus the joy of visitors, plus the genuine interest of the animal in the people who stop at the fence. By the way, I would pay a couple of hundred for a servant with me to give a piece of meat to a leopard - on my behalf.)))
You have already fucked.
The Ghost of the Call
Everyone dreams of having an older or younger brother or sister - here views differ. I had an older brother. But it turned out that the difference between us and him was soft to say, a tiny 15 minutes. And because of such a small gap, there was no discourse between us as to whether this seniority plays a dominant role or not. Sometimes there was a fight.
Probably from the side it looked very nice - two six-year-old boys seriously share the palm of the primacy, bringing various arguments and arguments in their defense. But our father learned to use it for personal purposes.
In general, from childhood he instilled us love for the Armed Forces, so at the age of 6 I was perfectly aware of the titles and distinctive marks of the families of the troops, without thinking about distinguishing the pursuit of the praporchnik from the pursuit of the Lieutenant General. Using our struggle for primacy, the father wisely decided that seniority should be determined by the title, not "what kind of minutes". Our unfortunate heads were delighted with this offer.
The point is this: titles were given at the end of the week for certain merits, most often domestic. That is, you cleaned the potatoes, twisted the floor a couple of times to a crystal glow and rubbed the kitchen at least five times a week - wait for a guaranteed increase. But the father could appeal at any time and without warning. Within a week, your dizzying career as a senior lieutenant could have fallen to the level of a senior sergeant, or even to an euphrator. Everything had to start from the beginning. And believe me, it was worse than the father’s belt hanging on the pen of the door of his parents’ bedroom.
Accordingly, the palm of the primacy was transferred to the senior in the rank, he commanded a younger order. For disobedience and attempts of youth rebellion - the same complaint.
I don't remember how long such a scheme lasted, but my father was bad at the time, receiving praise from his mother for the perfect order in the house. And thus he taught us to order and general military discipline.
A: You are a major. Eat cookies out.
A: This is my wife of hell. Enjoy it, by the way. Only take into account are cookies "not breaking".
A: Does it not break?
Q: In the sense - "Don't break your teeth when you eat"
A tired woman came from work.
Do you want to cut the salad large or no difference?
by fixik_papus
As soon as you start doing something really, you immediately realize how little you think. A-la "I HZ which lubricant to spit here, better I call the mechanic"
by utgard_loky:
Which is the one and whisper, if there are different then whisper the one that is cheaper, if you do not know the price, whisper the one that is closer.
Prosecution of victims of crimes.
The adult, dead man is the ideal citizen.
Yyy: But after all, it provokes necrophilia and cannibalism.
XXX: Created adult man
I saw a poster on the cafe: from 9 to 11 discount on coffee and dessert 50%! I came and they worked on 11.
About the ancient Indian ritual game of ball and our team.
The fact is that in this game the victorious team was sacrificed. The Indians considered it an honour to die in this way and therefore played without any subsidies. I fear our team is the only one that has survived since then.
We smelled somewhat of a memorial.
Not dead though?
No canoes, quite alive and lively! You won’t find it everywhere if you only walk with yours.
and hm. And if the ecologists of St. Petersburg smelled eggs, then I am directly lost in guessing who the North American ecologists smelled? The scum?
The farce is for lazy men, the real men rub meat into a crumb with two knives.
by the topor. And with the bucket :)
No, I understand it all, on the pig/beef carcass a pig/cow is drawn, the type of which is made. On the dog/cat food is drawn a dog/cat type for whom it is made. On the sauce of Ankl Bens is painted a black uncle, the type of who made. But a fun pig in a cooking cap and with a huge eye! on the bench on the label of the branch - it is already beyond the boundary of good and evil. And my understanding...
In our country, as everyone knows, the owner or a majority shareholder necessarily appoints himself as a director, and necessarily a general, takes the largest office, the most sick secretary and the biggest hemorrhoids in the form of a bunch of affairs.
Because to delegate powers is dangerous (deceived), and somehow "not pathetically".
Oh well ok.
It happened to me to "scroll in the neighborhoods" and open a company. Not Gazprom at all, but the prospects are bright and for bread with oil and sometimes ivory is enough.
He took the position of type "creative director". by Nietzsche. Because I managed to work by hiring and the level of hemorrhoids was quite clear.
The Customer. by Sorrento. I am dissatisfied with the company in general and myself in particular. Stupid but stupid. I didn’t get a bit of it, idiot.
I promised to "report the situation to your CEO!".
Fuck, I broke my pattern.