bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №143324
 24.07.2017
Explain, please, to me, the fool, the idea of the Yarowa package: I will not understand how keeping all negotiations and correspondence of all people in general will help the fight against terrorism? After all, in the end, it will be just a rubbish dump, in which to find something will be unrealistic. And filtering by keywords is already well done without this package. I’m already silent about tons of really confidential information: who wants to pass their passwords and PINs, one way or another mentioned from time to time in storage conversations to phone companies? Are you confident in their integrity and reliability of storing your data?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143323
 24.07.2017
I decided to cut my hair, I approached the barber room and there next to the entrance to the periphery was a very pale guy and around him run three girls, two of whom are the same barbers.

As I found out later. The guy sat down to shave, as usual, under the "juice" grabbed a white strip, which is on the lipstick but looks too tight. Well, he sat down all the haircut and endured this most uncomfortable in the form of suffocating a white strip. After the finish of the haircut he was only able to get to the door, where he became ill and he lost consciousness.

So I think. It’s how embarrassing you have to be, not to say that you’re feeling some discomfort from everything that’s happening. They will die and be silent.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №143322
 24.07.2017
It is interesting how some Italian " funny quotes" from sites with memes are relevant to us.
Every time Emilio Fede claims he lacks €8,000 a month to live, somewhere a retired man dreams of buying a gun. But he can’t, because he only gets 500." (Francesco Jamblanco)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №143321
 24.07.2017
I also read Figo.
I would also be upset if my husband wrote our apartment for my mom. We’ve been together for 15 years, nine of them are married. While he was doing a career, I gave birth to a child and sat in a decree for two years. Then I was not taken to work with my diploma of a good universe because you will sit a lot with such a small child in the hospital. And his attention, with the diploma of agriculture, was taken without problems. So I went to work where I got, for 20 to an economist. She worked for two years, and he already has 40 k. He does not run to the hospitals once a month. My husband never blamed me. When I still arranged for the specialty, the SP did not give a big, because the special. No experience, and also delayed three months for payments. In general, we took the mortgage while living on my husband's ZP. But in order for him to make money, I provided him with conditions. So I consider myself a full-fledged partner and have the same rights on real estate.
And so I have a salary more than him for 2.5 years and again we do not count, everything in common.
It is necessary to take into account the intangible contribution of women to the general family life.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143320
 24.07.2017
Comments to the article on the attack of a drunkard on the driver in the courtyard with the robbery and attempted theft of a car:
1: Novosibirsk, remembers, won in the nomination "City where I want to live"
2: When you start beating three, you suddenly start to want to live very much, well, unable.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №143319
 24.07.2017
One day I took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №143318
 24.07.2017
A friend just told me.

Her daughter is 15 years old, all the problems associated with inadequate behavior in this gentle transitional age are present. She is very nervous and reacts to every comment. The doctor prescribed a sedative to the child to keep the nerves somehow in the frame. But the girl took the pills twice and refused to drink. I ask my friend, “What next?” “”

She replied, "My husband and I took these pills ourselves, it helped a lot! “”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143317
 24.07.2017
Simplicity: Never apply general rules to transcribing English names and surnames. What in the United States, what in Britain. Some are a country of displaced people from all over the world, in the second, the Normans will rush and waste all the peasants, then a drunk writer in the army of George the Third will make five mistakes in the name of "John" when recording.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №143316
 24.07.2017
We watched the movie with the girl, and at some point there was another character we had not seen before. Here she says:

It is a villain.

What did you take? Well, the wicked, what is the wicked?

And he is voiced by a guy who always voiced only the villains.

Logically...

He turned out to be a villain.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143315
 24.07.2017
But there is some irony of fate in the fact that in England torpedoes made Whitehead, and in Germany - Schwarzkopf...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143314
 24.07.2017
The unwavering law of the halva: "The halva attracts inadequates".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143313
 24.07.2017
I read on the overseas internet that “irresponsible millennials are killing the diamond mining industry.” Because, you understand, they are far from realizing the true symbolic value of diamond as an indicator of life achievements and the seriousness of relationships.

I’ve always said that today’s youth is morally beautiful.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №143312
 24.07.2017
Have you considered the planning and design of the system? No problem, just build System 2.0. If 2.0, then there are all the problems on their own - and that's all. After all, 2.0 is cooler than 1.0, this is obvious - compare the numbers, make sure.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №143311
 24.07.2017
Let’s applaud those people who in WIN 10 in the flash flash pop-up menu put the items "format" and "extract" next to you.
Well, I also applauded, but on another occasion (((

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №143310
 24.07.2017
Are you afraid of riding at night? Cracks on the asphalt are not visible.
not scary.
Why is?
Cracks on the asphalt are not visible.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143309
 24.07.2017
Synoptics have only two forecasts: “clear” and “not clear”.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143308
 24.07.2017
Never give money to the blind, deaf, dumb, etc. In the electric!
I am in principle not a greedy person and there is a bunch of desire for charity in me. But I never implement it in this way. There are charitable funds, targeted programs, and if you want to be on the street, then only at the church. Because it is extremely reluctant to help people in total degradation.
I will explain why. I go to my home usually in an electric car. And in addition to the sellers of every smoothie that no one needs (except,, lemonade and beer) one poor man walks. The high ambal 2x2 is ideal for working as a carrier or on construction. He works as a buffalo. Precisely not, even the seller of some plastic cube with the note "I am deaf, help the society of deaf protection buy a cube... for 150 rubles!!!". These hates also determine the price of how much I have to “pursue” them. Didn’t they hurt? Well, the flowers, the berries ahead.
One day, my friend and I went to the resort. A small town, standing on the same branch. And when I go into the store, I suddenly see this ambal (such tall, pumped people are rarely met, and the face of the face is well remembered) quite normally talking and buying a box of expensive whiskey, after which he takes it to himself in the car, by the way, also inexpensive and leaves somewhere...
And a week later, going to the country in the same electric car, I see him again with a cubic for 150 rubles. It was crazy, fool.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143307
 24.07.2017
As long as homosexuals say they’re ordinary people, I agree with them, as soon as they start screaming about it, they turn into pydoras.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №143306
 24.07.2017
The murmur:
I am a victim of advertising.
and Photoshop
As a child, I dreamed of growing up and shaving my legs like a aunt in advertising. And that my legs will be as perfectly straight and stretched as Barbie’s.
I have a shave :D

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №143305
 24.07.2017
Here you are all about trains, and what about the accident involving a ship and a truck, and by the fault of the ship? This is not the case in Russia.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna