The call:
Free consultation with an endocrinologist. Is your weight more than 80 kg? (with the enthusiasm
No, it is okay)
It is bad... (dark)
So well right?? to
No is! It is bad! (He throws the phone)

It is not necessary to swallow so as to sweat, but to harvest a good harvest.

Ethanol covers

In every profession there is an unattainable professional. Not everyone has met him, for many – it is only theoretically possible “horse in the vacuum”, but for that he is the benchmark.
But my friend Sergey was lucky, he saw the reference professional with his own eyes and even spoke to him. Let it be just a cleaning agent from the cleaning agency, but nevertheless.
And the thing was so – one beautiful morning, Seregina’s wife called the cleaner to put the whole apartment on her ears, to make a repair, to wash the windows, to grow forty pink bushes, to separate the oatmeal from the oatmeal, well, and so for the little things.

Sergey met with the reference Cinderella in the corridor. Nothing special, an ordinary woman under sixty. He said goodbye and went to work.

The evening came. The cleaner did all the things, even Sergey's selfless wife had nothing to do with it. How can I get a reference cleaner? But to be a benchmark, it is not enough to be a Cinderella.

When the woman had gathered, changed her clothes, and it was time to say goodbye, she said:

“Sorry, I can’t help but ask, and all these paintings your husband painted?
- Yes, here are these, these aquarels and the graphics in the kitchen, too. and what?
I like it very, very much. Just very much. You know, my nephew also paints well, not as your husband, of course, but he loves this business and tries. Sorry for the obscenity, and maybe my nephew will call your husband, consult what?
In principle, why not? Please record the number, let him call.

The next day Sergey got a phone call:

Hi Sir Serge. My name is Zoya, I cleaned your house yesterday, my wife gave you your phone.
Oh yeah yeah yeah. Do you want to ask something about your nephew?
And yes and no. I have no nephew, only a grandson.
(Sergy stressed) So what do you want?
"Sorry for this little trick, I just didn't want to get into someone else's family affairs. Rather, I did not want to, so I went to the trick. In short, yesterday, your wife and I moved the bed.

Sergey was overwhelmed, how could he forget, because to the back of the bed he screwed a small bag, in which was his ass - as much as a thousand and a half dollars. For the new big scapegoat, just a wife, by her nature, is not ready for such prices on bicycles.

The woman continued:

Money was made on the back of the bed. And after they were attached, I immediately realized that it was a man’s job. So, until I saw your wife, I unnoticed the bag and hid it in a large room under a picture of the sea and the ships.
So don’t worry, your secret remains only your secret. Good luck, Sergey, and I apologize for the worry.

I think that his new great Sergey simply has to be called “Zoya.”

Pensioner Maria Ivanovna, who was unable to call Putin, the governor presented a two-bedroom apartment.

Comments to the article on security systems based on the use of artificial intelligence and behavioral biometry.
That’s what happens – after a drink of cognac or a cup of coffee, the millisecond pattern between keyboard clicks will change slightly, and the computer will remove me from controlling myself?
What a terrible future! You wake up in the morning from the body, and the computer you, instead of dumb: brother, you look bad, access to your account is blocked.
There will be no bodyguard, because the day before in the bar: all the boys, still a drink and left. I don't want to sleep in the entrance anymore, or the smart house installed - he doesn't let me go into the apartment.

aaa: I think you need the experience of advanced countries) gas, pepper, water meters, rubber bullets, horses
As you can, kids!
SS: Then gasket, pepper, waterproofers, rubber bullets, pony.

I work in a zoo shop. One of the buyers long and sadly looked at hamsters, and then issued: "I also had two hamsters as a child. On one hammer I slipped and on the other I fell..."

XX: When I was younger, I was very embarrassed. To hide my uncertainty, I started smoking, it seemed to make me stricter. I got to two packs a day, started to cough heavily, decided to quit. He dropped, began to eat more, weakened, decided to lose weight. To suppress the feeling of hunger in the evenings and to fall asleep faster, he began to drink a little, gradually forgotten seriously. After being drunk, he smoked again and started eating at night. I am an alcoholic, weighing 120 kg and smoking. Melt, it would be better to squeeze.

Sometimes cats are worse than tigers
The Tiger Somewhere There
XXX: The cat is here. It must be washed.

I discussed with my father my work on kindness.
The story of how a boy rescued a cat from a well
That’s not kindness. It is courage, heroism.
Is it?
and yes. The boy could be kind, but not brave enough to climb the well. And then, by his kindness, he would just shoot the cat so that it would not be tormented.
–...

And I like the naive faith of our cat so much that, it is worth it, and we will definitely understand it. He says, he says something to me, and I know how to impose it on him) And he may tell me about the world’s problems.

Dance as if no one is seeing.

Sing as if no one is hearing.

Work on two bets, as if you have an extra life.

XX: Lou, why did you turn up in the desert?
Zzzz: That is it.
XXX: Are you okay?
Zzz: It’s all Caesar. He does not dare to kill me openly, so he sent me to this fucking Africa to die of the heat.
Can you sink your head into cold water? It helps to restore clarity of thought.
Zzz: And who will bring the ideals of the Republic back to Rome?

I have a friend who wrote spores in Arabic. They asked him, “What is this?” he replied, “Prayer!”

Meaning of life
You have to fill your life with meaning. When a full ass occurs in life, and the hands drop, the global meaning of life - in the evolution of mankind - will not help. It is necessary to find closer and understandable reasons, in order to live on, and to find them, it takes effort. If a person has not managed to give meaning to his life, no one will do it for him. In difficult circumstances, many strike into religion, because it is necessary to serve as a cradle, to give ready answers to questions such as “why with me” and “what will happen next.” But in the end, what concepts to follow in his life and how exactly a person chooses himself. The meaning of life must not be sought, but created.

English multimillionaire killed by a herd of cows

Successful people need to be more careful with cows. They hate us.

Yyy: A dumb, gray herd of envy flooded a successful and initiative man – a bright individuality. A bright memory!

Zzz: The case with the dog that killed a millionaire, here with a cow... Do you know what it means? This means that a new current will emerge in the Frankfurt School of Marxism, proclaiming animals as the only social group capable of destroying capitalism, because the working class has become bourgeois and is no longer a cake.

For a long time I could not find an explanation for the practical use of shooting the plates on the stand. I am not going to hunt at all, the birds are sorry. Hobby, entertainment, skill to handle weapons? Yes, all right, and at the same time somewhat unconvincing.
But with the advent of quadrocopters, everything changed! and ;)

as to:
And here you sit, let’s say, on the shore. The weather is glorious. The sun warms. Of your enemies you, clear thing, long ago and forgot to think.

Suddenly, bodies begin to swim through the river. O_O

X: Strange that we remember events older than seven years
Q: And what, shouldn’t you?
X is yes. Brain cells die over time.
I don’t want my brain cells to die :(
X: Well, that is also the case. When they do not die
This is called brain cancer.
and fucking
by : :(

xx: We do not celebrate with trees at all. Preventing the construction of a parking lot - so it was rotten. The whole city has already been destroyed.
Yy: In many cities, it feels like orcs have seized power, or those who were raped by trees in their childhood.
ZZ: I don’t see any orcs here.