bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144324
 29.08.2017
As another example, we can take Switzerland, where every servant has two weapons, and everyone serves, except the disabled.

And Israel, where the Wild West is still, the Indians will pull out the pine and make a rocket out of it, as in an anecdote, they will come to remove the scalp from the wrong, and with about the same intermediate outcome.

A counter-example is New Zealand, where citizens of even the smallest initiative to protect themselves otherwise than from breeding rabbits do not have the right to show, but nevertheless crime below the plinth, because there are fantastic fanatical tricks and pulling them by the buttocks will only be a psychic (and if you don't have a straight life without the protection of society, then a straight road into their ranks, there will be pleasure for a new trick).

And the counter we see in Australia, which is inhabited by former prisoners, "the law" is psychologically perceived as "the word of Pahan", and it is so, the bars fight for everything, including rainwater, it is not possible to pull the rocket of the house itself, and in general, "Chippolino" in real life, because the authorities and citizens have a completely criminal mentality of the vertical barracks hierarchy, the simple citizens of "the barracks", or even "the petouches", and no one will give them the barracks.

And in some African countries mint can rush for the fact that you did not kill the robber, now his state in prison to feed for ten years, and will offer to turn away for a minute.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №144323
 29.08.2017
Chitos: Crying over the forehead from the tracker that sits around 20(!!!) Marquez's book "100 Years of Solitude"

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №144322
 29.08.2017
When I was young, I was the one who is now called a hoodie. A lot of incitement to the militia, fought almost every day, once miraculously did not sit (the chauvin came out of the coma and gave testimony that the other cut him). Then he grew up, met a real girl, now the son is studying at the institute, and the daughter is soon graduating from school.
I am all that for. If I had a volley then (and I had so dreamed of it), I would at best have been released not so long ago, and in the worst... the cemetery administration, due to the abandonment of the tomb and after 20 years from the date of burial, would have given permission for new burials in the place of my grave and there would be no trace of my stay in this best of worlds.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144321
 29.08.2017
Revolt, refined violence and the struggle for power – read the Greek myths!

A collection of Jewish folk tales. Righteous Lot knew his daughters. Abraham submitted his sister-wife Sarah to Pharaoh. The merciful God is melting, burning (Sodom), throwing stones, treating (under Moses), sending sicknesses... The righteous of the chosen people on every page kill, deceive, plunder, rob.

Hitler lived according to the Bible – he acted in the same way as the saints sung in the Book.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144320
 29.08.2017
xxx: I go to the page to the girl, I look at the photos - and you imagine - with each photo she is more beautiful and more beautiful!
YYYYYYYYYYYY The pictures are getting older and older.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144319
 29.08.2017
Ms is
Last year, a chair was forgotten on the street, such an old Soviet, even with springs. In the spring, the nest is grown.
Pipets painting, in the middle of the house there is a chair and a whisper. When trying to reset or pull it out of the chair, the sonder-commandant of the hammer flies out to wet anyone.)

Lo who
Soon very soon, it will probably take off and fly off with a cricket clone.)))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №144318
 29.08.2017
In the pockets of the pants lie two smartphones, which are launched virtual machines, united into a cluster. Can this be called a cloud in the pants?

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №144317
 29.08.2017
Bondarev Oleg
3 hours ·
The idea of a modern detective novel. I do not know how to name. I choose between the "Barbershop of Death" and "The Knife in the Spinner". Propose other options? The main character is a hipster detective in a board cardigan.

Commentary
Mickhail: Girosprut
Andrei: The Doors of Death
Sigway of Destiny
Yuri: "Engineer at outstaffing" - a very relevant topic
Andrei: "The whip of the dead". "The Body at Timbuilding" "Coworking of Killers" - ready trilogy
Here is the finished epigraph:
- Hi, we are vegans-weepers from the neighboring crossfit center. Want to talk about love for life?
- Mother of God... Bring a shotgun, these creatures have found us!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144316
 29.08.2017
In the late 1960s in the United States on the market appeared a new delicious variety of potato "Lenape" (Lenape). The beautiful yellow color and high ammonia content made it ideal for roasting. There was another pleasant bonus - resistance to phytofluoride, capable of destroying the crop almost completely. Colorado frogs did not chew such potatoes. What, from the point of view of modern opponents of GMOs, clearly speaks about safety.

The dark side of the yellow buds opened up a few years after the beginning of cultivation. Consumers began to complain of nausea, diarrhea and other symptoms of poisoning. The investigation identified the culprit. In the pursuit of resistance against pests, breeders managed to multiply the level of production of potato solanine, harmless to the Colorado bush but harmful to humans. Genetic modifications were not needed – it all happened in a completely natural way. But it is not necessary to check for safety, it is a selection!

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144315
 29.08.2017
XXX is
I am tired of doing something :(
YYYY
So not long left.
XXX is
Until 26 years before retirement.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144314
 29.08.2017
When my daughter was 3 years old, she began to be interested in the age of other family members, for some reason it was my age she especially remembered, and at every convenient occasion she remembered it, let's say if someone, including a stranger asked how old she was, she replied "three years, and my mom 33", from which I felt some embarrassment. And here I was 34, I decided to trick, when my daughter asked how old I am now, I answered 19.



Now, when asked about the age of her daughter, she replies, “I am three years old, and my mother is 19 years old... but she was 33.”

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144313
 29.08.2017
Or even more. I told a trans acquaintance, who just recently started hormone therapy. He works in a building materials store. Conversation with the Buyer

Are you a boy or a girl?

What is the difference to you?

There is difference. Do you take the cement or I?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №144312
 29.08.2017
The last couple of years I have been working on September 1.

I go to bed at 8 a.m. and sit by the window.

There are cloudy schoolchildren passing by, to whom I was jealous all summer, that they had holidays, and I am in a warm nursery and with a hot coffee.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №144311
 29.08.2017
Well, the armed society is polite. The idiots shoot themselves. You just don’t want to get into a transitional period, when the idiots already have weapons, and they haven’t had time to shoot.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №144310
 29.08.2017
Accidentally found at the oncological clinic registration.

The man talks to the registrar and, among other things, asks:

Is there a live line?

The answer:

She is temporarily alive.

The man remained silent, then realized:

Do you have such a professional sense of humor?

- No, - they answer, - up to ten live row, and then on the bills.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144309
 29.08.2017
Shinji: If all women with short hair are lesbians, then in small cities we have all women for a full LGBT community

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144308
 29.08.2017
Can you create websites with Firefox?
Can you make cars on the road?

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144307
 29.08.2017
A good wife gives a man wings, a bad woman gives horns.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144306
 29.08.2017
On the Lenin Avenue he caught a taxi at noon at an ambient air temperature of +32 degrees. The taxi driver said he had a broken stove in his car.
At my response in the spirit that today the absence of the stove in the car is unlikely to ruin the impression of the trip, he sadly breathed: "Suka, it does not turn off."
Almost died.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №144305
 29.08.2017
I drink tea, on the packaging is written "According to the recipes of the royal court" manufacturer of the city of Fryazin. Can you tell me who is the King of Fries?

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