bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144304
 29.08.2017
XXX: I noticed that the cycades start roaring at 5 in the morning, then they silence, and at 7 they start again. What is it at all?
YYY: The soundtrack

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №144303
 29.08.2017
Now the injuries can be acquired without any problems. Has the Hammer become less? Are they afraid that they will be injured?
On the contrary, hams at the slightest threat of their inflamed heart disease begin to burn from their trauma.
So why do you think that in the case of the legalization of short-ship firearms will be very different??? to
There will be more victims. Incidental among others.

When I was on surgery, a girl came to me with a broken jaw. When asked what had happened, she replied that she was standing at the stop. And a strange man who passed by, simply without a word, stumbled into her jaw. Witnesses are many. Do you think there is no one with a rifle so that you can’t shoot?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №144302
 29.08.2017
It is unclear why you argue about gun permit when you argue about self-defense permit. We have the one who has suffered the most, and the victim, even if it is he who came to you at night in the house and his flower pot clapped.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №144301
 29.08.2017
I remember working at school, taking up repairs. We go to the committee, everyone likes it. I went to the toilet and everything was fine. On the turn of the girls' toilet, and here the head of the commission, the uncle of the 50-year-old in full seriousness begins to be upset, why there are no pissuars, and to be put within 2 days. Thank God I was able to explain. I thought, red, said that everything was fine, and invited the contractors to sign the documents)))

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144300
 29.08.2017
Sss: Pessimists lose their socks after washing.
Sss: And for optimists, there are superfluous ones.
So where are my socks going? Optimists, and Nuka all got my socks back!!!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №144299
 29.08.2017
Recently, an anarchist was joked at the servaque.
2) What is it? Usually they are bathing chitters, and here it is so pathetic - an anarchist.
(1) It is the case that he was not a cheerleader, but conducted the illegal activity of a sabotage-anarchist in the servaque.
2nd –?? to
(1) – You understand, the whole meaning of the game for this type was to overthrow as many of its allies as possible. At the same time, he did not exchange for a banal shot, but showed his sophisticated cleverness - for example, put an explosive C4 on the helicopter, and waited for it to be filled with Allied infantry and take off. And then under the wild rust he exploded this helicopter in the air. Or even, sat down for air defense and started hunting for his aircraft.
(2) - PSC, in nature a diversionist))
(1) – Oh, the floor of the serwak was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And then he broke his ipeshnik – the guy, it turns out, came to us from Estonia
(2) and the flight)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144298
 29.08.2017
Loid: Wishes for future work.
Position: Service Engineer
Loid: So I want to attribute "ordinary".

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144297
 28.08.2017
I forgot my keys at home. The balcony is open on the third floor. No longer get used to it. But the puppy was clearly in the wardrobe when I came home from the balcony, and it could be read on the mouth - "Master, how did you do this?"and "

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №144296
 28.08.2017
When I’m stressed, I eat chocolate.
YYY: You eat it all the time!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144295
 28.08.2017
She: What’s new to you?
He: We rent the apartment with a comrade, I work there, in general, it is fun, the people are constantly in our house.
he: I am writing, you could not find, you have in the shops, I want books on capoeira, preferably with pictures :)
She: What is it?
He: In short, this Brazilian martial dance, invented by captive African Negroes, allows you to injure several opponents from a position lying with your hands tied. A break later came out :)
She: Have fun with you. Do you often wake up with your hands tied?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144294
 28.08.2017
The Aitishnikovs have been displaced, now the cats have been taken?

cottage, shredder, odmin

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144293
 28.08.2017
xxx: An unprecedented case for this topic, because I am going to write about the movie, but I will not tell you its name, I forget it stupidly :) If anyone knows how to use Google or has watched it and remembers the title, then I will be grateful if you say. <.. more many letters..>

yyy: The film was interested and I was a little stunned, but unfortunately, according to the keywords "Negritish in the role of the god of the film" nothing was found.
This is what the damned political correctness is about. and ;)

Zzz: Guess the movie by review :)

TTT: This may not be a matter of political correctness. Sergey sometimes looks at movies that have not even been made yet.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №144292
 28.08.2017
“I’ll have a gun and everyone around will be polite.”
It is as touching as:
“I will be given a sword and I will be a knight.”

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144291
 28.08.2017
There was a case after which I realized that always, in order not to happen, you have to stop and think. Even for a second.

Worked as a Bulgarian on metal and at some point the scratch got in the eye, despite the glasses like the dive and all the precautions (icons, prayers, etc.). ) is

And here I am, as an orc, in front of an attaque, and shaking my legs, saying what to do, call the notary, I will write a will, as suddenly my comrade, with a missing face, pronounces: "magnet".

It didn’t even come to me immediately. But when I got there, all I said was, “Damn a genius.”

I passed a magnet under the eye and voila-ja saved.

He owes him his life.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144290
 28.08.2017
The Internet in its present form was described in a 1946 story (I myself am shocked by the date of publication!) A Logic Named Joe (A Logic Named Joe) A faulty computer in the world network replaces the main search engine, removes all filters and gives users on request any information, including crime and disclosure of personal data of users. I have been tormented lately by the question, and not whether it was written by any traveler in time, or if it was painfully exactly predicted.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №144289
 28.08.2017
> and now baby

Get rid of what you have done with your child, grandfather.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №144288
 28.08.2017
Let me explain to you on your fingers what the potential danger of shortcuts in the hands of everyone is. First, a gun is one of the most technical types of weapons. In order to normally be able to handle a gun, you need to be long and turbulent, burning cartridges and money, training the processing of the descent, retention, stand. Without all this on the ground, all the bullets released in an emergency situation will go anywhere, but not in the attacker. And bullets from cutting weapons fly far, and to whom they will fly - a good question. Have you ever seen people training with now permitted rubber guns? At least 95% of owners, at best, once a year, burn a box or another of ammunition on the babakhing. Plus, you have to train the catch, the speed of guidance and that’s all. Secondly. The gun itself will not help. If the brains are few - it will only give confidence, which will aggravate the situation. Self-defense is not wearing a gun, but a whole complex of correct behavior, assessment of the situation, psychological stability in a stressful situation. You also need to be able to shoot. It is very difficult. Without all this, the gun owner in the best case will transfer the weapon for free use to third parties, in the worst - will get serious damage, in the worst - will break up with life.
In short, I think so, if you allow storage and wear - so only if you are a CMS for shooting. Otherwise, it will be a dangerous toy for you and those around you. // With respect, member of the FPSR/IPSC

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144287
 28.08.2017
If the cat first sat under the boards, and then ran the zigzag, then what prevented him from stopping the dog at these stages, rather than trying to save the body from the fist? If it was already the fifth cat, the owner should have understood what it was for the cat to end when he saw it on the site. Take the dog into the house/volier/to the bond if his "hunter-predator" words "can’t"and "when I"do not understand or the cat itself to scare up to the dog, right?
It is not necessary to say that you have not had time to catch and take away, to stop the dog you do not need to run after it with an arcana. Just the owner considers such killing of foreign cats to be the norm. Well, I hope another time not a cat will come to them, but a bigger dog or a crazy fox.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144286
 28.08.2017
In fact, common sense says that without the need for surgical intervention is evil. Cancer in unborn animals. But recently, veterinarians seem to lack money and they even advertise themselves here.

There were anti-sterilizers. Now the poodles and anti-vaccinators will be tightened. You mainly start with yourself - for naturalness, that is, demonstratively break your own OMS policy and to the doctors with no foot. And don’t worry about vetes, there’s such a turn that you didn’t even dream of. Again, on the treatment of your unvaccinated and unsterile cat will earn. Not now, but in 10 years.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №144285
 28.08.2017
I remember, when I was just beginning to work as a pogromist, I was terribly irritated by mat and anglicisms of the type of "conservation". They are still very irritable now, but it is no longer possible to get up in a beautiful posture: the hands are also in blood.

2> by Elbow

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna