Those who get up late are better off sleeping.

The Winter. The morning. Construction of a gas pipeline. It is bright, but there are also reflectors and lights. Against the uneven structure of workers and masters in new orange helmets stands the chief engineer of the office, in a white helmet on the fur armor.



Behind it a small, twelve-ton pipeline with an expanded arrow. The hose of the pipeline is half-lowed and slightly swirled by the wind.



Snoring from the permeability and the constant oath of the voice, the main, habitually screams the pipe and whisper of the wind. He is lecturing on industrial safety. A light frost at minus twenty-four. One degree is missing. Those who flew out of the main word freeze and fall on the still clear morning snow.



In the cabin of the pipeline carrier is a poorly awakened machinery driver. There is warm. He is asleep and does not notice that he is a little "missing", gradually grinding his hook.



- Today, my dear ones, on the track General of the State Gortechnadzor. And if one of you, a fox, is noticed by them without a helmet, then his comrades will bury in this trunk without any excavator, using a keil and a toothbrush. And the one who thinks that a helmet on the track is not necessary, let him say immediately, in order not to torture comrades, I will explain everything to him popularly with the help of the hands, - the chief shows the structure, hidden in a fur gloves, - and I will show very intelligently on examples...



at this time. Hunted by another wind blow of the pipeline. Carefully ticks the head on the white helmet. in the back. Gak is small, but heavy. The main falls.



The people are staring at the main circus with examples of industrial safety.



- Approximately in this way, - the slightly contured chief rises up and removes the helmet, in order to scratch the broken spot, - and there would be no helmet...



He spreads his hands to the sides and lowers his head, showing with all his appearance the hopelessness of being when without a helmet. He cannot negotiate. The fucking jack. Submitting to the next momentum of the wind beats the main right in the forehead. and easy. This time, the principal doesn’t even fall, but just rolls.



“Without a helmet,” he concludes his lecture, “it would have been much more painful. And some who now have me, regardless of the helmet, jump to an accident at work.



And under the friendly rust of the people who are diverging on the cars climbs into the cabin of the pipeline maker. A sleeping driver.

Did you sleep with my wife?
A minute, I’ll look at it now. Yes I slept.
I am dissatisfied.
A minute (the notebook is listed). I too...

I have a pop Merkel.
YYYY: Oo
YYY: is it tired?
XXX is fucking
XXX is frozen
XXX: The Telephone

This is a diary in images, Pushkin's visual commentary on himself, a special record of thoughts and feelings, a sort of report on people and events.

And in fact, Alexander Sergeevich simply thoughtlessly painted on the fields, when he did not want to listen to the needy "thin" knowers of creativity, who told him what the author of a work wanted to say, and what the pictures on the fields mean.

Fuck, why are you so fucking like people who are completely unfamiliar with you wash their socks? Wash yours as you want. Get away from the strangers.

I go to the market.
In the fruit department I see the price "FENEKY VYALENY". On the machine: why in the fruit department and not in the meat?

That’s why jeans with twisted hips and straight knees are fashionable, and if you wipe out or break through your ass – go home and change your clothes?

About the socks. One day I didn’t regret the money and bought 100 pairs of identical black socks.
I thought they would finally stop playing mahjong "find a pair".
After two or three washes:
Grey, black, brown, dark red and even green.
Everything is painted before it is sold.
And in length also - part of the village, part stretched.

Interesting stories of grandmothers.

In Zakarpatya (Ukraine) there is a village in which very many twins are born. It is believed that the water there is healing (selenium contains, and he, like, contributes to twins).

And here the girls from the tourist group actively collect water from a healing source, and the local grandmother tells them:
This is not a matter of water, girl. The main thing is that the man is wicked.

Yura, your little girl doesn’t ask yet: Dad, give me money?
YYY: She still can’t talk.) she’s only 10 months.
That you don’t understand her doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how to talk.
Yyy: It’s possible, but I pretend I don’t understand when talking about money. Sometimes I work with my wife.)

Today I did something that completely characterizes me. He removed the syphon from the shell to clean it... and washed it in the same shell...

The Solitary Socks

I have a socks! It’s like a bag with bags, just a socks. It is called "House-2". There lonely socks are looking for a pair, and if not found for a long time, you can throw them away.
Or to destroy!! to

From the correspondence of the frontender (F) with the backer (B).

Q: Where is the image folder? Missed somewhere.
B: I removed it, and what was there?
F: There were pictures of the site.
B is too much?
F: All images of the site.

Representatives of a number of television companies with anger deny this information!
That supposedly sports commentators have already centralized such citations.

During the broadcast of the 2018 World Cup football matches with the participation of our national team, you can broadcast the following justifications for a bad game:
All teams passed through the hole of the selection matches.
The age of many players.
- Not all footballers are accustomed to the "autumn-spring" mode, which was recently adopted in Russia during the championship draw.
Many athletes from the opponent team play in the same club. They are better than Russian footballers.
A very cold summer (as in early June 2017) affected the schedule of preparation of our national team.
Young players are losing in the game against the world football.
Very high quality grass cover. Not all footballers are used to playing in this arena.
“At this world championship, the football ball "Chebour" is very uncomfortable for the goalkeepers. The trajectories of his flight are almost unpredictable".

Due to the celebration of the Day of Russia in St. Petersburg will extend the operation of night buses.

First comment (likes more than news): Well, at least you don’t have to walk from the department to go home

AliExpress package tracker (17track) offers to translate the information about the passage of the package from its Chinese into several common languages.
And in Klingon.
I have everything.

It was a post about experimental materials and the selection of the city...

So then...

If the announcement says:
Fresh and good air, environmentally clean place.
It should be read:
- Located in the area "The Farest Fucking". Transport does not go there, there is no road and it is not foreseeable. Electricity on holidays.

If the announcement says:
Plain area, resting and fertile land.
It should be read:
It grows, it grows, it grows, it grows all that is possible. After six months of purchase, you will only crawl and dig.

If the announcement says:
A small old house where you can rest and spend the night.
It should be read:
- On the site is a semi-rotted barrel meter per meter of shit and sticks, to which it is scary to approach closer than 2 meters under the fear of collapse.

If the announcement says:
A quiet place, far from the noisy road.
It should be read:
Theft in the villages is such that even shit will be pulled out of the sort, not to mention the harvest. All the bombs in the district will be yours.

A few days ago, my aunt, an ophthalmologist, told me one story. Further from his words.

“It was in the mid-1990s. Patients from the North Caucasus were often brought to the clinic. One of them needed a corneal transplant. I started telling the accompanying about the operation, that there is a line, you need to wait for the donor material. At this point, I am interrupted by one of the accompanyers:

Do you need an eye? If it’s in 3-4 hours, okay?”

A friend told how he decided to change the place of work, made a portfolio posted on the site for job search. One day, a girl calls him, appears to be the manager of the company's recruitment, and asks: (D) - a girl (Z)-known

Why did you decide to change workplace?

c) Not satisfying wages

Q. What salary do you expect?

(C) - (called the number)

I understand you, we will call you back.

and not having time to deliver the phone to the phone shoots: "Oh*el what" pi pi pi.