bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140863
 27.04.2017
"An unlucky smoker broke his leg for a girl"

At the Reshota station in the Nizhnyingasi district, a 17-year-old "parkourist" twice jumped from a pedestrian bridge into a half-car with coal. The last attempt ended with a break.
The candidate for the Darwin Prize. A bit behind the wire and another piece of coal would fall into the car.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140862
 27.04.2017
In a dispute between a man and a woman, it is not the one who is right, but the one who is always right.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №140861
 27.04.2017
The husband made the most delicious sausages for beer. My cat and I had splashes. While I was distracting my husband, the cat stole a couple of sausages. We sit in the bathroom together and quietly eat.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №140860
 27.04.2017
The RZD will abandon the plankcarter wagons.
Low-income citizens will be transported in goods. Tickets are a bit expensive.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140859
 27.04.2017
I drag XSLT Template site in UMI.CMS, found comments in code:

<ul>
<!-- I hate you fucking, steward!!!! and >
...
<a bunch of wise conditions (and in xsl they are multi-storey:) for the output of classes and other lobes>
...
I hate every single cell!!! and >
< and/or >

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140858
 27.04.2017
On advertising, where it is advised to turn off the water while brushing teeth.
In our city, the water in the pipeline is taken from underground springs through wells. After use, it is spilled into the river through the cleaning, which eventually falls into the Arctic Ocean. If we reject stereotypes, it is based on the fact that:
a) I do not send humanitarian aid to African Africans (namely water),
(b) It is highly unlikely that the underground waters of Siberia are connected with the groundwater sources in Africa;
c) taking into account the intricacy of water and air currents, the water poured out and paid by the counter by me from the crane can still reach Africa and rain;
We conclude that this advertisement deprives black children of the only chance to get water from me!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140857
 27.04.2017
Nicholas
The cat saw that we were eating dried mango. Requires to share

Andrei
I recently had a fish cracker.

Yulia
It is dangerous for us to leave seeds, the cat eats them, and then produces the wrong cozinaki.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140856
 27.04.2017
I explained. Puffy legs are the same part of the image, as the swamps on the whole face. Which of the cosmetics knew only washing. That is, such a funny prostitute, who can be as smart as she wants, but this does not prevent her from being simple and straightforward.

But in the image of glamorous dolls they are, gently speaking, inappropriate.

It is just a matter of the combination of details in the image that someone chooses for themselves. It chooses forever, this week, this time of day, or this period of life. There is one "universally correct" rule - the details should be combined, and if contrasted, then by intent, not by stupidity. The attempt to declare these details as mandatory and universal rules itself is a testament to its own narrowness.

That is all.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140855
 26.04.2017
Suddenly

Suddenly I realized that small children are like people: they ignore basic safety advice (do not eat sand, do not irritate a daring dog), are offended when you tell them they are wrong, run out or go out to fight when they realize that they will not be given what they want. And don’t let God ask them to sit in silence for a moment!! to

Suddenly I thought that every second was sober. In the best case.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140854
 26.04.2017
> Nevertheless, unridden legs are very thrown in the eye.

You are perfect, your vision is perfect. And I have to strain my eyes to see the thin hair one and a half meters below the level of my eyes. I often don’t even know if a girl’s feet are naked or not. Do you post, or... are you for shaving men’s legs? O_O O_O

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140853
 26.04.2017
Humans with thyroid cancer - you are doing everything right) Pin, throw, ask and get upset about the good is the strength and desire, because it is a real nightmare :( TNM outside of oncology do not even know about - to fill the map of the first identified one is literally "mission impossible", a few years ago only for this story with couriers chased to the clinics of profile dispensers, so that you will write there as you will be right, and we will then fill in. Right now for this there is viber :( Open the classification and strain your head - no, have not heard.
To confuse right-left on ultrasound, to confuse the testicles and ovaries, to see the non-existent parts of organs and organs in a person as a whole - the norm, to be carried with horror in the eyes and waving the ECG tape, because there is a thing, and the inscription on the history of the disease "DECTROCARDY!" is not noticed - the norm, ignoring the words of the patient and records in the maps about the reactions to drugs - the norm. With the introduction of electronic diaries plus to stories and the use of harvested fish, dynamics tracking has generally turned into a guess on the coffee thickness: the week is all great, clear improvement in condition, breath! and resuscitation. What, why, from where? Think for yourself, guess for yourself - immediately after the "repair" everything goes wrong again, is discharged under surveillance in the clinic, in a couple of weeks to return with the same ambulance.
Let’s not treat yourself formally and be healthy!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140852
 26.04.2017
The Hobbit
In fact, both fierce body positivists and virgins, fanatically destroying every hair, are not so many. They scream louder than everybody. Are you always sure that you are not a hobbit-conformist? My colleague once told me that one day she wore fashionable broken jeans, forgetting that she had hairy legs, and in a rush shaved exactly the places where the holes came.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140851
 26.04.2017
Let’s say, there is no asphalt everywhere. And where he is, he may have nuances.

BBB: I went around these nuances in Adigae!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №140850
 26.04.2017
xxx: I think the manufacturers are deceiving us because the gel after shaving from the irritation of the niqab does not help, as everyone irritated me so and continue
Irritated
I stopped shaving once.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №140849
 26.04.2017
#written letters

Fuck, I broke my head. What, well, can this phrase mean?

The joke:
The boy went to the sea with his dad and caught him with a woman. The annoyed father explains that he is pumping his aunt so that she does not drown. Yes, I know, the son replies, last year different uncles also pumped my mom, and then one stuck the pump and my mom had to blow it.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140848
 26.04.2017
From D3:
Goldoleg: They say, high radiation leaves a metal taste in the mouth.
sly2m: but not for long. A year and a half, maximum.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140847
 26.04.2017
mexmed: Well, how to get past the fact that a dog will be "chicken" and a cat will be "psaka"?)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №140846
 26.04.2017
Krasnoyarsk Metropolitan threatened with a terrible death to the citizens demanding a referendum on the construction of a temple.
It was so blurred.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140845
 26.04.2017
I am continually tormented by the question: why did Gerasim first drown Mummy and then leave the barracks, rather than drown the barracks and leave with Mummy?
WOW: Because Turgenev lied: in real Gerasim drowned Mummy and stayed. Turgenev decided to portray the protest, which was not, but did it illogically.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №140844
 26.04.2017
At the meeting, Anton boasted that he specifically registered on the site to call me on a date. How would you refuse? Especially sympathetic.

We walked in the park and talked. The bell ringed at the nearest church.

Are you a believer? – He has stumbled.

and no.

Do you not go to church?

and no.



After a few meetings, we visited him. The guy helped me take off my jacket, decidedly went to the kitchen and poured me a full glass of water from a large bottle.

and drink!

What is it?

Holy water, drink it

Why Why?

My mom asked me to check if you were smoking.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna