bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140783
 24.04.2017
Everyone wants to buy cheaper oil, but no one wants to own cheaper oil.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140782
 24.04.2017
Hatha Valery: wrote instead of the text "Hello World" "mama lublyu tebya". My mom saw - 500 rubles gave.I love programming.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №140781
 24.04.2017
In vain, oh, in vain you started this topic about hole soap... luck will run these "amateurs" of canned pineapples and.. well you understand

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140780
 24.04.2017
<Tar> To be honest, after seeing a certain number of witches with enots seriously wanted to read something about their psychology
<Tar> Because it looks like they are consciously behaving like naked asses
<Tar> I open Google, I kill "psychology of the enot", I get a huge brilliant nail
<Tar> 20 rules of life of enots from the spam site in the first place - it's somewhat unfortunate
<Tar> Publication from VK. No thank you.
<Tar> Psychedelic Stories
<Tar> E?
<Tar> "Enota-extra-sensus from Tula beat stroke"
<Tarr>...
<Tar> I am terribly sorry, WHAT?! to
/ Later time
<Tar> Second page, second result - "Psychology of an Effective Manager"
<Tar> Strangely enough, the closest to the truth - these spiders are something like X)
Tar connects with Google

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140779
 24.04.2017
The rest of the cooked corn can be used for salad.
A straight corn? A whole cocoon?
I was talking about the beginnings.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140778
 24.04.2017
Plans for life: get rid of bad habits, learn three foreign languages, win the lottery, found a new religion, disassemble the sludge on the hard drive. The latter may be rejected, too unlikely.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140777
 24.04.2017
Over the years, the desire to wake up famous goes into the desire to just wake up.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №140776
 24.04.2017
I once went to the store, not to the supermarket, but such, ordinary, with shelves. There are three departments. I bought cigarettes in one department, well, two hundred rubles conditionally, and calculated five thousand, there were no others. I took the cigarettes, went to another department, sausages there, bread, she put everything in my bag, I took the bag, in my pockets, and money - yok. by Ayia! All the pockets, and the pockets are dark, the jacket, the jeans, inside, outside, on the sleeve, on the knee, I love when the pockets are many, on the shorts still such a piston, I don't know for what, for a joke, or for a condom can, but there I didn't look. In short, everything broke out, broke out, turned out - no money! Where did you go? The phone is on the spot, the passport here, the keys, cigarettes, a lighter, a wallet with cards, and cash - three rubles and tobacco crumbs. Dress up and look at your pants. Because more where? The seller says – maybe you put them by the pocket? And as a whirlwind on the whole shop: "Comrades, here the man dropped the money! Look under your feet!”

The people are like a flock of straws, the heads sharply so into the floor - a thousand. Then of course to me. Everyone is interested in looking at a fucking man with his pockets turned out, who managed to fuck five pieces in a flat place ten meters away.

In short, there is no money, the seller tells me - you go to the box where the cigarettes were taken. Maybe I just forgot to give it? What do I mean – I forgot? This is not a ruble. I even remember putting them in my pocket! But I went in any case. Nothing to do anyway.

I go to the department and there are no sellers. There are some three patents in a row, I ask – where is Madame? They ran out on the street for a fool. I forgot a fool.

I jump out on the street, the butterfly throws, and this beautiful woman, on her bare feet, ten meters from the doorstep, is trying to pair my surrender to some man. He goes away, what kind of money? And she said, "What do you make me nervous in the cold! You just bought cigarettes from me!” A good man honestly caught up, or maybe just confused. You go like yourself from work, breathe cold air, and there is a grandmother thrown from behind, in t-shirts and hats, with a bunch of money. A divorce or a divorce.

In short, it all ended well. I approach the house, behind the keys in the pocket of utilities, I feel, - ah, money in place. It is good. But! No keys, no passports, no phone, no cigarettes, no lights. Nothing is! I left it all on the drawer.

Back to the store. Thank God, everything was in place, I took everything, the saleswoman blinked at me, saying that if the day did not go, then by night it would be lucky. Okay well. I came home, already with the keys, with the passport, getting shorter, shopping, cigarettes, bread, sausages, money - four eight hundred. You are Tiff! I forgot to pay for the products. Go back what to do.

The seller laughs. He thought of me. No is. He says - after your departure, we have forgotten about you, a strange man is walking around the store. Walks and Walks. You will look here, under the refrigerator, under the shelf. I ask a man, what are you looking for? He is looking for money. Have you lost money? Yes not! One man is lost and I am looking for him.

He was very saddened when he found out that he had already found everything without him. He said, “Well, give me a beer then, I honestly sought it!”
They were expelled. Gave a bottle of beer and put it on the frost.
The cruel people.

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140775
 24.04.2017
In the United States, the son of a State Duma deputy was sentenced to 27 years for cyber fraud.
He did not explain that the Russians can only steal, the Americans can not.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140774
 24.04.2017
We stand on the sidewalk. A car runs on the sidewalk:

Passengers: Tell me, where is the event here?
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It is down the street, after two stops turn left, the address is there.
Passengers thank you!
XHH: Please
Memento_mori: (looking behind the car) we seem to have such a look that we know exactly where it is.
HH: In the sense?
Memento_mori: They didn’t say what the event was.

(The event is held on the occasion of the opening of the bike season).

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №140773
 24.04.2017
Hurricanes with female names kill more people than hurricanes with male names, because people, due to some cognitive distortion, consider them less deadly, and therefore hide or linger later than they should.
M: Idiots... apparently all hurricanes should be called Codnraty.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №140772
 24.04.2017
Dad and grandfather are talking about their grandson.
Father, look at how you look.
Grandpa with bitterness: what? Spotting on the beard?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140771
 24.04.2017
I listened to the radio and the table. A woman over the age of forty calls and reads a greeting to her son, which ends with the words:"... and to find a good wife. And I ask you to put the song "Putany, fucking....""

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №140770
 24.04.2017
By Viasat Express is the program "The most terrifying roads". I just arrived from Kiev through Zbarag to the snowy Bukovel on a summer rubber and smiley from this TV show.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №140769
 24.04.2017
XHH: I already said that we have the last of 15 cash unemployed.
So here
From time to time, the work number in the program changes from their present to 15.
Today it was so on mine, while she was constantly struggling with statics and glittering.
The spirit of the fifteenth wanders on Silpo, settles in his relatives and takes revenge.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140768
 24.04.2017
From VK:
Still the correct title of the Radishchev book - "Travel from St. Petersburg to Moscow in the white coat".

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №140767
 24.04.2017
I can’t understand your concern about gays when in your surroundings the majority are pedras!!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140766
 24.04.2017
Serjozh, you are like an adult man, deal with your women yourself. To be honest, I have trouble with my own ears.
sowell> It’s you funny now said, Taffy – she’s not my wife! and :)
Judging by the number of quarrels between you, it’s fifteen or twenty of your wives.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140765
 23.04.2017
Ancient chronicles are like programmers: there is a book, there are letters, and what is written - only a chronicler can read. Even the king is illiterate.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140764
 23.04.2017
From VK (Orthography of the Author):
Graduated from the Nizhny Novgorod State Linguistic University. Since 2013 this day will also be included in my holiday list.

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