bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №140123
 01.04.2017
All overnight at work.

What fucking pride do you have that you have such a heroic organization of work that it is impossible to fit into working hours?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140122
 01.04.2017
XX: During the operation you can get anesthesia. There is no sleep during narcotics. You feel the injection, blink, lie on the operating table, and open your eyes already in the room. For you, a second has passed, but the operation for this time has already ended and you have been transported from the operating room to the room.
So, death is the same, but without awakening.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140121
 01.04.2017
...from the discussion of web server vulnerabilities in Miele dishwashers:

AntonSor> Survived, washing dishes under Linux!
ultraElephant> The same Linux for housewives.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140120
 01.04.2017
A Kentucky congressman expressed the right thought in a last year’s interview with Reason magazine: “When people ask, ‘Will our children live better than us?’ I answer, ‘Yes, but it doesn’t depend on politicians, it depends on engineers.’”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140119
 01.04.2017
Comments under the video "What happens in the head of a rooted procrastinator"

I will see tomorrow.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №140118
 01.04.2017
In the dining room:
XXX: Give me a salad.
Yyy: It doesn’t look very fresh, don’t you fear it’s going to be bad?
If I suddenly get bad, I will have an official reason not to go out tomorrow for this stupid Saturday.
Give me two salads.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140117
 01.04.2017
Comment to the news: "The actor and writer Yevgeny Grishkovets expelled from the hall a spectator who fell asleep during his performance"

And then he asked two laughing young men to go on stage and forced them to tell the hall that they had such a funny thing. At the end of the evening, the actor and writer invited a spectator who spoke with a neighbor to continue the performance for him. Another viewer, who was writing a text message on his smartphone in the midst of the show, the famous director asked to repeat the part of the role he was playing now, and when the viewer could not, asked him to go out in the theater hallway and think about his behavior.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140116
 01.04.2017
XXX: How is the meeting?
yyy: It was crazy interesting, I barely broke my mouth. Even the factor in the mind to calculate, in order to at least somehow have fun. I reached 11 and then I had finished operating memory.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №140115
 01.04.2017
Do you know anything about higher mathematics?
It is clearly better for me than for all of them.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №140114
 01.04.2017
Did you know that salmon has lice? These small (up to 1.5 cm) parasites drink the blood of fish, eat them and carry diseases. Salmon farms, where hundreds of thousands of fish live in one place, are the perfect place for lice. What is this about technology?"

Norway is the largest producer of salmon. To combat parasites there invented a cool thing - a submarine drone Stingray. Using computer vision, he recognizes lice on fish and shoots them from a distance of up to 2 meters with a green laser, similar to what is used in surgery. Parasites are instantly roasted, and the laser does not harm the fish - the scaly reflects the rays. One plant per day can destroy tens of thousands of parasites. This is not a laboratory concept – Stingray is already being used by more than 100 fish farms in Norway. A submarine drone, shooting from a laser on lice on salmon - sounds strange, looks futuristic, and most importantly - it is not a toy, but a really useful thing. This is really cool tech.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140113
 01.04.2017
It seemed to me that the ability of a musical performer was assessed a little differently.

>>>>>>

A strange pattern has long been observed. The more on the popular singer's clothes, the better she sings.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №140112
 31.03.2017
A cat who lives on a meat kitten is constantly afraid of being castrated. Because everything can’t be so good.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140111
 31.03.2017
Today after the Director-General’s story of how he broke the neighbor’s wifi last night and now will sit on it. I realized that there would be no quarterly prize (

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140110
 31.03.2017
90% of “smart” TVs can be hacked by malicious TV broadcasts and spy on TV viewers
YYY: The brain of a TV viewer can be accurately hacked with a malicious TV program, even if he is watching it on a regular old (even light bulb) TV.
Zzz: 90% of TV viewers

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140109
 31.03.2017
How did you think you could do it all alone? I would call my brother or I would have chocolate in the evening. I can’t understand your motivation!
My motivation and mouse are understandable. I go, look, a piece of cactus lies. I think I bite...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №140108
 31.03.2017
Once a regional Aikido competition was held in a city, of course, a lot of people participated in the organization, and my friend included: this special on everything that looks like electronics.

In the hall of the sports complex was mounted an audio system, four compass in a grid for the jury and another for the equipment, that is, for my friend.

The competition is on its way, for a week, the fighters climb each other, and here is the final.

Referry evaluates the readiness of the fighters, raises his hand... and drops it down under the thunderstorming "FIGHT" of, yes, Mortal Kombat'a, and then plays the very legendary music.

In short, the first round of the final was broken for twenty minutes - the wild rust of a couple of hundreds of spectators under the music from the MK (which a friend never cut off, only made quieter), did not allow the referee to start the round.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140107
 31.03.2017

[12:33:21] <BACR> and what does the size of the leg affect?
[12:34:03] <BACR> on endurance when walking or maybe on endurance?
[12:34:18] <BACR> or on the cost of shoes
[12:34:59] <Deathless> on the power of the jet..
[12:35:06] <BACR> and

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140106
 31.03.2017
I, of course, first asked him why the FBI killed Lennon.

The standard response to demonstrating that agents are taught to mimic a sense of humor is to respond with a reference to another memetical urban legend. Because he tried to steal Elvis Presley’s ticket for a flying plate to his home planet.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №140105
 31.03.2017
As a child, I watched Team A and dreamed of growing as clever as Hannibal. Or as strong as B.E. Or as charismatic as the Beautiful.
Now I’m 29, I talk to things, I name flowers, I have invisible friends, and I’m constantly reincarnating myself into other people.
Why exactly Murdoch?! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140104
 31.03.2017
xxx: Personally, for me, the symbol of relentlessness and honest attitude toward work is Philch from the latest Harry Potter film, especially the scene where he is mowing the garbage after a grand assassination for Hogwarts.

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