bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №137781
 13.01.2017
Horses and Shinshills. My cat pulled a whale today! Without a head! Not a Maine Kun, an ordinary villager. No, I’ve become accustomed to mice, earthworms, and even rats on the doorstep, but when I see a headless white, I almost put off the brick. At the same time, to the forest from half a kilometre will be, and the proteins there are quite shungish unlike the garden-park. Who knows how to drag a cat to bring rabbits home?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137780
 13.01.2017
<RemR>: Are you assistants on a trolleybus?
19N4T0V: Call it an electric limousine

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137779
 13.01.2017
If a slave is allowed to change his master, can he be considered free?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №137778
 13.01.2017
To yesterday's story about the tea tea.I am a long-time fan of this site. I have not written, so please do not judge.
The Ural town, where beer in the shops was not often, and we have just been demobilized from the ranks of the brave SA. According to the law after the army you can rest for 3 months,in the beginning of the summer,heat.Gathered at the comrade home,we sit decide what we will do today.I don't remember who says:So beer to the local store brought,give beer to buy.We were six,gathered money decent,liters for 30 bottles is not enough.And I ordered me with a friend to the store, and the bottles are not suitable.We go to the owner, let's get a bottle of rice,and he did not eat a bottle of aluminium for 40 liters.Let's think it will go down.And here we go with two to the store, bottles are not enough.And I said the first three or four days after the debris in the shape of the army,but not in the parade of the barrel ( Well, I think, they drank beer now scratch full, and I answer that I want beer, and here this man cries to the seller: Rita, let the servant without a turn, and adds, I think the rest do not mind.All the men approved and began to push me to the shelf.The seller asks, tar where?I turn around and shout, "serga give me here."
It was a good beer, lively, and even a little left for the next day.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №137777
 13.01.2017
The man’s cleaning ends when the missing man is found.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №137776
 13.01.2017
As a child, he represented judges as titans, fearless, unemotional, tough people with a giant baggage of knowledge.

What did I see when I grew up? Most of the same old-fashioned accountants from the offices, with the voice of the seller in the market, are forever dissatisfied, extremely emotional and with such knowledge of the laws that they judge, and I am ashamed.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №137775
 13.01.2017
Methodical guidance for teachers. Approved by FGS, among other things.
"We wear gloves"
Nash, I am going to resign.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №137774
 13.01.2017
At night, I dream of a wedding, and I don’t discuss it with anyone either verbal or written. My real wedding was 15 years ago. So why is the morning advertisement furiously offering me wedding dresses, right? Matrix to stop!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137773
 13.01.2017
xxx: I really want to be such a cute girl, and I, scuco, tax inspector ;D

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №137772
 13.01.2017
XXX: This is another throw.
Yyy: Yes, I thought so too, but it was sent by a girl from the tax office, shit?
Any tax girl, first a girl, and then a tax girl.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №137771
 13.01.2017
Hicks, discussion of growing teeth
X: Give two
Give me a 32 :(

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №137770
 13.01.2017
<Lucia> Have you passed the safety instructions? Remember what was said about touching the monitor screen?
<Georg> So the same thing about ELT monitors was said, they accumulate charge, and there is LCD, what does it have to do with it?
<Lucia> What is the relationship? I'll explain popularly, if you'll tick your fat fingers into my monitor, then you can accidentally get a chair on the hillside.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137769
 13.01.2017
Sometimes it seems to me that if an alien who has secretly arrived and well disguised himself as a landlord, writes here with good, practical knowledge about how to properly, for example, "pull the Marlesian tripeas", then there will be some local boring thing that will write how to do it really correctly, to name it and to understand it.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №137768
 13.01.2017
Refus: it is strange yet that they did not try to check the "17 moments of spring" - there is a Russian Soviet man walking in FASCHIST FORM!!!!111 has moved to the enemy!!! to
Jablik: There is another Soviet man in a swastika shirt (!!!) Smoking and drinking! Children are in shock.
Refus: That is interesting. Have our figures already been censored before the swastiks were blotted during the film show?
All will happen, guess a little.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №137767
 13.01.2017
From the raft:
XHH: Anyone, the world football championship will be taken away. In other words, a boycott will be announced. We will play four: with Kazakhstan, Belarus and Turkey.
Finally a chance to win a medal!
Zzzz: No, we will take the fourth place.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137766
 13.01.2017
XXX: The Payment
XXX is working
YYY: a direct pofixil pofixil?
XXX: You have fixed the fixed
xxx: even the cushion cleaned up for no need))

#odmin #cotte #shredder

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137765
 13.01.2017
And there are people for whom pragmatism is above ordnance. And what to blame the already heavenly manna of the food-eating collective farmers, they simply made the ground at the intersections of the last 50 meters asphalt. Dirt from the wheels is rubbed out on this section and does not get on the highway.

And there are people who know nothing about the subject, telling about it with confidence. Wet, sticky dirt (fat clay, heavy clay, etc.) does not shake until it dries and falls away.
And I will tell you as a collective farmer: in the spring if you accidentally entered the bed, the dirt can only be cleaned by sharply scratching it with various objects, and then washing the shoes under running water with a brush. Running on the road with shoes does not give exactly any result.
Have you seen the protector on trucks or tractors? Probably not.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №137764
 12.01.2017
I can say one thing, my psychoanalyst mostly listens to me, but sometimes asks.
> guiding questions to answer which I sometimes rush into complete stupor and start
> wondering why I never thought about it myself.

By the way, yes. I was not in psychoanalysts, but an experienced psychotherapist knows how to ask such questions, checked. It does not hit the eyebrows, but the eye, as they say.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №137763
 12.01.2017
Not forgotten golf

If only an air cavity is made, they will not weigh too much and will stand forward in all circumstances.

Helium, helium must be filled - even the posture will improve!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №137762
 12.01.2017
How not to fall asleep on a very boring couple?
XXX is play? The book?
YYY: I went to adult music school, and there was such a subject as music literature. On this subject we were told about all kinds of classical guys and put their monsoon. I loved this subject, I was interested, but here’s the trouble – every time, whatever I did, I fell asleep about 10 minutes after starting this lesson.
I drank gallons of coffee, peddled myself in different places, tried to make some mechanical movements in different parts of the body, sat in uncomfortable poses, pressed my eyebrows with my fingers so they didn’t close, always sat on the first party in front of the teacher, so I was ashamed, asked my comrades to peddle me every five minutes, breathed deeply, held my breath, picked up water in my mouth, pre-slept for several days in a row than ever before, asked to air more frequently...
Ten minutes and I was like a baby.
Answer to your question, Katya:
and nick.

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