Today I was killed by one girl" - I had to change the connection settings to the service program
I explain to the entire cabinet immediately, we get to the fact that you need to add to the IP address a non-standard port.
I say: "after the number 150, we put the double...", it begins to remove 150.
I say, "we do not remove anything, but we write the two-point". She says “Aaa” and recovers 150, adding two more zeros to it.
I say, “not two zeroes, but two points.” She says "Aaa" and removes the extra zeroes, writes two points.
I say, "not two points, but two points". She says "Aaa" and writes a double word.
Accountants are easy.

I had a dispute with the navigator, until the runaway was done. So I do not use.
YYY: I just changed my voice to a man’s, now we don’t argue.
HH: Was it possible?
yyy: Now I felt the need to clarify that the voice changed in the navigator.

From Habr.

by Akalenuk:
Programmer and scientist. For computers about twenty years, from the very childhood for more than a month and a half from the monitor did not leave.

I would open a cafe with vegetarian food. So, to immediately and the halal, and the coat, and the zoo. No alcohol but with a separate balcony for smoking. Not that there would be such a large demand, but there is no offer at all, so I think it would be a success.

In fact, I am not a lover of vegetarian food. Not even an amateur. I can’t tolerate tofu and soy these substitutes. I hate practically. On the other hand, after twenty years of programming, I don’t really like people. In principle, it goes out once in a while.

The engineer sent for agreement the schedule of working days for the coming year, indicating that we are working in 1917.
Answer of the manager: "In the first quarter work more carefully, there is not a very historical year".

xxx> what did you say?
Yyy> There was a lot of noise and alcohol.
yyy> I didn’t hear what I said

Today, as a programmer, I noticed a service in a human being working in the background.
Imagine an electric car approaching the Kursk station. At the window deep sleeps a girl who goes out on the Kursk. Next stop "Kalanchevskaya" and if the girl sleeps and goes out on it, it will be unpleasant. And before the electric stops, there is a broadcast sound package. "The next stop is Kalanchoe" The background service in the girl's head finds the "Kalanchevskaya" subset, and sends a priority signal to wake up. She opens her eyes and with a sleepy look tries to match her location with the received message. Loading to the end, he sees that station! = Kalanchevskaya and comes out of the electric drive.
P.S And the RJDshniki good, never thought that the announcement of the next station before the electric stop at the current have such a profound meaning.

What is wrong...?

The evil administrator sits on a color printer to print on measure. Without him nothing.
And since not everything runs in the distance, it is often absent.
The girl suits. It is thinking.
Is there a printer here? not there.
What should you do to make it quickly and steadily in place?
The programmer sitting next to him shakes his head:
Reset on the server.
As usually happens, the administrator immediately materialized, and the phrase was heard, the man only miraculously did not grieve.

The method works... no need to press, enough intention...

I bought Polina Flowers.
The flower eaten the same night.
Three old socks
Two pieces of cover
My own red pot.

The Art_Arts

xxx: there was a story with us in the universe, when the grandmother did not pass the diploma, but did not pass the exam.
Prepod was without one eye, and she came last. He had already wanted to leave, and here she gave:
At least look at one eye.

It seems that if an alien who has secretly arrived and well disguised himself as a landlord, will write here with good, practical knowledge about how to properly, for example, "pull the Marlesian tripeas", then there will also be some local sad thing.

M'aarlezuyan, you mean that?

One day I sat on Instagram and looked at the photos. I liked the pictures of a girl’s cake. All photos are bright, bright, the background color of the photos harmonize with the color of the cakes themselves. I will note that I know that special wallpapers are sold for these purposes. Well, in general, it looks great and there is a dialogue between us:
I: This is the approach to the case! Even the backgrounds are picked up specifically under the cakes. The Respect!
“Thank you very much, this is just a wall on my balcony.

Typical of Omsk:
Zzz: Tell me, and you are not afraid, the citizens will gather in a crowd and burn you?
XXX: Of course not. We cancelled all routes on which they can reach the city.

I remembered the army case.

I went into the kitchen for the first time.
That is, we are sitting three and in front of my bathroom plates-cups for the whole shelf (thousands of people).

And here Grechishkin begins to spoil anecdotes. Of course, he was washing too.
The anecdotes at first seem ridiculous.
The car charged. It turns one, immediately begins the second or third and goes on in non-stop mode.

At the end of the second hour, the hysteria with us ended. My dishes and crying.

Who has never understood what the movie matrix is about?

Yyy: It is not necessary to take any chemicals on the street from an unfamiliar Negro.

xxx: When I was cancelled finlepsin – it was so much happiness... But it turned out that the walls in the hallway were really curved, and it wasn’t glucose, as I thought under the pills)

I lived in my apartment number 11. After installing the homephone, all the garbage homephone traffic went through me - because it is so convenient to press two units! Postcards five times a day, couriers and collectors to neighbors, various sectarians - all dreamed that it was I who opened the door to them. Once even a local requested. At the end of the day, I was so upset that I started to shut off the homephone.

As it is fashionable to say, I will open up the universe to you.
You had to call the company that served the home phone and ask to reset your number to any other non-existent in the entrance. Friends, relatives, pizza suppliers and others can tell this, and whoever does not need to know, will not know.

(Written by the girl):
Santa first looked into my list and gave me a chain saw. The pile gently pulls out of the bag with the inscription "Lady accessories".

It is believed that the universe is expanding and the distance between all galaxies is increasing.
But why is it then written that the Milky Way is moving in the direction of Andromeda, and there will be a moment when these galaxies will collide?

>>>>
We explain:
Imagine mosquitoes sitting on the surface of a balloon. The ball is inflated, the distance between the mosses increases, although they themselves do not move. It is a model of an expanding universe. And now let each mole roll somewhere (because galaxies still move in space). If the mosquitoes float faster than the ball, they will easily climb into one point and collide.

The terrible mystery of humanity has been uncovered. All humans are polygamous by nature, not "masculines". Both genders. For primates, this is evolutionally beneficial. Moreover, polygamy is not in “being on the right-left side”, but in the fact that if the partner died or broke up with him, then you can find a new partner, and not keep the labyrinth loyalty, widowed at twenty-five years and lived to eighty.
Changing one partner for another if the other is more suitable is a manifestation of polygamy. Fucking all his friends behind a partner’s back is a manifestation of ordinary hypocrisy. From the notorious nature, both can be equally inherent in both sexes, just women are less inherent in CULTURE, girls are raised stricter in this matter, hence the myth of female non-polygamy.

to this:

The other is most angry:
Coffee - Coffee
Cappuccino – Cappuccino
And in latte, blatht, what hher two "t"?

Later to borrow. In early borrowings, double consonants were most often lowered if they were similar to single ones: coffee, address, attribute (p. coffee, address, attribute) In later borrowings, they tried to observe writing from the original language. The only exception was the letter "f", which is not commonly doubled: traffic, office (traffic, office), although there are words with a doubled F - effect.
By the way, the Ukrainian language has preserved the tradition of not doubling the consonants in borrowed words. Double consonants are used there only in ancient Slavic words (Žiття, Pranie, Wedding, Zaporizhia, etc.) Where they really go.