Does your calf want an iPhone but behaves like a sheep? It is Huawei, not the iPhone.

I read the recent story (https://www.anekdot.ru/id/1220823 ) and decided to share it.

I worked in a large holding. The companies we had were very different, including a pair of trailers (one of them is the official dealer of the most famous European brand). Clearly, the masters there worked a variety of professionals. Bodybuilders, electricians, aircrafts and, of course, motorists. A good master, he is always on the weight of gold, and a motorist, especially.

We also had one, Medvedko (all names / surnames have been changed), an exclusively literate man. As from Asus. Already in the summer, for half a penny, but there is still dust in the powder. Combes he did not crack on the Nepali flag, he also did not issue a five-year-old at four, and in general, he did not work quickly, without excessive turmoil, calmly. On the other side, you can say, even slowly.

On our Ramson, like probably everywhere, there was a scourge. By the way, 34% of the work in closed orders went as payments to blinds. In my memory, I may not recall that Ivanych (he is Medvedko) would have the largest output and, accordingly, the salary in a particular month. Yes, he was always in the top five leaders, but he was not the honorary number one. On the other hand, if on average for a year to look, he left all the Stachanovs and Zagladovs far behind.

But the main plus of Ivanich is that he was a wonderful partner and mentor for young slugs. He explained, taught, shared and helped. In a word, he educated. He was treated with great patience and understanding. Not from the top down, but as an elderly companion. Very rare quality these days. For two years Ivanovic worked in a pair with his son, removing from him also a very foolish master. At the batin level he did not reach, but nevertheless, became a very decent speaker.

Then they threw up and said, “Ivanash, it’s time and honor to know, share your experience with others.” Especially he did not oppose, and began to pick forward boys into his partners. Not green newcomers, but those who already knew something, but who were far from the status of real masters. Who for six months, who for a year.

So, we had a very glamorous guy in the reemzone, Andryucha Bogdanov. He was a little, somewhere 23 or 24, I don’t remember right now. This is the man whom God kissed. A talented guy, he felt the car very well. His San Sanich, our chief, who commanded the raiders, dug somewhere (he had talent, the cadres are good to find). Andryucha was a little, hardworking, but also had a good character. The soul of the company, I can say.

Ivanovic immediately noticed his talent. I treated him, almost like my son. And I will tell you, it went very literally. But the most interesting thing is, obviously, the salary. Medvedenko with the company was always stable, but for Andreika, the work with an experienced master was expressed in a rather significant rise in well-being. The young man was a whisper, so the bear advised him everything:
You, my brother, do not hesitate. Valk, valk, all will be right.

But, unfortunately, with Andrew it did not work for a long time. As long as he worked in a pair with Ivanych, everything went perfectly. For 7-8 months, he and Ivanych worked, learned, soaked, and felt that he could do more. I asked to work myself. An unusual request, I have to say, motorists usually tick in pairs, but respected (I don't know why the chief of the remsons allowed it). Medvedenko was upset, felt that early the guy leaves, not all the knowledge passed on, but in general they were well separated. Well done, without insults. Ivanovic just said:
Andrei, you don’t get all the money. Do not lose your head. A lot of money, big problems.

Immediately I noticed, I stepped Andrew on the mountain, and he stood. No you, outdoors, smokers, longer sitting at lunch. In the second month of independent work, he closed several large orders. The head of the remzone calculated, so he had to pay 230-240 thousand. And now it’s not bad, but consider, then in the courtyard, for a moment, it was the beginning of 2008, so it’s big money. I was given a salary certificate as a signature, and I was stunned.

The Seven says:
What should we do? Man has earned. For garlic, you have to pay.
He in response.
I need to, but I am afraid. Experience suggests that a guy will get rid of such a profit. Money, of course, we do not get rid of it, but let’s, not all at once. We will pay half, the rest later when the production falls. I am afraid.
A risky decision. I hear the fucking fucking. I say.
It is under my responsibility.

Well, paid Andrew half, the second promised later. Also, by the way, a lot went out. But, as I thought, the bull rose. Let us talk, tell us:
Tiger meat is not. The bourgeoisie offends the proletariat.

The spirit of Andrew did not fall, the next month, worked about the same amount and demanded everything at once, plus debt. To reject it is somehow inconvenient, especially on the rack, the team is cohesive, everyone knows everything right away. The shooting in the posture was, "we'll lose the guy and lose," but I hardly broke him. have paid out.

The boy mocked himself, the girl appeared, the shirts. Friends came from nowhere. I noticed that Andrew was drinking. No, not at work. There is no problem with quality either. It works two or two.
- Go to the bathroom, on your legal holiday, I have the right.

Well, the matter is young, "wipes up, everything will be the way," we think. Everything would be fine if it weren’t pants. The crown has appeared, but no one can break it. Ivanovic tried to talk, but there was no conversation. No, don’t think bad, Andrew wasn’t rude to him, nothing like that, he just didn’t get rid of it.

The third month is the same. Production is crazy. Andrei is just a Hulk.
Have talks,
I can’t do that. Who are you all? Loaders and Unemployed. I will rest, come back from vacation, show you how to work.

I went to Turkey with my girlfriend and new friends. Excellent hotel booked for everyone, acki Rockefeller. The river flowed. There was a service manager with him on vacation, so he said that Andrey did not dry out on vacation. As he started on the plane before the departure, he never stopped. To rest like this.

He was brought back to the tomb. Banally, one night I broke over, decided to sink, to dive into the swimming pool from the run. On the drunken bench did not take into account the banal fact that the pool on one side is small. Injury is incompatible with life.

His mother came. People say black from sorrow, I thought this phrase was like this. It turned out, no, really.

Andrei for the last, part-time month, to pay about a hundred thousand remains. We paid her everything, plus I pulled out another 120 pieces from the top in the form of help. This is to reassure the conscience, although what there is, reassurance.

Unfortunate and very offensive. The guy kind. and talented. I could be a great master. If not alcohol. And funny money.

Sevka was right, the acquaintance of human souls. Unfortunately, there are such people, they cannot pay a lot of money, even if they deserve it. They are fooling.

And Ivanovich probably was right, the valley needs, the valley needs. Big money is big problems.

Russians will be allowed to collect algae after storms. Popper is like popper: yesterday the valley, today the algae. Life is going on!

Xxx: One day my mom asked me to grind the carrots on a Soviet meat machine. When I started it was hard, the pen didn’t spin and my mother cried that I was weak. After an hour of mowing about three kilograms of carrots and simultaneously pressing a glass of juice, I went to rest because my arm hurt. Mother grieving approached the meat machine and began to spin it but could not twist it. When I removed the meat mower, I found that I forgot to put a knife and I pressed the carrots through the meat mower for an hour without a knife.

This is what it means to cut without a knife.

The human hearing is interesting. “Give me!” Repeat loudly several times. “Take” is enough to whisper once.

A acquaintance said:
I live in a fairy tale where a father had three sons. Two are wise, and the third is not of this world. Instead of my daughter’s sons. Two seniors (beauty, smart and medalist) grew up and chose typical female professions - one studies for a psychologist, the other graduated from MGIMO, speaks freely, reads in several languages. The boyfriends are running.
But the younger was distinguished - an outstanding at school, the "soul" of the class unexpectedly after the 9th went to college in the specialty of "metal processing", received a red diploma, now works in the factory on CNC machines, and parallelly studies in his specialty at a non-residential level. And recently excavated a welding machine in the barracks at the country, uncovered her father to teach her to work on it.

P.S At the same time, it cannot be said that the youngest daughter is a feminist or something like a man. She wears dresses, uses cosmetics, shoes on clothes when she goes on the street, boys look around, swallow saliva, get married...

By borrowing money, you buy other people’s problems.

My husband’s friend is Pasha. Such a special companion. A few years ago, he told me how his parents chose his name. They bought a list of names and decided that the list will be read, and what name the child will react to - so they will call it. The baby cried by the name of Pavsekakiy. The parents scratched the tail and decided to call the nearest more decent. He became Paul.

After this story, many things have come to their place. Because this known man, though written by Paul, is indeed a Pavsech. This name is fairly suitable for him.

Yesterday I walked right in the center of the city. And it’s not funny, a healthy man put on full pants. And the thing was so, I walk on the street, I don't touch anyone, and here I wanted to pierce. And on the street, and in the frosty day, God Himself commanded to give copots. And I especially like this matter, to give gas, I am a mastiff in this matter. When I allow gases at my neighbors' house, the air pressure is extinguished.

So, and I decided to run. Pernul, when he pierdled, already realized that he had pierdled his own. I’m standing in my pants and I can’t do anything about it. Gammon himself climbs without even asking me for permission for this process.

I’ve always wondered why when you’re serrating at home, you’re serrating quietly. I squeezed out a gram of a hundred, and the butt once, and cut, then turned the page in the newspaper, ran through the headlines and again the portion of the catch out. When you look at the pants, there is no talk about any portionary calupressure. The ass opens and climbs. And the ass opens so wide that I have the impression that she, without my consent, participates in the competition "cut up a 30-cm-diameter slope and win a mobile phone." I wonder if I have a cell phone in my ass.

I laughed at my spells, seriously. I am standing, sweating, the very center of the city, to the house as to Moscow on my knees. I stand, and I try to find a way out in my head, something to do. Walking for three hours, and this with full cowards shit, this thought cut off immediately. Then, pretended - on the street frost, let me think I will sit on the bench, fucking frozen, and I will then be in the subway, and so I will run to the house. I sat down on the bench and sat in my ass while it was warm. And here's the idea, if the shit in the cowboys freezes, the eggs will also come in a kajak. I even got sick of that thought. He got up. People are walking around me, they see that I am thinking about chatta. I am standing and can’t understand. Then a genius thought came to me. I will go to the entrance now, I will go to the elevator, there the cowards will be removed, the ass with them will be wiped out, and I will go home quickly.

I go to the entrance and call the elevator. I am standing, and fucking already cooling the beginning, the feelings, let’s say directly, are not beautiful. At the entrance I understood another thing, it really smells like unwashed cattle from me, and it smells very strongly. The elevator arrived, I entered, I pressed the button on the fourteenth floor, and with the other hand I stretched out my pants, well, so that time would be enough for the elevator to arrive. The doors began to close and here a cute creation of the female floor enters the elevator. Shame on the writer.

You are on the 14th floor and I am on the 13th.

Well, I’ll walk with you and then go down to the floor. Of course we’re going to eat, I just pressed the button, I thought, sticking my pants.

The elevator went, and I was all, the noise in my head, my back was sweaty, and the shit had completely cooled.

And I think the smell in the elevator started very strongly, because this creature looked at me somehow strangely. And I was freezing, like it should be, I didn't joke in the elevator and it's all here.

And the fucking writer, somewhere on the 10th floor of the elevator made us a great reverence, said goodbye to us, and the light went out. I almost got angry again. The elevator is stuck.

Is the elevator stuck? The girl asked.

I understand that yes, I pretend to be an intellectual. And I think what to do with my shit and my dirty ass. Something must be done.

And then this thief, presses a button, and begins to talk to someone, call the address of the house and ask for help. I imagined that the monters would come, start taking us out of here, asking why it smells so bad, I wanted to fuck even more. It was dark in the elevator, but the eye was shaken. And then I realized that while it was dark in the elevator, it was necessary to quickly take off the pants, then remove the cowards and quietly put them in the corner. And when the lights are turned on, she will see the light out of habit.

I stretch up my pants, scratch things so that even I am scared.

- What are you doing? she asked with a heavy heart.

- Yes, I arrange more comfortably, wait a long time - and I drop my pants myself.

What is that smell? she asked. I really barely cried out that it was I who was cried out on the street and therefore smelled shit sho writer, but I give another:

- Yeah, the bastards are in the elevators, do not breathe - and I have completely removed my pants, I am standing in the elevator in shameless trousers. I thought that the shade would turn on the light, the girl would really give an end to what was seen. I have nothing to do, I continue to work.

The virgin began to swallow her saliva very loudly, apparently she was also scared.

And I scratch things.

I think about myself, like to catch up and quietly remove the cowards. Imagine what the smell would be.

“Man, you don’t hurt me, please don’t touch me,” the girl cried out.

“Well, you know, in my mind, I am the father of two children, I go to a comrade on an important question, how could you think of me like that? – I replied confidently, and I began to loose the cowards from the ass. It smells like it smells like it smells like it smells like it smells like it smells like it. It does not smell like in the toilet, it smells so that the flies still lose consciousness on the flight, then another week in resuscitation. Devacha, too, felt something wrong, began to sneak quietly in the corner.

- Stop you, I will not touch you, I say, and the cowards themselves have already ripped off their ass, and I think, how can they be removed from their feet so as not to fade in shit?

The virgin, in my opinion, has gone by the brains in general, is sitting dumb, sculpting and chatting, probably praying what thread she reads. The coward has lowered his knees.

“A man... a man,” she cried, “please don’t kill you,” and go on so stupid.

- Yes, I need you, I say, with the very problems in the throat, you gave up on me.

I lowered my trousers just below my knees, and I really understand that my pipe is full, my legs in the shit, my ass in the shit and the smell, until my eyes tear.

The virgin, in my opinion, from the smell was finally fucking.

You, you, you are... she’s melting.

"Why do you, you, stand calm, I tell you someone joked, I see I entered, here it smells.

The Virgin sat on the floor of the elevator. I almost lost consciousness from my smell.

But on the other hand, I understand that we cannot delay, either now or never.

Shortly I bended, removing the shorts from one leg. On the floor of the chatt flapped, in my spells it was a coward of cowards. The virgin in the corner is just washing like a cow.

I got caught and removed the cowards from the other leg. I was so relieved, half done. I stand with the cowards in my hand and think in which corner this crap is sitting, well, not to throw a coward on her head, and not to get on her own pants. He listened, ah, he sits opposite, so in the opposite angle you have to aim.

The whole shit went unnoticed. The light turned on and the elevator went.

When my eyes got used to it, I realized that it was not the case with the girl. Her eyes are like fifteen-inch monitors, her mouth is open, her hands are hanging, her mouth is like a fish, shorter, I think, the fuck, the tower is shattered by terror. And here I understood. Picture in the elevator. I stand underneath the belt naked, all in the shirt, in the hands of the coward with the shirt, and I look at the girl. She shortened another five seconds with her mouth and stumbled down on the floor. Everything, I think, was gone, I still lacked the helmet in the lift.

Decided not to waste time, cowardly his ass and his legs wiped out. I wear my trousers and stand as an honest citizen, waiting for my floor. On the floor a girl, probably dead, in the hands of a coward with a man, what I held them I don’t know.

When the elevator arrived, the girl was still alive and lay on the floor. I thought it was awkward to leave her in the elevator in such a state, and I pulled her upstairs. He placed his trousers carefully under his head and ran out of this house.

I can’t understand what [CENSORED] she was so afraid of.

After all, when it smells like a shit in the elevator, it means that someone is crazy, but if it smells like a shit, you can be scared here, they will fuck, although I don't see anything terrible here.

And yet, I squeezed your coat a little, and wiped your leg on it.

On Mondays, the alarm clock is silent. It’s a weekend, shit.

I live in Toronto. My friend works as a project manager in a small construction company. Call to talk. I hear a rather thoughtful voice, asking, “What are you doing?” she (again thoughtfully): “I make a schedule of football matches...” At the same time neither she nor I are suspicious of the interest in football (I, for example, was not aware that the European Championship had begun). To my directly asked question “what kind of?” followed the answer: “To plan work with subcontractors.” My confusion grows, so the explanation follows: “To know which brigade when will not go to work. For example, the Italians have concrete, so no concrete work for the days when the national team of Italy plays, can not be planned, one shit will not come out. Who has the roof? The Portuguese. So no roof for this day, and if, don’t give God, lose, then for the next. And I still need to look at the edge of my naked eyes to be in the subject and maintain the conversation!”
I know very little about construction.

A French tourist in Israel wants to make a boat trip on the Lake Tiberias. The owner of the boat calls him the price, he quickly translates in his mind and says:
Five hundred euros! You are crazy!? to
But, Messiah, on this lake Jesus himself walked on the water.
Not wise, with your tariffs.

Xxx: a freezer with experience can show fractional numbers on fingers

Xxx: I once said I don’t have a PC, only a console. They wanted me to be healed and to die.



YYY: Well what, has he healed?



ZZZ: Dying

We arrive sometime on Saturday at noon on the red Solaris with my wife to the Lente.

I am after yesterday's influences from the morning a little "subsoft", so my wife is driving.

I say :

- Now I'm going to jump in and buy something to chew up, wait for me here before entering.

I jump into the "Lenta", I quickly go to the stalls with alcohol. I throw a beer into the basket for myself, well, and so as not to hurt my wife - champagne, kr. Wine and water for the evening. It all goes to the box. I flew out of the exit. I see the red solarium. I open the passenger door, spit on the chair, grimpe a bag of alcohol, and say:

They chased!

A woman’s unknown voice:

Where to? ? to ? to

I, without turning my head to the left, having assessed the situation that the torpedo is not mine, jump out of the cabin and see that my car stands further in front of the entrance, without turning, I run away, but I hear:

and man! Where did they go? ? to ? to I agree!

...

and ah! It was a long time ago, I was already divorced, but, woman, if you recognized yourself, you needed to scream louder then, and even better - you needed to get stuck in the bag and not let go! ...

xxx: There was a "psychological" test in the class so in the seventh, the most remarkable question - "Do you trust your parents?"

The test is anonymous, of course, and that’s all.

I warned my parents in the evening that I had put a crack in front of the "I don't trust" point because it was obvious that anonymity was deceived. Approximately a week later, they gather an emergency parental meeting, asking both parents to attend (if possible). And with a dramatic whisper they read a list of children who do not trust their parents.

It is genius! Does the child not trust their parents? Well, let’s not trust the school! And we will also cast the ground for the scandal at home, then he will definitely start to trust his parents! That’s how it works, I tell you.

You have to convince him that it is his fault.

Bad power is harder to re-elect.

He worked with the dealer of one Japanese brand, the director - brother of the 90s, who became regional oligarchs.
May - July 2009, in the country the rise, cars are flying, from one car show a month sold up to 380 cars. The margin is more than 20%, money is a river.
In the body shop line one and a half months ahead. 2 brigades, working for 20% of the cost of the norm - hour, according to the schedule of 2/2.
The men can and want to work, on their own initiative come to work with the bedrooms, after the closure of the workshop work until 3 - 4 nights, then sleep right in the workshop until 8 in the morning, and again in the fight.
As a result, an unprecedented increase in the profitability of the body shop, and the average salary for brigades is 140,000. Then the new "four" in the salon was 125k.

The time comes for the payments of the SP, the notice is carried for the signature of the General, and then it was broken. “The caretaker? So much money?! Fuck them, not for 140,000!” Attempts to report that they all work for 1/5 of working hours, and that each, having earned 140, brought the company 560 - are ignored. As a result, the verdict: to pay 80k, and in the future to establish this amount as a salary ceiling.

It is clear that immediately after that the “night shifts” ceased. At exactly 20:00 the brigade stood up and left in full composition. And by the end of the following month it turned out that 80k guys produced weeks for 3. And try to force something to do a master who knows for sure that he will not be paid for this work. At the beginning of the month, the car cost 3 days. After 20 numbers, from a week to two. Even if you suck. Everyone is doing something, turmoil, no one is sitting without work, but the repair is not moving. Yes, and I, as the master of the workshop, understood them perfectly, so I did not want to punish them completely.

As a result, a month after the wise decision of the general, the total net profit of the shop fell by 2 times. The director crashed and metal, but there was a second wave: rumors about a long repair flew through not the biggest city faster than the wind, and the people began to go to other auto salons. A row in a month and a half quickly dried up to 3 - 5 days. Following the clients came the master. Then well a lot where paid, and good bodybuilders were always on the weight of gold.
As a result, in 4 months, the net profit of the shop fell from 8.3 million to 3.1 million.
On Mondays, the General broke his hair out of his ass and metal thundered: "Where is the profit? Where is the sale of spare parts? Where is the product, where are the customers? All the fines! Cancellation of Cancellation! Cut the lunch! I will teach you to work!!
I don’t understand, a piece of shit.

I retired in August, when employees were leaving every day. The car salon survived, and still operates, but in terms of revenue is barely much above the threshold of repayment.

When will the delivery services make the paid option "Take the garbage together"?

Xxx: A neighbor often comes to his wife and constantly complains about the son, the sister, the price. I do not participate in these conversations, but my wife once asked why she had this negative communication. The answer surprised me, “If you compare me to her, you’ll love me more!“”

And after all, the right wife is not a comparison in favor of the neighbor.