bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №119932
 27.10.2015
(I will smell soon)

by Eugene :
25 years of madness.
Fuck that

by Sergey:
Nottingham
You are a teacher without three minutes!))

by Eugene :
My father at 25 had two sons and a brother.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119931
 27.10.2015
I did a good massage, a slender minette, and there was such sex that my browniche never dreamed of. Even talked spiritually, it turned out to be a higher education in psychology. The question is, what will I do on Friday?

Buy a girl because you can’t find a free one that doesn’t divorce your grandmother and is cool with you in bed. And others can. Don’t be jealous as long as you have money, you have enough of a prostitute.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119930
 27.10.2015
A guy with strictly distributed expenses, you’re overwhelming. You spent 10,000 on a girl (the rest of the story is on yourself), and judging by the text, it was more an exception than a rule. Another thing, why do you date a girl with whom you don’t like sex, and dating her is so boring that you are forced to entertain yourself with accounting calculations?

And the last nail in the cover of the grave of your story: if your woman is a barrel, you are just treating her incorrectly.

Stories about “nearly monthly” and “head pain” come from women who are embarrassed to say, “I won’t have sex with you because you’re lazy for the kindness, and without a good degree of excitement it’s all absolutely not pleasant and even painful.” And the prostitute does not shy away to use lubricant, will entertain you with a penny to reduce the actual, unpleasant phase of sex without excitement, then for the same money will compliment you about sex, and about how interesting you are. This is all I can do - let your girlfriend go, let her find someone who suits her.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №119929
 27.10.2015
Axl: The most accurate description of contemporary art: The Italian museum cleaner took contemporary art for garbage and threw it away.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №119928
 27.10.2015
Aniramka: took the girl to the department.
I ordered her to make a report. She sat down all day and left the evening. I am still at work. She flies to the department: "Tomorrow I'll meet, I'll go to the client, I'm back to pick up the monitor."
I look at her: "Have you forgotten your laptop? No, I saw you go with him"
She said to me: "No, I forgot the monitor"
She really came to pick up the MONITOR from the comp, because there is information on her report.
and x :-[
She’s crying about why she’s fired.
Oh yeah what?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №119927
 27.10.2015
From a comment to the article that 50 grams of processed meat a day causes cancer... (in fact, only one of its varieties increases the risk)
XX: I can assume that the party and the government are going to make sure that citizens never have more than 50 grams of meat on the table a week.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119926
 27.10.2015
Advertising of some other pharmaceutical jerk: Aunt drinks whiskey, her head hurts. Then a big plan pill and tell me what a wonderful pain relief this pill is. Next: Aunt joyfully jumps in the jump, holding the children in her arms. Hi the stroke!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119925
 27.10.2015
Let me introduce myself, I am a “nude”, a “untouched”, a “nuchotys” little.
I am going to get a tattoo.

The Companions!

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №119924
 27.10.2015
The forum. A young woman talks about life:
The main thing is not to be under an experienced rabbit.
Mother at age:
I assure you, under an inexperienced rabbit is even worse.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №119923
 27.10.2015
26 of Oct. 2015 at 19:05
A rainbow eye will replace the password when issuing money from the ATM
Citigroup is testing new Diebold ATMs, which will allow you to withdraw cash using eye iris scanning.

As long as the finger is cut off: ((

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №119922
 27.10.2015
Russian pilots in Syria...
and hello! How are you doing today?
ISIS headquarters have just been bombed.
The Main?
The main thing is to fly to another continent.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119921
 27.10.2015
All you need to know about our country: Vladimir Ombudsman with his finger protested "hole" in plush eggs

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №119920
 27.10.2015
The fool expects to do a lot, the smart - what will happen.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119919
 27.10.2015
I am 32 years old, I live in Germany, I work as a railway dispatcher. I decided to write a story I heard from my colleague. Further on his behalf: I worked for a while in the home appliance repair service, calls to the house, repair of washing machines, vacuum cleaners, refrigerators and other stuff. It was often, we were met with missing male loving housewives, whose husbands disappeared in the office for days, preferring to lust their secretaries. Imagine — you knock on the door, and you are met by a young lady in a hoodie and nothing but a hoodie, not hesitating to demonstrate this. But we did not complain, we worked hard, Kunde ist K

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №119918
 27.10.2015
This year, the traditional German beer festival “Oktoberfest” from respect to the feelings of Muslims is held without beer and pork sausages.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №119917
 27.10.2015
She came home, began to change clothes and, according to tradition, stuck in a note with pants on her knees. After a while, my mother comes:
Why are the pants half off?
Because you are a pessimist?
- O_O
Optimists wear half of their pants.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №119916
 27.10.2015
You haven’t seen any real hipsters! In our universe, two people are wearing printing machines for lectures!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №119915
 27.10.2015
Go away, I will reveal a terrible secret to you! I may be expelled from the Olympus for this, but I will reveal to you the Truth.
On the Internet there are many services of the type "Questions and Answers"! on any subject. Books, movies, games - all of this can be asked there, get a clear answer right under the question and as soon as possible. And the main thing - not squeezing the resource not intended for this and not receiving the beam of diarrhea from the anonymous crowd in front of the monitors, which you have had time to get this fig.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №119914
 27.10.2015
Q: What is the chance to get a work visa?
UUU: This is a lottery, the chance is somewhere 85%. And the lawyers said that if we fly with this lottery - you can always go somewhere else, extend the student visa and try it next year.
XX: Ah, I’ll introduce you in 20 years. 20 lost lotteries, 10 degrees of master. The smartest loser in the US.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №119913
 27.10.2015
Continuation of the pickup:
by pa7r1ck:
Employers did not pay. I go to the forest to live.
by pa7r1ck:
Kossulou has swallowed and eaten meat today, and do not listen to the promise of this Kossulou, that she will bring you to bury on Friday, but does not specify on which day.

** by
It feels like he is eating his employees.
moookino # It feels like you are a cocoon.
superkex superkex #It feels like I am a Friday.
pukanovzrivatelb pukanovzrivatelb # It feels like you are all addicts here.
pallmallpro pallmallpro Feels like you too.
Appearance # There is a feeling that there is a feeling
livingONprayer livingONprayer #Calculate the feeling,
Appearance # The amount does not change from the reset of the assembled sensations
Acnk is enough.
Yuira Yuira builds a feeling like I’m a feeling that builds.
Poulson # feels folded

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