bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119492
 15.10.2015

...There was such Field Marshal Herman Göring, who shortly before committing suicide in the Nuremberg prison cell, gave an interview to an American journalist. He said no one wants to fight — neither Americans, nor Russians, nor Germans. You just have to scare them. They must be convinced that they are being threatened. And they must also explain that all who oppose war are not patriots. and all!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №119491
 15.10.2015
I saw a horror man here, called "Everly". When you already watch the second half of the film, you understand that when someone is about to pour acid into the main heroine's mouth, cut off the head with a catana or will commit any other wickedness, the villain will be shot in the last moment from behind to the head. But most of all I liked the way our proverb "Late to drink borjomi" sounded from the mouth of a Japanese, half-filmed sitting on the couch with a bullet hole in the stomach: "If the air is already spoiled, it is too late to squeeze the buttocks."

[ + 12 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119490
 15.10.2015
Well, you’ve achieved that your wife agreed that she was wrong, I don’t know how... Now you’re just selfishly instantly satisfied, and she’s unhappy...

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119489
 15.10.2015
This is what a 25-year-old can interest a standing woman 35+? Imho is nothing! Or even her brains remained at his sleeping level!

Dear man, and your brains are mostly watt. But in boys 20-25 the main is testosterone, which rises from the ears. I would find him an application. Your aunt, over 30.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №119488
 15.10.2015
Our future will be neither incredibly beautiful nor insanely terrible. The future will be promising!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119487
 15.10.2015
Is it like preferring one cat over all the others to call his twin brother Nevas?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №119486
 15.10.2015
On the work mail came spam, another shit on the topic of excess weight and all that. Bat elegantly cut the subject of the writing: "What to drink to smell..." And really)))

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119485
 15.10.2015
>> XXX: When we put her in a bowl something especially delicious for her, she can't immediately believe it, rubs her legs, squeezes around the bowl, anxiously looks in the eyes: "It's me? Couldn’t you be me?"

It is so she fixes for people the reflex of serving delicious foods: do you want them to be rubbed and appreciated? Add the food. Training works at both ends.

With respect and recognition, your basketball.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119484
 15.10.2015
tn: I bought a bag of smoked cheese to chew.
tn: Although not glutamate, a natural product.
tn: And on the back of the bag is a cow that says, “Eat all that is alive!”

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №119483
 15.10.2015
Let us rest from your will!

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119482
 15.10.2015
Compensation of salaries and premiums for three months to those who will not be re-elected to the next State Duma,... on the salary of deputies and their assistants is planned to spend 3.95 billion rubles.
That is, if their people do not re-elect back to the Duma, and for bad work will send them to the Edrenefen - not only the salary they need to compensate, but also a premium - the type of "lost profit"! It is cool!! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №119481
 15.10.2015
Where am I?
In Paradise, Muhammad in Paradise.
Glory to Allah. Is it true about virgins?
It is true, Muhammad. Truth...
Glory to Allah. Why do I have breasts and...?! to
You know, Muhammad, the virgins are missing.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119480
 15.10.2015
If you’re not a troll, you’re just a fool. This four-letter word contains the answer to the question why you are not named married. And also jealousy foolishness - it makes the situation worse. And, by the way, you also have a chance to become a 35-year-old old woman and get married to a young man! Be patient, there is a little left.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №119479
 15.10.2015
The latest generation of particle accelerators allows you to reach several trillion electron volts (Teraelectronvolt, TeV). One TeV is approximately equal to the kinetic energy of a flying mosquito.

So I can imagine two mosquitoes flying in front of each other and suddenly crashing! Blood, intestines, bosons... horror.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119478
 15.10.2015
and AAA:
I love watching Asian movies. Let us say, "38 parallel", "Punkt P", "Silmido", "Death and Glory in Chanda", "In the mountains of Taihashan" and so on.
One problem: the characters are good if in the middle I begin to distinguish... And in the "R-point" I could not at all to the very end.
Since they are there to the end continuously to each other wool and whistle: "Call your name and personal number", — I suspect that little that they do not distinguish one another, so are also numbered all.

and ZZZ:
20 years ago, when I worked in Singapore, it was a very serious problem. You walk through the hallway and think: have I greeted him or not?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №119477
 15.10.2015
Very peculiar looks the moment from the "Flying Ship", when Fun and Vanya for some reason play in bars, for the man who watched "Who put Roger rabbit" XD


[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №119476
 15.10.2015
This morning, before work, I looked out the window - the first snow is coming, it's time to put on my recently purchased socks!
I go out and my feet are cold.
I mock the Chinese for their crazed and cold material. When I came to work, my colleagues looked strangely. The boss comes in, looks at me and says:
Do you hear that you’re riding in the rafts?
I actually forgot to put my pants on my pants.

P.S I've never been so grateful to my work coat, which subsequently saved me from shame all day =)

c(Picab) Published

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №119475
 15.10.2015
The most heroic thing is that when you get into your head in real, you fucking reboot.

If you are not a Buddhist. They have a button "Load new game". It is called reincarnation.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №119474
 15.10.2015
Yandex will become the default search engine in Windows 10

Now when installing the screw, you will need to remove the box from the Yandex.bar installation.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №119473
 15.10.2015
Unfortunately, we do not have a radio station at the school. It would be great to dedicate a song to the office "You've Shaken Up!" Although, if you think so, this song would always play...for accounting...for personnel...for all departments in turn...with the transition to personalities...now it's clear why we don't have a radio station.

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