bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107409
 27.12.2014
Advertising: Electronic anti-nicotine calcium.
This shit is associated with a rubber woman.
Not just a rubber woman, but a rubber aunt.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №107408
 27.12.2014
Illustration from the life of a designer in the office and a designer freelancer

Freelancer: I just woke up.
Freelancer: Still in bed
Office: and I woke up, read the tweet, washed, dressed, cut the butters, heated the car, pumped the wheel, came to work, read the Facebook, read the contact, talked to the jury, talked to Max, made tea, sharpened the butter, responded to yesterday's messages, and wrote you a list of actions from 7:00 to 9:45 :)
Freelancer is Hui! OOO

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107407
 27.12.2014
Snow: but to start building from a helicopter site
Snow: a few more days like yesterday and here only a helicopter

A helicopter without a helicopter will not help you.

Snow: say in ancient times people some animals so turned into domestic animals.
They created conditions for them. They built barracks, made cakes. Animals often came and gradually used to people themselves.? to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107406
 27.12.2014
Q:...The most interesting thing begins just after everyone announced that Russia was defeated...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №107405
 27.12.2014
Differences between Facebook and LinkedIn:
[kaa]: You don’t want to spam your cat’s photos of people you met at a professional conference.
[torkve]: What can be professional contact with a person who doesn’t like my cat’s photos?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №107404
 27.12.2014
acquaintance on the network.

He said, “Why don’t you drop?and 😉
She: Because the requests to give a photo made me burdened at the time when everybody used an asshole.
He is an asshole?:S
She :...
She: Boy, how old are you?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107403
 27.12.2014
and nervous:
by Tom:
The Other:
The stupid:
and smart:
The Fifth:
The 10th:
This is:

Go all naked!

— — —
With the next!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107402
 27.12.2014
In the backpack a full bank of purple ink broke.
Was it without a bag? Did you wear white pants?
x. a box of sweets, plaster bags, tablets, a bottle of champagne, a newly purchased book...No. in black wool pants. Now in the whitener are lying.. hz what the result will be...
Black pants in the whitener?
H is It is blue!!! to
And I am only interested in the question, where does the man go with a bag of plaster, ink and champagne?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107401
 26.12.2014
On the bottom of every refrigerator released after 2005, there is a plaque with its factory price. You can look under the refrigerator and see how much you are heated by the seller.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107400
 26.12.2014
Denisslavin: The fact that we gave gay people the word “rainbow” is not so bad. How much worse was it to give to the church "faith", and to the government "the country".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107399
 26.12.2014
In the day of wrath:

In some countries, children specifically behave badly so Santa brings them coal)))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107398
 26.12.2014
xxx> I can read other people’s thoughts!
yyy> And I can read other people’s regular expressions
xxx> Okay you have won

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107397
 26.12.2014
to this:

Our country is absolutely not dependent on the dollar! The price of the dollar rose, the price of the dollar fell, and the prices rose again! “Russia, mother, what are you doing to me?! to

Well, they decided that the dollar fell due to the rise in prices and raised them again, all logically)))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107396
 26.12.2014
Is there a difference between HU and HH sperm?
Write to Google Tech Support about robberies.

There is in endurance, and in life, and in the speed of movement.
And, suddenly, there are dependencies of temperature<>resistance<>sex time before ovulation<>life<>pol; speed<>viscosity of the environment<>diet<>pol; and even length of the penis<>needed distance to the egg<>speed<>pol.
and----
Well, once all the patterns have been identified, the question to the experts: why is it still impossible to conceive a child of the right sex with the help of science and medicine?
And the joke:
A woman comes to the doctor on the announcement "Child on order".
I want a boy.
The doctor poured a glass of blue fluid.
White and blue eyes.
The doctor plays green and borders.
He looks like DiCaprio.
The doctor generally adds some incredible mixture and gives it to the woman. He drinks and falls. The doctor taking off his pants:
A boy, white-haired like DiCaprio... whoever succeeds, will succeed.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107395
 26.12.2014
"The Tale of the "Pearl", "Morozko" and the like were invented by Machechis. To perish on them all their lives, humbly waiting for the fairy to come and give everything.
In my opinion, this refers to the fact that Christianity was invented by harmful Jews in order to nurture slave submission in other nations.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107394
 26.12.2014
A country whose name is not known? =) is
====== is
Yes, this name is better to say in sight. At the end of touch.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №107393
 26.12.2014
The adequacy of a man is recognized only in the decree, and it is not possible to calculate the coefficient of his wisdom in advance.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107392
 26.12.2014
A story about female logic.
My mom in the bathroom, among others, hangs two towels from one set. On one in the center is depicted a relief drawing of the fingerprint of the palm, on the other, respectively, the feet. Type for hands and feet. Once, being in the guests, I went to wash my hands and was going to use the right (from my point of view) towel with my hand. What my mom, noticing this case, advised to take another, because for the legs, it turned out, was just that. To my question "Why?" was given a brilliant answer:
Because it is green.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №107391
 26.12.2014
My mother once told me and my brother to throw the old Soviet TV (such a healthy grave on the legs, who knows will understand). We peeled this dirty box before washing for half an hour, constantly stopping for rest. I hated that television with all my soul... Then I left for business. I go home in the evening with the TV in place!!! There is a happy grandmother:
Oh, you can imagine, granddaughter, how lucky we are! I go from the clinic, I watch - on the laundry the TV stands, well, just like ours! Yes, in our time, such a telephone was the dream of every family, people were completely eaten! She brought to us! We have two such TVs!
P.S We live on the 7th floor and there is no TV in the elevator. My grandmother was 75.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №107390
 26.12.2014
The boss saw on my workplace a line painted with a mark in 4 layers, a stamp carved out of slurry, and a "brass house" of stickers - now you can't lie every day that the whole day was very busy and didn't have time to check the trainee.( by

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