bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113752
 22.05.2015
xxx: I’ve seen a man live who first writes a sentence and then sets up signs of interruption.
XXX: I decided to stay away from him, this form of life came to us not with good!
YYY: Do you think it would be better, would it be the opposite?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №113751
 22.05.2015
In the dance chats in the battle chat people periodically write channels of the type "Glory to Banderas!" and so on.
I decided to stick and wrote "Glory to Ostapa Bender!" I repeated the experiment 10 times.

In 8 cases answered "Goed to ***** fascist!"
In the 1st answered "Glory to Ukraine"
And in one more "Glory to the chairs!"

When I wrote “Glory to Ostupa Bertha-Maria-Bender-Bey!” instead of a game, people began to find out who it was!
One man suggested that it was Stephan’s grandson!

Fuck, I want to shake in the eyes of these highly educated people.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113750
 22.05.2015
In Japan, a new extreme sport is Banzai parachutism. A man climbs an airplane for 3,000 meters, throws a parachute and after 2 seconds jumps himself. The goal? To catch up and catch a parachute.
It’s easy, but what if you run away?
This kind of sport should be introduced in China!!! to

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113749
 22.05.2015
I work as an administrator in a shopping center / hotel, and we have such a steep elevator with transparent walls that when you climb to the top, there is a steep view of the city (the building in the center of the city stands).
My boss just gave me a great job.
Music is playing in the elevator. Once someone (before me) pumped under 3 gigs of different sounds of nature there, songs of exotic birds and past noise. It turns out that this bunch also has a stitching of a tree and some marriage scream of an orangutan.
And now I need to find these "songs" and eliminate the naphid.
P.S There is also a folder of the "singing of the birds of the Urals" - I fear, as if the entire directory was not overwhelmed by the rigid and selective mat of these very "dikes".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113748
 22.05.2015
About Japan. They watched some show of them, the point was that the guy comes to visit the host, feeds him for dinner, baths, sleeps and feeds him for breakfast. There were three leaders, the guy chooses the best. So the homes of these women, very and very famous, which are on all the channels, carry expensive things, bags, etc. In one apartment, the bathroom was half-closed with a dishwasher, that is, you sit and at your chest you have a dishwasher, the toilet straight up to the bathroom itself. None of them had a closet, only a hanger on wheels, like in a store. One had a glass panel right on the kitchen table, under which all the jewelry lay. Another lived in an apartment nine meters + bathroom two meters. Nine meters is the entire apartment. Her things lay only on shelves like shelves, there were no chairs, only a mattress, a refrigerator and a hanger on the wheels. Central TV, very well-known leading, decent areas.
But I will also say that there are really large houses, only in the villages. Apartments in the city are cottage.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113747
 22.05.2015
Which clothes are more in your wardrobe – Belarusian or imported?
The comments:

Shpilka is 5%! Five percent of voters wore prevailing Belarusian clothes.

by Zaratystra2000:
They give form.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113746
 22.05.2015
The thoughts of a man when his wife walks around the house in underwear:
First year of life, I want it.
Five years later, he says he wants me.
In 10 years it will be hot.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113745
 22.05.2015
I have a colleague, he is 25 years old or older, but it looks like I took him for a student when I first met him. He was very complex in this regard, decided to let go of his beard. He looked like a school boy with a beard.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113744
 22.05.2015
Frequently encountered debt type No. 17325:
If a man is not satisfied with his breasts, it is easier to change a man than his breasts.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113743
 22.05.2015
Before the school you weren’t such a fool.
Give it up, I am the same.
Well... maybe maybe. And yet, a mouse push with an SMS notification is already overworking.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113742
 22.05.2015
From corporate chat:
News: A portrait of a gay designer was offered on a British note.
YYY: Here are the designers on the bills!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113741
 22.05.2015
Sexual education of children. You can’t tell them, but it’s not a problem for them. They will find out. I knew it at 7 years old. Listening to such a clip "I will not give and do not ask" on youtube and says to me:
I know what this song is about!
About what?
About the sex!
by 0_0
Don’t worry, my mom told me everything.
by Same?
I forced her!
That is how it happens. I almost drowned at the same time with 0-0.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113740
 22.05.2015
"They’re a man to change – generally like a nephug to do. It is for us, guys, to change a girl or find a spare girl - a global problem.

It is not so. For you, the worst option is Dynamo, for us, violence. It is not the same as sex. Where and how you can find a safe option for a mental interruption - I do not know. I want to.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113739
 22.05.2015
and so on!! The Russian Post!!!! to
At the beginning of March, I washed the child's jacket and everything was removed inside, no heat. I called my sister. She has a fourth on the approach, often give things and have nowhere to put them together. I live in Len Obl, it is on the opposite end of the city from me. I decided to send the jacket by mail.
March is over, then April is over, May is over... And the jackets are all gone. The receipt children played somewhere and followed it no way.
And then comes the notification to Nastena "Blablabla, your package was in Uzbekistan, there is no street with this name, no one has taken it wait back."
Now we rush that the jacket travels more than us and life is more diverse)))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113738
 22.05.2015
If you think you are wise, be honest about the matter of faith. No time, busy, other problems - don't joke about what other people gave their lives for.
++++++++++++++
On the island of Mumba-Yumba, a papua crashed from a palm tree, getting coconut. Can you joke about coconut?
One football fan shot another to death during a dispute about a favorite team. Do you want to ban jokes about sport? A man has given his life for his ideals.

I don’t know how you, but personally I don’t want to go back to those times when for a joke you could get a trip to a winter resort or a lead gift.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113737
 21.05.2015
I'm not the owner at all, but at least I't understand a husband who runs away from a wife who's underdeveloped to a mistress.
So the jealous wife of the fast shot, it is such a woman that only on the forehead remains to write: "Remove me at least someone, please!"

I have been observing the relationship of such a couple for more than a month (I work with a woman in the same office)
Untouched by her husband, her husband shot
This is the reason why he turned to the left, this is his explanation.
To prove to his wife that he is okay and to find a reason to blame her for having a mistress.

she endured, then expelled, fucking now apologize to the right and left
and her husband comes to meet her after work all squeezed and asks back

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113736
 21.05.2015
You may think of me as a goat, but now sex with the ex is much better than when she wasn’t the ex. It allows more, and initiative is shown more often.

all right, only because she became a scientist that you are not alone with her now
Or do you think she’s studying sex off-campus?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113735
 21.05.2015
Posts about Linux:
We’ve understood that you’ve learned about the Linux console commands, but that’s not enough, there must be humor.

Linux is like a wigwam. No Windows, no Gates and an Apache Inside

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113734
 21.05.2015
I went on vacation, but my plans broke. My wife has a cold (the spring is a bad time of year).
Raised an abandoned channel on YouTube (already some but 300-500 views per day), engaged in a favorite thing, entertained, with the child was in the fresh air, the company approached with an offer for a review, there is a chance to get sponsorship. All this time I regularly normally ate, slept, managed to earn money and was happy.
I came to work and I understand: "Something is wrong".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113733
 21.05.2015
“Go away, good guy! You’re gathering me out of that goat.” c) All the girls

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