bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113732
 21.05.2015
Xxx: The Blue... :'D
xxx: I am hysterical :'D
YYY: What is it?
xxx: In school, Igor issued a certificate "It is great to be healthy". Diabetic, fuck, gave out :'D

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №113731
 21.05.2015
You are impotent crying Marina
You are screaming, Anton.
The bisexual valer.
Check who is right here.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113730
 21.05.2015
A moment of racist humor.

Computers are not fooled:
Photographs of a black man, according to Flickr, should be assigned among other tags “animal” (animal) and “ape” (apes).

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113729
 21.05.2015
In one community, I had a nick “Lukawa cat.” In Ukrainian, it translates as a crazy cat.
I ordered means for joint purchases, goods, and we agreed with the girl from the forum to meet, so that she gave me all this matter. I wait, the king comes and so joyfully asks, “Are you a bulb?” I was a little lost, but I confirmed the guess. I went home and thought, and if she had not approached me first with this question, somebody could have been offended.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №113728
 21.05.2015
About salary.
Here a couple of times hinted that society itself determines the value of an individual.
We have the most valuable ball translators (foot, basketball... ball, tennis...), mouth singers, face showers (actors)... I think the thought is understandable.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113727
 21.05.2015
We have some benefits for many children without proof of income. And Arshavin, for example (and someone else there) is a multi-child – three children. So the girls at the MFC told - that they for the sake of interest on the base broke through and they have everything to the last point, each payment. I was surprised at that time - not lazy to write up to go 600 rubles per month with millions of income (not condemned, no, surprised), our girls laughed at me - they have each lawyer their own :D
And in the MFC, I was just pretended - they don't cheat a penny, and you with your poor income - there is reluctance to cheat, and there it is uncomfortable to ask.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №113726
 21.05.2015
Anonymous: Are you sure there will be no war in which they will have to participate? I am not.
hojja_nusreddin: That’s what worries me!
What if the war is tomorrow? We were cooked, we even worked with wooden rifles.
These are not ready at all!
They don’t know how to shoot from a wooden rifle!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113725
 21.05.2015
24 August 2012
Man from the elevator: I don’t understand at all why only mint, oh sorry, police officers were so raised? That is, people who teach children, in the field wheat is grown, people are treated, already other people?
Assel: What is not clear is that the police bowl has, and the handcuffs have, and also the machine in the bowl, it is necessary that such a man at the right time, was loyal. And the doctor has that, just a cyst, you won't get a lot of it. About teachers so generally silence, they even removed the instructions, generally the sense of raising disappeared.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113724
 21.05.2015
Have you ever had a moment when everything was fine?
No need to be dirty!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113723
 21.05.2015
In this country, faith remained only in aloe.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113722
 21.05.2015
Now my eldest second-grade daughter came from school with a story of high feelings that happened on an extended walk. The girl was sitting on a bench and her shoe fell down. Three boys rushed to pick up their shoes. Wearing up, wearing up. Egor was offended that he was not a galanty prince. Then he hanged on his daughter's foot, broke the shoe (a metal strap on the strap was bended - such a hero), threw the shoe away, walked behind it. But he was hindered by other cavalry, who also broke his shoes. A struggle was engaged. Forgotten princes shoes was given to her daughter by a classmate. My husband came and took my daughter. The daughter says she felt like a princess: the princes fought for her shoe, then the car (the man in the car) came.
I did not forget to emphasize the importance of style in clothes. The daughter often clothes like a boy: "If you were in a folded chair, no one would fight for your dirty chair."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113721
 21.05.2015
Qt and java, I don’t know.
YYY: The most frightening thing is that they are the same with Win95.
ZZZ: Even more frightening is that they are alone with a bunch of commenters.
YYY:  Judging by the pluses, you involuntarily initiated the census ;)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №113720
 21.05.2015
Feed ananas and cookies.
________
Here the ananas are depreciated, and the cookies are equated to the devil’s temptations (((

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113719
 21.05.2015
xxx: Surprisingly, Windows 8 doesn’t trust the Microsoft website.
YYY: I understand her.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113718
 21.05.2015
Serpus: Then, in case before kissing, I’ll have a snack...
Serpus is food!
Finally it is

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113717
 21.05.2015
To all those who believe that all women consider men only money and are forever dissatisfied with them in bed and upset by child conflicts:
1st I fully keep my husband for the last 5 years, we live in my apartment, during this time I bought him alternately 2 cars and gave birth to two children, in the latter case even without interrupting with work - and I am quite satisfied with how he deals with children and the house, even though sometimes I have to cook food.
2nd We are well together - and my frequent need for close communication, which even sometimes leads to his statements such as "let's go to bed" - probably, today even the rabbit mom is tired and will go to bed early. He was a little jealous of me for my favorite vibrator – so at some point in our relationship I broke up with him (with the vibrator) – and I don’t regret it! and :)
Three For children, it is a celebration of life. And even if sometimes you have to refuse to play your favorite fig for the sake of communicating with children - how can this irritate and lead to conversations about giving up sex?
4 is I support and sympathize with the lonely father, who is guided primarily by the interests of the child, but this is already a lucky one, I hope that the fate will be favorable and his life path will meet a suitable woman.
Happiness to all! It is :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113716
 21.05.2015
Fuck, I’m a aunt, married for many years, I’m 50+ years old, but I only hear about the fact that sex is needed by men and women tolerate it for the last 3-5 years. Where does this come from when there are multiple sources of information? And even if you consider that my life was in the Soviet Union, when we didn’t have sex"!... The Cheddar?
------------
You had love, and we had sex. It is believed that without the love of the sex-gothers only for the sake of money and plushes)))) I also don't understand where it comes from, maybe it's gay propaganda? Ladies and gentlemen don’t like sex, let’s stay together)))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113715
 21.05.2015
The link to statistics, or you open jobs, and there two-thirds do not rise above 30k.

Well, why, he may not lie. At one time, in 2012, when someone at the top raised the question that little university teachers are paid, the universities that they have a higher-average ZP. In our - 20,000 (while the ZP in the main mass - docents with degrees, vaccines and not, was 14,000 and 17,000 with a small - by the way, and now the same, and all the assistants in the area of 7,000).

The trick was in the details. The first was not calculated according to the ZP (which is what the famous lowest taxes of 13% are paid on, and the wage fund - from there, all kinds of interest funds are paid first under 40, and then the remains go in the form of the ZP, with which the NDFL is paid). And the second, as it became known later - our rector in the year of the ZP had for 5 million, and the pro-rectors, who were about 10 - in the area of 3, and the heads of departments of all kinds, who were under 20 pieces - for 1 million. This is the average ZP for 20,000.

Approximately the same goes for 50.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113714
 21.05.2015
Russian writers lack imagination. Here is, for example, a typical Hollywood thriller story.
A boy accidentally kills his father’s daughter with his mother’s gun. For the police, everything is extremely clear and the case can be closed, but here a sociopathic detective with a nervous tick enters the game, to whom, despite the protests, the boss gives a partner - a rare deadlock. The detective draws attention to the fact that the little boy could not physically shoot because the gun is very tight. Furthermore, in the course of the investigation, it turns out that the dead girl was drawn into a spy game - not long before her death she stole important information from people living in the neighborhood (who, it turns out, were Russian spies). Her father is an employee of the CIA, but as it turns out, he mysteriously disappears. When a detective approaches the puzzle too close, a hunt begins for him - pursuit, shooting, killing the foolish partner. As a result, he gets captured, where he meets with the main fool - the father of the girl (which is not actually his daughter). The father tells all his insidious plans (he is a double agent and stole information from the CIA for mm... China, and the girl learned too much). At the last moment, when GG is going to kill the detective, a partner-tupis appears, who turns out to be a secret CIA agent who mimicked his death, kills GG and saves the detective.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113713
 21.05.2015
A friend who works in a bank accountant says:
Recently on my question to a woman why she doesn’t want to pay through the terminal, she replied: I’m stupid, I can’t)

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