bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №112892
 02.05.2015
<Songwriter_Stealing> Is there a cat in boots?
<Wasko> I walk without boots
<Wasko> and a cat, not a cat
<Writer_The Thief> No... No...
<Songwriter_Stealing> need a cat
<Wasko> I periodically have a cat stating this
<Writer_The Thief> I understand her)))))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112891
 02.05.2015
I sit in contact, I say to my wife: Status look "If a guy invites you to tea with cake, then you are beautiful without vodka!")
Wife: Why did you invite me to wine with grapes?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112890
 02.05.2015
New in the Russian grammar!! to
From now on and forever, all the consoles with all the words are written separately!
Do not believe?
For the last month only on this site: "kiss in the wool", "drop down to the floor", "dating in the blind" (blind not against the fact that it will be a date?Not to mention the previously noticed all sorts of "more", "less", "more convenient" and so on.
Today is the T-DAM! The first place is held (attention):
... recalled his drunk dances on the tables and compliments to all ladies, pronounced in a confusing language, from recommended as very sociable..."

by Recommended!!! to

Who are you, not known? Cut off your name! By the way, he has been perpetuated as the name of the reformator of the great and powerful, of the red, etc. The Russian language!! (As you can see, I am already writing according to the new rules of spelling.)
Aftar, go on foot ischo!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112889
 02.05.2015
How do you plan to send millions of people to kill and die? It is necessary to come up with some high goal, which can justify any unnecessary.
****
When I read this, I feel the lack of elementary Marxism teaching in school. Friends, for thousands of years people have been sent to kill and die, without any ideas at all. A simple coercion and a promise of "three days to rob", for example.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112888
 02.05.2015
by 1776
First and second count!
____________
Uncle, the only meaning of your calling is that you personally consider more aesthetic aesthetic that of men than of women. I would fully agree with you on the question of "breast complexes" in women, but how badly do you yourself override your rightness with claims that girls with four or six extra gays (abstract as many!) are obliged to complex. and guys who "do not see cubes". This is the same idiotic complex as the desire to have more adequate breasts! Silicone should not be imposed by bad journalists, but the cult of wickedness imposed by the same journalists will be destroyed, oh!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №112887
 02.05.2015
He lived in 6 non-city large (more than 500 thousand people) cities of Russia. The salary of the courtier is usually 17-27 thousand. So 25 is quite a real price from the top category. Well, if your specialists are paid little, why would they not go to another factory? Or such a wonderful qualification with a profession that no-one needs to be angry, unlike courtiers?
___________________
I will uncover a terrible mystery: the castle, it is so different, and there, surprisingly, not all the cities are large.
And the salary of the courtiers in the best case = 1 PLN.
25 - 27 salary of professionals with discharge, towers, millers, CNC.
Average earnings in enterprises "dirty" - 15 - 18 t.p. to all. The amount does not change from the change of place of work.
Low-qualified rabbit - 12 - 14
And, please, do not drive into the depths of the castle, there and 8 - 10 is not uncommon.
Welcome to real Russia.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №112886
 02.05.2015
Last year, one of his colleagues was fired for drunkenness. He until the last claimed that all the doctors, and he at all none (although any employee could remember a pair of stories, like this "ni-ni" after corporations were loaded in a taxi in a state of full contact with space).

It has been six months, and then my uncle calls me: Somebody is arranging for us to work, said that you can give a recommendation.

In general, I remembered his drunk dance on the tables and compliments to all the ladies, pronounced in a confusing language, from recommended as a very sociable...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112885
 02.05.2015
For happy people, a TV is a piece of furniture.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №112884
 02.05.2015
I wasn’t a refrigerator, but I was the head of the refrigerator. Once upon a time there was a reconstruction. Somewhere in 2002. And on the roof of the building it was necessary to put a condenser from the shock freezing refrigerator. The principle is like a home air conditioner: one box inside, the other outside. The roof is 30 meters high and it is metal with a small slope. Stir to Rama. The "pioneer" raised the condenser, before removing the fans from it. I forgot to say. This thing is as heavy as it is expensive, even very. As he stood up, he broke up. But it went well. 30 meters on the roof. And here eight healthy men take this unit (there are specially handles for this - very convenient), and the extra, the ninth embraced the fan and carried ahead. Imagine the picture: Eight dark men pull an aluminum box (it is rectangular, and the top where the fans - on the cone - a carved pyramid. It is very similar to a tomb with a cover), one with a fan goes ahead... And here the most intelligent says, "Carlson is buried..."

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №112883
 02.05.2015
I pay a huge tax for my car spoiling the roads.
When will I be paid if my car is damaged?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112882
 02.05.2015
Again in the zoo:

The girl ticks two packs in my face: "Can I order such food, just so it's like this?"
I am :? (The right side is upwards)
Girl: "Well, this is what it was, this is what it was!"
I am :? (The left wing follows the right)
Girl: "Well, this is like this one, not like he himself!"
I am :!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Discouraged by such pronouncement, I stand and smile stupidly, unable to pronounce a word.)
Swindler: "You mean that this is in the package of this, i.e. One and a half kilograms.
Girl (happy): "Yes!"
I, turning back: "Thank you for translating from female to Russian"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112881
 02.05.2015
(A few years ago)
My mom and I play hockey.
What are you watching?
and hockey.
Who is playing?
and Czechoslovakia.
With whom?
Alone with myself.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112880
 02.05.2015
My friend gave me such a sincere compliment.
You say, you look so good that it’s crazy.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112879
 02.05.2015
Fairy: I have the paternity of Alexandrovna, my husband Alexanderovich. Well, we somehow did not pay special attention to such a coincidence, until one of our acquaintances seriously said - I wonder why after the wedding women take not only the surname, but also the paternity of the husband?
To my "you've chorned" and the insightful explanation that paternity is given by the father once and for all, he replied, "Why then did you change paternity after marriage?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112878
 02.05.2015
I feel like this program is 27 years old, and I feel like it is 5 years old!
Five-year-olds just don’t choose such a bright dress.
The five-year-olds choose the Soviet power and the planned economy.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112877
 02.05.2015
Once a box of "Klinsky" won the stock, I was called and told that the car would come in so that I could go out and pick it up. Quietly mothering (me, a disabled, walking to wash a beer box (in bottles!) On the eighth floor, the elevator does not work. They promised to deliver home.I go down... Behind the wheel of an action car a beautiful girl. I immediately forgot that I was disabled and remembered that I was a man who’t have a girl dragging a beer box to the eighth floor. After her departure, I remembered that I was not just a man, but a lazy and not the most stupid man, and called my friends. There was no need to carry the box to the eighth floor. The elevator was repaired, and I didn’t have to carry it.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112876
 02.05.2015
xxx: as I am rightly suggested here - the rise with the coup is not an exercise, but the ordinary political and social life in Africa.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112875
 02.05.2015
> Stop eating on the internet. You know well that theft is bla bla bla.

Copying in not theft.

If I sprinkled the apples from grandmother Manny, she would not have them, the apples would be smaller, the profits would be smaller.

If I copied the apples of Mania’s grandmother, she had the same amount of apples left, the profit was the same. (There is no unreceived profit)

Piracy is not a matter of theft but of convenience. And while publishers think they can sell me DRM content, with registration, spam and advertising, they won’t get a penny from me.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112874
 02.05.2015
Marinka
By the way
Life here gives me wonderful metaphors.
I went yesterday on a busy street, around a bunch of people, the sun, all the business. I think, I listen to music. I see people looking at me somehow. And I see, right in front of me, a man sitting on the sidewalk and crying!
Lovely
If I needed the quintessence of the last few days, that was it.
Okay, I go out in the morning, to go for a girlfriend. The mood is fucking, but I try to think positively. The type of grass, however, is green, the trees are broken up, dwarfs, heat, life is beautiful!
And in the thoughts of life is beautiful I see on the grass the bodies and menta around it.
Life, I understand you.
It is adorable.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №112873
 02.05.2015
Regarding the music:

Normal groups on their websites post their creativity in open free access, and people still go to their concerts. Tickets are purchased, the ball goes - win

Bad groups mourn about piracy, because no reasonable person will go to their boring creation at overpriced prices. the ticket even rub fast, the bubble does not go - fail

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