bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108209
 15.01.2015
1: you start to be fooled, you don't understand that the devaluation of the ruble does not affect the well-being of the population)
2: Effect of course. I have experienced a lot of such depreciation and I see nothing catastrophic in it.
1: well, get used to it, as if you were being bitten every day by a squid in the ass in a local shell, but the habit of putting the back of the mints is not something to be proud of, right?
2: You are visible. I have no experience in such things.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №108208
 15.01.2015
I uploaded music to the player: the sounds of nature. The noise of rain, forest, rivers. So I imagined that I would be sitting at work and feeling myself in the warm summer forest, around the noise of trees, throwing pebbles... But the very first melody, when I launched the playlist, turned out to be the sounds of the swamp!!! In the ears of the frogs and frogs are intoxicated, and what is terrible is swirling in the back. About where I felt, I will keep silent.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №108207
 15.01.2015
From a commentary on the news:
The rubbish erupted right into the garbage tank.
Cho with the Mint and his Car?

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №108206
 15.01.2015
Everything that doesn’t kill us is forcing us to change a drug dealer.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №108205
 15.01.2015
Anastasia
How do you get to know girls?
Dan
I find myself, for example, in the VK on a nice one, I go to her page, I look at interests and I closed my browser I removed the window I dropped the comps in the closed window!!!!! to

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108204
 15.01.2015
But in Antonov in the "sea, sea" generally recently only heard that he sings.
Waves of coastal waves
It seemed like the coastal bell was ringing.
When I was a child, I wondered what kind of vermischel was.
I think it’s not my mind thing. Warmishel is Warmishel.

by *****
Oh, and I was 16 years before I heard in the song "Stewardess named Jeanne, she loves mantles and desire". And I never got embarrassed and it seemed quite logical 8)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №108203
 15.01.2015
guys be smarter. Professionals pay an average of $100 per hour, why not professionals should pay more.
This is the same thing....
is correct. Greedy and senseless, go to the professionals, do not marry so as not to make good women unhappy and not to reproduce.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108202
 15.01.2015
She was expecting that someday the prince would knock on the door and say, “I love you!” However, sometimes the princes called, tried to enter without an invitation and said, “Hello. We sell a wonderful Kirby vacuum cleaner.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108201
 15.01.2015
XXX is:
It’s a basic skill!It’s like cleaning up!Everyone should know!

YYY :
To understand the calash is oh-henno.I just don't remember well.

XXX is:
Remove the store
Control descent
Then Shampoo

YYY :
not need
The hands remember.

XXX is:
well well

YYY :
only we did not pull the pen from the sample, because he, b**t, stuck in one person when assembling
XXX is:
E to E! He broke it! he broke it! he broke it! he broke it!! to
This man, drink the head.
Just touching the finger.

YYY :
No is
He was a worker.
He broke the calash and gave us p**dules.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №108200
 15.01.2015
On account of cats and cats. I work mostly on business trips, I only go home on weekends. So here, the cat has 4 bowl with fries (dry food, liquid food, meat and sausages), from drinks, and milk, milk for cats, water. When I come and make a sandwich with sausage (while my wife is heating dinner) this animal asks and takes the last. I asked my wife, is she asking you too? No, I think the cat rarely sees you and he knows for sure that you are coming to eat us.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108199
 15.01.2015
From a conversation between two colleagues that made the day:
...I explained to you...Fig knows why!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108198
 15.01.2015
gol> the guy wanted to name the coffee shop there "Express" so that everyone would have a mommy
gol> so I would go even further
gol> in the menu would make "delicious coffee express" 50 rubles and "delicious coffee espresso" 100 rubles
gol> and would watch for days how this hipstot for 50 rubles daily sells his ideals

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108197
 15.01.2015
It is much easier to draw a caricature of a prophet than to put a real terrorist in the mouth.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №108196
 15.01.2015
The witch

In Kiev, all the babies who sit on the bazar are witches.
by N.V. Gogol

My friend, Gena, went with his wife, Marina, to the country to the elderly, to meet the New Year.
They have not been there for three months, and during this time, the long-awaited squad finally opened.
Estacade is a good thing, but for the first time without a half-liter, you will not be able to figure out - where and when to turn it? In short, my friends were a little bit on the “meeting” and, of course, immediately rushed to the hunter, and as you know - the hunters before the New Year are especially fierce and ruthless:

Captain Snowden. Let’s get the documents and go, e-e-e, Gennady Viktorovich, into the patrol car, to design your ride along the lane of opposite traffic.

Gene, hopefully looking at his wife, got out of the car and followed the captain.
Five minutes passed, the conversation did not stick, the inspector wanted such an immense amount of money, which made him a virtually honest person. Gene, of course, as he could argue, traded: “Comrade Captain, well – it’s somehow too much. Fear God, you didn’t go to work for me alone.”
But the inspector made it clear that the bargain here was not appropriate and began mercilessly to get the pencil with the forms, as suddenly Marina looked into the door and said:

“No, no, Gen, go out, I’ll talk to him myself.

Gene breathed out relievedly: "Well, finally the heavy artillery arrived" and pleased to leave the car.
The captain, brushing his brush in his teeth, whispered and said:

Is that what has just begun? What do you want to offer me that your husband could not offer? Joke aside, go into your car and bring the driver back to me. He broke, and we will deal with him.

But Marina didn’t even shuffle, as if she didn’t listen to the captain. She sat down, carefully examined his face, then, without tearing away her gaze, whisked down and said:

Man makes his own fate, because his whole life depends only on his own choice.
“Woman, good already, I said, leave the patrol car!

But Marina did not react, but continued:

Do you know how smart people differ from fools? Only because the fools make the wrong choice. As they say, there is nothing easier than having a hard life. And you, Captain, are now facing a very important life choice.
Don’t worry, I’m at work. To force you out?
"Captain, if you weren't such a fool, you't have shot your beloved dog, it could still be cured, there were all the chances.

Captain Snegirev murmured with his mouth open, sat down a little and with a false calm in his voice asked:

How do you know about my dog?
Long to explain. I’m, as if it’s more understandable, an extrasensitive, a witch, a witch, well, or, in your case, a wicked witch. I know what happened to a man, and I see what will happen. And to you, Snegirev, I will give a free advice: - throw away your nonsense, invade before it is too late for the ulcer, chronic prostatitis and stop your pastures with the teens. Thou thou! The ugliness! This will not lead to good at all. You will become impotent.
How about your aunt...?
As well as the resuscitation because of the burned cognac. In short, man you are not yet quite finished, if, of course, you take the mind, and if you do not get married, you will end up as your poor dog, and maybe even worse.
You remember the saying of Zoo: “Be careful of yourself, be careful...”
Can you find out anything else?
- No, you can't, the free reception is over, and for the paid you have neither money nor health enough.
And now think and choose, Snegirev: - you will now wish us a happy way, and I will wish you good health and good luck in the new year, or - you are depriving my husband of his rights and I will wish you something completely different...?
Why are you so? Thank you very much for the conversation. Here, take documentaries, happy journey, all the goods and happiness in the new year. Try not to disturb anymore. Sorry for the delay, service.

P.S

I would like to cut this story on such a glorious, mysterious note, but it would not be fair to you, Dear Reader.
You can argue for a long time about the existence of witches, witches and extrasensors, but I have to say only one thing - there are smart wives in nature and Marina is just one of them.

The focus is that Marina's younger brother serves in the GIBDD in the rank of a starley.
In fact, Gene doesn't drink while driving and never jumps in front of the electric car, so Marina only twice in a difficult minute turned to her brother for help. This is such a hopeless case.
When Gene and the inspector went into the patrol car, Marina quickly called Brother:

But, with the coming, give it up! In short, we are now caught and pushed for a “meeting”. Captain Snegirev, from your kind of battalion.
The snow? Fuck, but not that. From mine he is from mine, but here I am not your assistant. We are damned enemies. Don’t even think she’s my sister. If he learns, he will deprive Genus of the entire coil, and also on me the "reclamation" runs that he tried, say, to pressure, hide a relative and all that. Well you understand. No one loves him, the ugly man. Sorry sister, I can’t help you.
Oh, it is bad how. Guess, guess, and you can at least tell me quickly about it – What? When is? What differentiated?
- In principle, I can, if necessary - this villain, you can imagine, recently shot his dog, instead of taking it to the veterinarian, apparently regretted the money.
And also he...


[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №108195
 15.01.2015
In the recruitment agency:
I am looking for work.
What do you know?
and nothing.
- The seats in the State Duma are already occupied, try football coaches to apply.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108194
 15.01.2015
No one gives the German sheep?
BBB: I will try to find out from acquaintances.
BBB: No one gives the German sheep?
BBB: I did what I could.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108193
 15.01.2015
by 16290
Factories are
________________
Milyon-ok, how do you with a life position "is meaningful only what is paid for a lot", sorry, wife for your own pleasure? He would know well, so he would be a prostitute and good money would be from the crowded widows heavens with a spade. Do not scratch? Finding your sex, only time and energy are wasted on it, no one but you do not need it. Admit, just for the sake of scratching your own HZZ in bed you lie down, ah-ya-ya!

Find in life at least something that would give you pleasure, and you will not go out as poison on people who have the aversion to receive joy from life.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108192
 15.01.2015
An experienced grandfather, on the day he is retired, calls the girls and the ambulance at the same time, and the ambulance never comes first.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №108191
 15.01.2015
Discuss possible ammonia leakage in the US ISS module.
1: As usual, everyone will be rescued by a Russian cosmonaut in ushanka and with a hook key.
2: who goes in, smells and says that it's just the sensor, and fucking on it

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108190
 15.01.2015
At the holidays only 1 day rested - customers fell, made a record revenue simply.
WOW: Something I don’t understand people, New Year’s all things=(
Oh wow, and that they didn’t eat olive at home...

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