bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103969
 12.10.2014
Discussing the motorcycle
--------

Rianon: I love modular, comfortable, safe, and you can eat without taking off
TermoSINteZ: On the go, at a speed over 200) Opened so, ate the butter.
Rianon: It’s you who didn’t try to drink vodka by jumping out of a parachute plane!
TonX: I think I know what to do next weekend

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №103968
 12.10.2014
I add :

If there’s a girl you like, invite her on a date, the worst thing that will happen is the answer is no.

Only if on the question: “Let’s go to the cinema on Friday?” you get the answer: “No,” be sure to ask: “A on Saturday?” and if not again, then “When can you?” for the final clarity of the picture. Suddenly she only goes to her grandmother for her birthday on Friday and will only come back on Sunday.
And then on the methodical test kiss... there is more or less true

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103967
 12.10.2014
I was given a pill to improve my memory.
I bought them.
I forgot on the drawer.
And then for two weeks I forgot to go back to the pharmacy and pick it up.

I really need these pills.

by Marinalevy

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103966
 12.10.2014
This country cannot be defeated!!! to
Changed the entrance door to the apartment - broke the home phone and the door bell. The JEK said that the masters will come on Friday before lunch. I waited for three days, no one. The call in the JEK killed!!!! One did not call the cell phone, the other called the phone!!!! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103965
 12.10.2014
My husband is sitting and crawling something. I ask what do you do?
at night in silent pencil.
I see, my daughter really brushes the pencil.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103964
 12.10.2014
The new motto of the car is: Lada, what the car should be
But my brain is persistently listening: the way a car should NOT be

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103963
 12.10.2014

I will explain:
to this:
to this:

xxx: Somehow it happened that the typical format for setting a task at work sounds like: "Here you have a brick, beetle and a flying mouse wing - do something. We need a result!"

We forge the middle out of the brick, put the foil there, cook the beetle with the wing in the resulting pot.

Where do we get the foil? and ;)
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He pulled off a piece of his hat.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103962
 12.10.2014
Dema: Yes, I’m not as afraid of the hoops as I am afraid of my scientist!
Dema: Their question "Is there a ch?I still know what to answer...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103961
 11.10.2014
The Historic:

In the Museum of Modern History in Moscow hangs a poster-agit "Why Russia enters the war" for 1914, at the price of 20 cops. for the people.
It sets out a map of the future of Europe, which each country will receive. Switzerland had to get several border alpine regions of Austria and Germany, so that the gentlemen going to their favorite resorts did not get to ordinary, affordable countries, but to a more prestigious Switzerland.
10 million died. of man.

In fact, Russia entered the First World War because on 1 August 1914 Germany declared war on Russia. Russia refused to fulfill the conditions of the German ultimatum on the abolition of the general military mobilization. A general mobilization was introduced in Russia in response to the fact that on 28 July 1914 Austria-Hungary, under pressure from Germany, declared war on Russia's ally Serbia.


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103960
 11.10.2014
xxx: More and more people want to print a poster on the A2 with the inscription "Oh my God, yes all back!!!" and use it as a decisive argument in all the dumb disputes in which I have to participate.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103959
 11.10.2014
was alone. I tried for six months. She spoke. I said "I want to!". Called in guests. I kissed and dressed, but no more. Half a year.
I was 16-17 and I was a virgin at the time. After a few years, I wondered what was wrong with me.
----------------
What is incomprehensible? Heaven, the guy (or his acquaintances) had trouble because of sex with a young girl, he was waiting for you, fool, to grow up.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103958
 11.10.2014
Fuck, fuck with your friends-huezons, fuck on debts, local forums or friends in a jersey, pay!

Probably one of the few remaining in this resource.
________
Odmin, kote, shredder, oiaebu, o_o

[ + 19 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103957
 11.10.2014
to this:

...I turn back and ask "what?" And he answers with a sad face - "This is a failure, there is Zhenya".

Just check which toilet it is going to.


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103956
 11.10.2014
Em... In fact, humanity has not yet defeated the herpes virus... and you are getting stuck with Ebola...

Ebola is very unpleasant.
Typically, viruses at a temperature of 38-39 degrees lose the ability to reproduce, and this gives time to leukocytes to find them and disassemble them into spare parts. (This is why a sick person has a fever.)
Ebola has adapted to survive in the bodies of flying mice, which during flight heat up to 42. That is, a human 39 for her comfortable temperature. That is, even if the leukocytes have appropriate antibodies to find and break down the virus – it will still be in the best case of the race who is faster – the virus multiplies, or the leukocytes kill it. And during this race, the human body will constantly maintain a high temperature in a futile attempt to stop the reproduction of the virus, and with a very high probability, a person will die either from the exhaustion of the body (a high temperature requires a lot of energy) or from the overheating of critical organs. At 42 degrees, for example, hemoglobin begins to break down, which is responsible for the transfer of oxygen in the blood... and to stop the reproduction of the virus in the body will need 45 degrees, if not higher...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103955
 11.10.2014
<...> runs, runs, and can’t take off – and falls down with a desperate hoodie.
= the =
It is urgent! Fast, fucking fast, fucking fast! When you stop chopping classics, your mother...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103954
 11.10.2014
The program I’m writing has begun to scare me.
XXX: I stopped understanding how it works.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103953
 11.10.2014
The more you know... in Italy the rescue circle is called "ciambella di salvataggio" - rescue punch.

A man on board! Give him a rescue pack!! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №103952
 11.10.2014
I will continue on the topic "On the fence too"
A deaf fence around the territory, within which several not too welcoming institutions, including the district military committee. On the fence - a bright poster with colorful letters: "Family kindergarten"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103951
 11.10.2014
I walked to the office, got out of the car, approached the door and remembered that I forgot the card from the pass in the car.
Get into the car...
... → I attached!!...
I took a map from the armor. I retreated. has gone out.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103950
 11.10.2014
to this:
I always go with my friends to the same dining room.
And often we see a person of uncertain sex. Black pants, a white shirt, a short haircut, unisex-looking glasses, lean and no sexual features are simply not visible.
There was always a dispute about who it was, a boy or a girl.
And here one wonderful day we smoke after lunch and it goes. A colleague from a distance saw the presence of a bayja (there was not before). To avoid suspicion, I turned around and he looked at the name.
I turned back and asked "what?". And he answers with a sad face - "This is a failure, there is Zhenya".


Look at the Adam’s apple. There are no women 😉
Write who it is.)

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