bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №104969
 03.11.2014
Mom, I am in love.
What is her name? Does she know how to cook? What music is she listening to? What is her favorite poet? Does she do sport? Have you kissed? Why didn’t I say it earlier? Giving money? You can buy it ice cream when you walk.
Dad, I am in love.
The grandmother?
and BABA.
and norm.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104968
 03.11.2014
The forum discusses expenditure.

Where do people get small expenses? I eat decent) 11-13 liters now, 1.4 machine 2011g. and in the summer even 7l was never

You can also write that you have 6-7 meals.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104967
 03.11.2014
No minute of rest.
No second of peace,
XXX: No other than Deadline.
XXX: No other than Deadline.
XXX: That is what it is!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №104966
 03.11.2014
I gave a friend a gift box with a game. This morning I received a message from his girlfriend: "I understood you decided to destroy sex in our house with your gift! Before yesterday xxxh to 2 nights gamal, yesterday - I..."

[ + 21 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104965
 03.11.2014
Please advise any country to move...which would be warm, quiet, safe, and not expensive?

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104964
 03.11.2014
The fearful:

>>Let’s see what you say when he replaces the iPhone with a mobile phone from another manufacturer)
– – – – –

It may replace it, or it may not, but it is unlikely to happen for a reason that is so disturbing to you.

****
Of course, not for that reason at all. What an adult person admits this.
__________________________

An adult man, a child. He has his orientation already, clearly defined.
And the sex orientation of the main on the iPhones for him does not matter - what difference, a black cat or a gray, only to catch mice.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104963
 03.11.2014
They are so cute.
My programs
I write 3 different but related programs (A, B, C)
B and C must take from A what A gives to all. So until C was written - B norm worked with A. They connected, met, cared for each other, gave each other information wrapped in gift bags. If something didn’t work out, someone checked and helped.
And here... a while has passed. Only A and B came together as I wrote the third (C) and connected to the first.
The drama began.
B is not working.
He does not relate to A. In the logs either he writes that everything is okay, or he writes nothing at all.
This is the well-known "stay away from me. I’m okay with you, I just feel like you’ve got another" or you’re just silent.
C is connected to the urum and does not yet do anything but has already met A. Kokettliv reports that she is ready to receive data.
Periodically, they all work normally, but at some point B even hanged C. More precisely, they both went to the deck.
What is A?
He does not care.
He just works.
It does not matter who and where.
He has other concerns. Selfish idiots

How it all became suspicious.
I am looking forward and afraid of developments. I’t be surprised if one of them turned out to be someone else’s cousin or sister.

There is no personal life - write it.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №104962
 03.11.2014
Today my wife categorically forbade me to buy beer, and the day was heavy and I really wanted to relax in front of the TV, but there was nowhere to go. did not take. In the evening in a line to the box office in the grocery store saw his jacket on the guy (there are some signs). I am a social man. He approached the guy and asked if he was a refugee from Donbass. It turned out to be a refugee. He lives in Novosibirsk. After that, I wished him that this jacket would warm him the same way I used to, and that he would return. The guy kicked someone and he had a bottle of beer on the box, which was later given to me.
A woman gave refugees a lot of clothes, both mine, her and our two sons.
Do good and you will be rewarded. I never bought a beer (in all honesty), but I still used it in the evening.
All are good.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №104961
 03.11.2014
There is a troubled neighbor in our house. Struggling with everyone. Reasons for a million.
And here I go out with my daughter from the apartment - and she comes to us with a smile,
With questions, with stories.

We talked, said goodbye, I watched - my daughter's eyes - like peppers.
I: What about shock? It was just about half an hour ago "".
The daughter:?? to
I: Yes, I just listened to her "trump" for a long time.
(and myself the day before being a little under the shower just long with a smile)
I listened to her stories "about a difficult life, about JEK and a neighbor - alkasha")
What did she bubble about?
I: No serious thing, no nonsense, but why you?
Daughter (literally): I will also be an old grandmother someday, and I will have to cut the chips.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104960
 03.11.2014
xxx: Would you like to learn how by means of specific practices you can find inner harmony, uncover sleeping abilities, go beyond the ordinary?
YYY: One day I put a light bulb in my mouth and I was able to pull it out. What do you know about going beyond the usual?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104959
 03.11.2014
Ukrainosrach crossed all the boundaries of the reasonable and finally lost its meaning, burning up in the comments under the video with the fight of Pokémon. The catalyst was the yellow-blue water-electric Pokémon Lanturn.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104958
 03.11.2014
From the granddaughter:
And here the whole conversation comes down to such a scenario. Wasya walked through the street, stuck with his foot on the armor that came from the asphalt, began to fall, in the fall hit the aunt who was walking next to him, the aunt fell, hit her head on the edge and died. Vasya is a murderer, he must be jailed. And the armor will continue to shake until the next case.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104957
 03.11.2014
From an accidental conversation between two passing schoolchildren:

If Leisha and I break up, don’t give God, of course, then I’ll start studying.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104956
 03.11.2014
XXX: Am I trembling, or am I wearing a shirt?
Not a puppy, but a puppy.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104955
 03.11.2014
Scientists from San Francisco have resurrected two 700-year-old viruses from ice...
Maxim: they will somehow resurrect something prehistoric on their heads.
Zloradskij: The Communists, for example...

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104954
 02.11.2014
The Tiger's crossing even through a small stream was a headache for the Panzerwaffe, and if you take into account the saturation of the European part of the USSR with rivers, rivers and streams with swamped shores, the promotion of tigers turned into a real nightmare. Automotive bridges of that time such a weight as the Tiger did not often withstand, so to transport at least one Tiger, somewhere near Smolensk through the river is necessary:
1st To repel the Russian train station, necessarily with high platforms (a great rarity) on the same shore.
2nd Find six-axis platforms, one for each tank.
Three Demonstrate the right and left section of the hikes and replace the combat hikes with transport.
4 is Find a crane for disassembly.
5 is Load the fighting goats on the trucks, one for each, since this fool in the amount of two German opels were not pulled out.
6 is Drive the tank to the platform.
7 is Do operations 1-6 with the rest of the tanks - in total for each tank one platform, and two trucks.
8 is Drive the railway through the river (taking into account the activity of the guerrillas in putting the trains under control).
9 is To find and rebuild the Russian station with a high platform on the other shore.
10 is Repeat operations 6-1 in reverse sequence.
11 is To weep over the fact that the Russians 34 amusedly jumped over the rails 4-5 meters wide or waved over the sapphire bridges quickly erected from sublime materials.
I am surprised by German pedantry, accuracy and the complete absence of non-standard and flexible thinking.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104953
 02.11.2014
In six months, my wife will be happy.
did not argue

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104952
 02.11.2014
And Dmitry Anatolyevich, probably, how uncomfortable now, with an iPhone.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104951
 02.11.2014
The Sunday Prayer.
The dog says:"Gave!"
The cow says:"Mouu!"
The cat says:"Maya!"
Father says:"Blue..."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104950
 02.11.2014
X: The movie I watched
X: There is a huge plane flying
X: with several hundred passengers
X: and pilot of the aircraft
X: Sean Bin
X: I worry about the passengers.

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