I have a friend, we go to work. He has a small cargo company. There are not enough stars in the sky, but there is life. And then I (I) I am familiar (z)

I said, “What’s new?”

“Normal, I bought Logan, I rent a taxi.”

I: “And how can I earn it?”

A: “No of course. But what, no fun. In the afternoon, the car at the tenant, in the evening to me it catches, stands next to the house until the morning. Sometimes, from nothing to do, I take a taxi in the evenings, I'm connected to Yandex.

I said “Stop! So are you the same taxi driver who tells you that he has his business, and he charges for the soul?”

Z: “Nay, I try to keep silent, or we are such a sex of the country)))”

So guys, they exist.

There lived one cute girl Lena with her husband and she was doing gymnastics. Accordingly, stretched, flexible, with a certain type of figure.



There was a friend of Cole who breathed on her. He was also indifferent to her, but she kept him at a distance, getting married anyway. And she also had a few lonely cute friends from the gymnastics circles.



And then one common acquaintance who knew the whole story asked:



- Lena, well, since you don't need Nicholas, so introduce him to someone from the studio, with the same Anya, she's lonely.



and yes? So that then I looked into her pale happy eyes, listened to how he collared her beautifully and regretted that I missed him????? to

If vodka is poured into graphene, it becomes expensive.

We once lived on the outskirts of a small town, you can say almost in the village.
The situation was appropriate: a lot of green, and livelihood at least remove.
From time to time, a crown lived near our house: a large
A smart bird with stealing habits. He tore out of the balconies all sorts of little stuff, like pimples. But in measure.
Everyone got used to it over time. They called, of course, the Barbarian and began to feed. Although this was not a special need: Varya himself brilliantly hunted rats.

Once upon a time, a puppy appeared in our yard. of noble blood. Strong as such. Intelligent, fun and shameful. Quite quickly he grew up and became a general favorite: he plays with children, deals with strangers, masks his own tail.

And our dog joined with the frog. Although in the beginning he was spinning, raising, but then somehow softened and stuck to the orphan.

Together, they drank water from the same lochhan and fairly shared the rushed by the locals of мясцо.
Borka listened attentively to the crown when she told him something, and Varvara diligently pulled out of Borka the reptiles, confused in the wool.

Their friendship was observed with apparent indifference, but in fact with envy, by Belochka, the cat of Uncle Fedor, a war veteran, from the apartment on the first floor.

The Hunters of the Dormehbase arose, as always, unexpectedly. They usually went around at night. They appeared that morning. Someone was at work, the children at school, the elderly went to receive a pension.
Uncle Fedor shouted to the hunters, “Don’t dare, shit!” But no one listened to him. What can a legless veteran do?
The barbar arrived when it was all over, and the brigadier of the hunters, a healthy child with an eyelid in his ear, threw Borky’s body into a dirty van.

The next day, someone from the neighbors came to the base and brought Bork from there.
He was buried in the forest.

The crown has been sleeping since then. She virtually did not take the food left by the neighbors, but continued to hunt rats with resentment.

On the day the hunters appeared in our yard again, the crown was sitting on the branch.
Apples and watched the process closely.
Out of the cabin came a brigadier. He smiled and, squeezing with a squeeze,
Go to White. But despite the fact that Uncle Fedor screamed that there was strength, she remained in place, as if hypnotized.

The brigadier did not rush to the White and stumbled.
However, it was not time to put her on the white.
At the moment when Lasso made the last pre-starter twist, something fast and black broke out of the apple branch, furiously whispering, with lightning. For another moment, the hunter began to plunge on the spot, holding his ear, shouting non-member-splitting curse. The Barbarian described the circle of honor and sat on the top of the apple tree.
From her flaming beak hanged half her ear with a golden eyelid.

And Warka did not hunt rats anymore. So, sometimes off the window a branch of mimosis will be folded, it will be placed on a small hill that is in the forest, near our outskirts, and it will be laid on the ground, having previously placed the leaves.
Sitting and listening. Would it suddenly come from somewhere the stinking Borkin Lai?

You can write a prequel to Anderson's "Snow Queen" - about the development of this character, in the spirit of "Joker".
The impressive Scandinavian teenage girl is very angry at people because their activities lead to global warming.

When his eldest son was about 4 years old, he was a classic whychock. A lot of questions in the nonstop mode.  Naturally, it did not go without anatomical topics.

Once in the shower, he asked me why I had more pimples than he had.

I explained that I was older and more than him. My hands, my legs, my body, more and more than he has, including his pitch. He told me that as he grows, he will grow.

This answer was arranged and the topic was closed.



After a while in the same pool, when we wiped after the shower, there was a guy about my height and the same as my set. The son looked closely at me and the neighbor, and then sounded his confusion. There was a loud ringing and ringing in the entire dressing room.

“Daddy, this uncle is the same height as you, but he’s bigger!



Yes, my son, it sometimes happens. It happens.

Often in a dispute is not the one who is wrong, but who first understands the meaninglessness of the dispute.

of Chelyabinsk. The pre-New Year vanity does not affect the environment. The thirty-tenth century was already hot, but in the middle of the 2000s it was harsh. A girl on a business trip, with a full bowl of expensive cosmetics is wrapped to the address of a friend. The darkness is propelled by a lonely lamp, under which there is not a pharmacy, but a couple of typical puppets with bloodthirsty smiles looking at the girl. The girl dies for a couple of seconds, and then breaking the patterns of the guys with a joyful smile rushes to them.
Guys, I am so glad to have met you. Are you so scared, don’t you take me?! to
A few long seconds of reflection, and one of the guys, already without a smile takes the bow, and the other gallantly puts the elbow. They conducted, brought to the door, and without any quirks met and accompanied from the stop all week.

Did you know that a begemot runs faster than a man on land and swims faster than he in water?
And what of this?
- It turns out that the only chance to win with the beemot in the triathlon is a bicycle.

Xxx: My childhood friend was forbidden to watch kisses in movies and TV series. She had to turn around in those scenes. If a second she allowed herself to look, her mother spoke "Natasha!!!!" She humbly turned away. I was not forbidden. As a result, she lost her virginity when I hadn’t really thought about your sexes, and I got married in the summer. These prohibitions do not work there.

Yyy: No, well, her boyfriend wanted to kiss, and she reflected.

The case was tonight. There was nothing to do. I live in the north of England and the people here are gambling. Therefore, all kinds of lotteries, bingo halls, establishments with slot machines (and this is legal here, yes) are very popular places for leisure. I also have a love for gambling. I especially loved going to the bingo halls in England. This is the type of ‘Russian lottery’, but not at home, when you check the numbers in the ticket in front of the TV, and when everything is organized: at 18:00 you go to a huge pavilion, choose a ‘lucky’ (by your own idea) table, buy at the box office your lottery tickets, sit down and the speaker announces what game begins (line-2 line-house) and patiently wait for the victory! When 200-300 people gathered, and some games are held online together with other clubs around the country, chances of winning are small. The prizes are good! So here! I had nothing to do one day (the child is my grandmother, my husband is at work) and I decided to visit the bingo hall. has arrived. The table of luck chose, the tickets bought, the game began. I was definitely not lucky. Even close to a possible victory in at least one of the combinations did not have to think. There are hundreds of people playing at the same time! After an hour of action, being proudly alone, for some reason I was frankly bored and decided it was time to go home. I collected my tickets in a bunch, and there were two more full games left. I think, well not to miss the good - I will give the tickets out to that sad grandfather (his hair and beard were white, like Santa Claus), suddenly he will be lucky in my absence, and I will be happy, even if I do not know about it! I went to my grandfather, I said, say, take my tickets, plus, it is time for me to go home, and you will be more fun. Grandfather did not understand what was required from him at first, but then I explained to him that I was leaving forever and my tickets were his. He took them kindly and we said goodbye. I went to the parking lot to get home on my “carpet”. I go out to the parking lot, here’s the: I’m completely blocked! In other words, it was not possible to actually leave the parking lot. I am standing. I think fucking, do what? Apparently, everyone who has parked is playing bingo... it is now that I am waiting for them all on the street! Until they are done, until they get to the parking lot on their crumbs... I turned, I turned... I think I will go back to the hall, talk to the staff, what to do in this case. I go into the hall... I remind you that there were about 300 people playing in the hall... there is a game... I walk quietly along the wall to not attract attention and not interrupt the tense announcement of the numbers. How suddenly! The grandfather to whom I gave my tickets rushes from his seat (he was very close to me) and says to me, “Girl, GIRL! Your ticket while you left home, HAUS won!!! You know house! Here’s your money, £500 you won, congratulations! To say that I am an officer is to say nothing. To be honest, I was confused by the honesty of a completely strange grandfather, whom I would probably never see again in my life, and who could simply not notice my appearance in the room again. Or pretending not to notice. And he wasn’t the one who noticed me, he also told me that this is my money! Even though I went home! This moment upset me incredibly. I told my grandfather at first that it was unfair on my part, because it was his tickets. My grandfather rejected my version. It annoyed me even more. And then I told my grandfather that my last proposal was to ‘waste’ half the money! After all, it was his honesty and ‘sure’ luck helped me win! Grandpa, though unwilling, but agreed! So I left in the end with a win, although I returned for the car from the parking lot! Daddy also smiled in her mouth, frankly! But I remembered it forever not with a smile first, but with honesty! Since then I have been asking: what would you do in such a situation, for example? When did they gain what belonged to another?

Last night I stood in a row at a rural shop. In front of me is a man of 40, a woman seller is a little younger.



M is a man, P is a seller.



Hello, do you have cigarettes?

Q. What do you need?

Maxim is red.

No, there is no red max.

M – What are they?

P – There is none.

The neighbor has a younger son who is constantly sick. I can hardly remember the days when her child had no pain. Then he grows, then he has a fever, then he coughs, then his fist moves on his fist. Treat with pills, injections, mixtures and other things. And I don’t know whether it’s because of medications, or because of a weak immunity, or because of the fact that the child is rarely out, but the color of the boy’s skin is constantly painfully pale.

And then one day I go to work, I watch a neighbor with her little boy get up. And the boy's appearance is such as a bitch, a ruby on the face appeared, the glow in the eyes is shady. So I greeted them with exaggeration:

Hi to you! Is your fighter recovering? Oh well, the cheeks are broken!

The neighbor shouts:

What a place! We just have a diathesis.

They call me and I raise up:

Listen to

Hi, I am on the announcement.

Hi, by which one?

As for work...

In what exactly? A microbiologist?

- Yes

Where did you work? What did they work with?

What do you have to do?

Growing bacteria

The bacteria??? Is that not dangerous?

to Goodbye.

My uncle was a pilot. I’ve been flying an An-2 all my life. I frequently visited him and the passion as I loved to fly with him. The mail was delivered, the cargo. He also taught me a little. And then in the summer of 96 he calls me and says:

- I was thrown a halter here (the bandits pressed the plane and asked to drive it to Ufa) the aircraft was asked from Orenburg to Ufa to move. You want a computer, right? Flying with me? You buy it and I will buy you a computer.

Flying of course! What Questions?

Early in the morning a man came after us and we went to Orenburg.

We came, we were met, we were fed. Let’s show you the plane. We arrive at the airport, and there the Tu-134 stands.

Do you need to fly this plane?

They say, this one. Are you not a pilot?

I’ve been flying an An-2 all my life.

Oh, what a difference! What kind of man do you want to give up?

“Men, I said I am an An-2 pilot.

Well what? I know how to drive a car, do you think I can’t drive a truck?

There is a crew of 4 people. I need a shuttle mechanic.

- Fuck you are carrying, here to fly 400 kilometers, it is not possible without an assailant, right?

Which as they managed to peacefully explain that there are “some small” differences in the technique.

It was time!

Hi, how do you cut your hair?

Hello, please give me a hat.

I : well. Starting a haircut

Client: Oh, and Natasha has cut me in another way...

I : Yes? Why are you sitting with me and not with Natasha?

Client: Oh yeah you know! She cut me so badly last time.

I: 🤨

It is important not only to be able to live easily, but when it is hard not to die.

Dogs are also humans... or express your thoughts correctly.

A brief introduction for those who did not hold and/or raise four-legged children:
If you approach education seriously, then relatively quickly in addition to performing the simplest, all-known commands such as "sitting", "place" and so on. Dogs begin to understand phrases. For example, my dog was quite digesting phrases like, “Well, go, show me what happened.” He honestly led to the scene and, as far as he could, showed what had happened there... And from the moment they began to interpret phrases, if the phrase was not pronounced accurately or unthoughtfully...

Moscow, metro Kiev... A thick stream of somewhere/where else following citizens... Frames of metal detectors... Comrades in shape, when carefully, and when not very watching the reactions of the frames on passing through... A bit on the side of the kinologue with the dog... A dog tired so much that he sleeps (on a special carpet), as they sometimes say “without the back legs”, and sees his dog dreams, wherever he runs there, turns, in short: he sleeps very strongly, despite the surrounding noise (separate respect for those who have achieved the presence of these most carpets, they did not have before).

The metal detector overcomes the semi-treated or slightly drunk, here whoever likes, I will be tolerant, a man with a healthy tissue bag. The guard doesn’t like something, asking to open the bag. And there... A lot, a lot of bullets, each wrapped in a separate newspaper. Comrade, in Russian, apparently not very, emotionally explaining something, begins to unfold/turn one fist after another, showing that there is nothing forbidden. The guards turn on a calculator for counting the time of unfolding / turning all the balls in the bag and there is a grief in the eyes.
Here one of the guards comes up with the idea – “Let’s show the dog? And let’s let it go / bind it depending on...” And with signs show the man to show the bag to the dog, he also with signs shows that he is afraid of the dog, such as – show yourself...
The guard calls the filmologist, he wakes the dog... The dog is not awake and still understands nothing, but he follows the owner... The guard decided to complete his idea with a check, as well as show his significance, and he himself gives the command to the dog that has not yet awakened: “It’s you, check!”...
Hearing this, the kinologist begins to chick, but looks at the dog and sneezes him, confirming the command given by a stranger, such as performing...
The dog, having received the confirmation, quite logically to his dog’s point of view, interprets the phrase:
1st It was given to him;
2nd Asked to check;
Three He did not sleep, why was he awakened, but he still wants to sleep;
4 is Once this is given to him, he can check what is there after sleeping.
Therefore, under the sincere rust of the filmologist and the confusion of everyone else, he takes his bag, takes it to himself on the carpet and goes to bed further...

P.S The bag was given...
But gentlemen, keep an eye on the words, not only people can misunderstand you :)

When he saw her, the smart clock measured the pulse, and the smart mobile bank locked the card.

I installed some kind of metal doors with a homeopath. In a four-story house for 70 apartments. Two metal doors in the basement. Well, as I established... In the general assembly of tenants I was elected responsible for this case. I will be silent about collecting money and catching especially "hit on the head", for years I do not want to remember the bad. But it was possible to break quickly, after taking a tough position: "who did not give the money - gets one key and no pipe," although the scream and listened.



And here is the desired day, the brigade arrives and begins to set up everything. Everything smoothly, without excessive fanaticism when dismantling the old, generally people know how to work. And here at the very end of the reception of work I find a cushion... Well, how a cushion? The Cossack. The small. It was not enough for a third of a bubble of foam, one basement door to the end of the perimeter to foam. It was not calculated and it was too late to buy.



“Lord, let’s count, sign the acts, tomorrow we will come, we will sing.

- No, you will come tomorrow, sing, then the acts, and the calculation.



In general, after mutual reproaches and calls to the accounting office, I agree that I "press" the acts and five thousand (year 10 ago), and after the work, I give the money and acts to the worker who came. “Tomorrow, I’ll give a tooth.” In principle, I believed, a bubble of foam against five thousand, and even at that price...



No one came tomorrow. And the afternoon. And in a week.

A month later I was called.

You owe me 5,000.

I know

When will you pay?

As soon as yours come and remove the shortcomings, I will immediately pay and sign.

What is not done?

One door must be closed to the end.

They will come tomorrow.



Another month has passed.

Good morning, I owe you 5,000.

I know

When will you pay?

As soon as yours come and remove the shortcomings, I will immediately pay and sign.

What is not done?

Ask the masters, money and acts are waiting for them.



Of course no one came. A month later I was called again and asked to call the director again. The man is obviously angry.

Why are you not paying your debt?

Because your employees have not been able to cope with a shortage of 20 minutes for three months.

The accountant says that all the work is done, the acts are ahead of me.

“Well, I’ll come in tomorrow and see together if the signature looks like mine, I didn’t sign anything.

Judging by the voice, the man is obviously confused.

What is not done?

One door must be closed to the end.

And all that?

Yes, a third of the bubble of foam affairs, acts and money I have.

I will call you back.



I called back.

Man, you owe us nothing. Can you buy a bubble of foam and lock the door yourself with that money?

- Of course, but maybe it's better for the worker to come in and pay, and I give him the money?

It is no longer your problem.



Naturally no one came in. I called a worker and cried out that I had put him up for five thousand rubles (at the price of ten years ago). He promised to come and fill his mouth. How many years have I lived in fear?