bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №143524
 01.08.2017
Driver-X: This is called irony. At first you fly like the last time, you are cool, you have the fastest car on the earth in Belarus, you will come home much faster than all those nausea that do not know how to ride and write on the road. And then fucking! and you are standing on the MCCAD, the car is in the dust, you are waiting for GAI, you are made guilty for some reason, a broken car must be imported on the evacuator for your money, in your affairs, of course, you will not have time, the GAI fine, possibly deprivation, the car is not in use at the price of the debris, not under the repair at the price of another such car. And this is the best arrangement in which no one, including yourself, has been hurt by your fault. In short: time, nerves and money. And I'm going to go on my almost legal 90-99 km / h and at rest I'll come home, hug my wife, we'll go for a walk with our son... and you're still on the track at the broken cork. Take a step forward, friends.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143523
 01.08.2017
quadrophenic: I read the first three books at the beginning of the century, still hell then who knew what the Game of Thrones is, and the series was not even in the project. Then, three years later, Pier waited for the thorns, before leaving again read everything. Then for another five years Dancing with Dragons waited, again to read. And then he stopped working at all, Martin, SK, began to adapt the series. I cried out and stopped reading and watching this until he wrote the source. Let him write, then I’ll read and look.

Subject: Rough

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №143522
 01.08.2017
>Nobody is interested in not shaving girls.

A man, shaving girls are either forever busy shaving, or constantly shaving on the touch. What is interesting?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143521
 01.08.2017
Scientists are burning.
xxx tells about two types of thermonuclear installations, tells about the fact that both have disadvantages in the form of high complexity and cost of the applied technology and unclear prospects in the case of obtaining clean energy. Then it summarizes: "Traditional choice of dessert from root fruits with low sugar content."
I did not immediately understand what he was about.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №143520
 01.08.2017
For the fool and the shame, Piar.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №143519
 01.08.2017
A new nurse came to our office. Young and stupid. Just ready targets. Food for the sick. He ate, and she ran to me:
He doesn’t want it anymore!
I tell her:
Eat by yourself!
She is:
How is? I do not want!!! to
I am her:
We have this order! If you don’t want to – go to the boss, ask her permission not to eat.
And she went! I have already regretted that I froze this, I sit, waiting for a pizza...yellow from the head.
There comes a nurse with a very stunned face, and says:
I told her as you said.
and?
She replied, “Let me do it myself!”

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №143518
 01.08.2017
What happens after poverty?
of poverty.
And after poverty?
The subsistence minimum.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №143517
 01.08.2017
Reviews at the I-Market on the Makita vacuum cleaner.
The Dignity:
It is convenient to run after the cat.
One charge is enough for 3 cleaning.
Combat readiness 15 seconds. Now everything I broke, dissolved, crushed, removed in 2 minutes. The ideal husband.
Disadvantages: It is uncomfortable to remove the dust collector. I am all the time in this dust. Every time I look like a guy from the movie “The Great Lebowski” when he scattered the dust over the ocean during the breeze.
Previously, I suffered from the ridicule of my friends, they laughed that I was cleaning. But I am afraid of my wife, so I continue to suck. Everything changed when I bought this carpet. My wife is also beating me, but now, when the root rings during the cleaning, I say that I’m doing homework with the makita. What questions can there be, man in the house! In beauty, everything went well, preserved dignity in general.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143516
 01.08.2017
A funny observation. At the beginning of work, I had to work in small firms with not very high salaries. The toilets there were clean and did not smell, although they were cleaned a couple of times a day. Some of the last jobs - firms are bigger and salaries are bigger. Toilets are dirty and stinky, despite the hourly cleaning. The conclusion is that the increase in income levels makes people shit. Think about that.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143515
 01.08.2017
Man, if he sets a goal, can destroy life altogether. Hopefully this will not happen until some bacteria remain.

Not just bacteria. The experience of the reserve "Chernobyl" is more than optimistic in the forecast. The conclusion is simple: better with radiation than with humans. These people are frightened by three-eyed rabbits and two-headed rabbits. And Mother Nature can easily cope with these deviations. Destroy all life on continents? and what? Have you forgotten where life came from? Nature to all this radiation together with the human race - and from the high bell.
It seems that for Life, the emergence of the Mind is like a watermelon. It is easy - there is immunity. And hence the sad conclusion: we are not the first in Life.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143514
 01.08.2017
12:00 Watch video about postponing for later
12:10 thank you
18:00 What is the video?
19:20 I haven't seen it yet :D

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №143513
 01.08.2017
80% of divorces are initiated by women who are tired of Scottish husband behavior. In the literal sense of Scotland, it is not "going with unbarred legs", men are permitted by default, and drink / beat / money to pick / lovers to drive tabun / children to ignore.

They will run and educate that if their legs were carefully brushed, this would not have happened!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №143512
 01.08.2017
At age 15, I was terribly afraid of the dark. And the worst event for me was the departure of my parents, because I had to spend the night alone. Yes, many would be happy in my place, but for me it was hell and a nightmare. In the darkness, all kinds of monsters, ghosts from games and movies were constantly stirring in me, and even my fierce imagination worked against me.

Such nights I experienced by turning on the TV and arranging illumination in half the rooms. So, in the light, under the noise of the broadcasts, I fell asleep calmly.

On one such day, I grabbed as usual and woke up in the middle of the night, because I slept out of little need. The TV was turned off, and the lights too. Sleep as a hand. I hid my head under the blanket and thought the sting would come out of her, which cut everything out to get to me and will do something unnatural with me. But the unknown shit did not attack, and the bladder resembled a litre of juice.

After a few minutes, I finally calmed down and finally turned my brains on, suggesting that the lock JEC had turned off electricity again. And the time went up and a few more minutes of delay would be fatal to me.

I had two options: to go to the toilet where a monster was waiting for me, or to describe myself and then meet the monster, because in a wet bed I would not lie for a long time. Decided to die with dignity, I began to prepare for the campaign and began to encourage myself: "This is you should be afraid, this is the evil in the flesh, you will destroy them all! " And the other nonsense that still gave me spirit. Having gained courage, I cautiously got out of bed and went to the toilet. Precisely how she went... She jumped over like a horse and barely dropped the faisan product with her impulses. From fear, the process ended extremely quickly and I only had to go back under the blanket, where no cataclysms and chaotic shit would be scary to me. But my body was just paralyzed by fear and I was even afraid to take a step.

I remembered again my main motivation, “I need to be afraid”, took a deep breath and shouted at the whole house: “Yes, I’m going to hit you as soon as I get rid of monsters!” And with this belligerent cry, I was about to take a step in front of my room, as the darkness replied to me, “Have you guarded me?”

To say that I was sick, to say nothing. The mystical fear of the unknown was mixed with the fear of receiving lilies from monsters. I freezed and listened to death coming to me.

Death turned on the lights and cried out in my mom’s voice: “What did you ruin here in the middle of the night? “First you run like a horse, and now you are riding.”

And I just hugged my mom and cried out of shame and horror.

As it turned out, my parents had to come back late at night, and I couldn’t hear it because of the noise. They turned off the lights with the TV so I could sleep better and go to bed alone. And at night I woke up from thunderstorms and loud whispers.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №143511
 01.08.2017
My mother came from a small village, in her youth moved to the big city, where I got married and where I was born.In my childhood we often went to my grandmother on vacation, but when I was 13, they suddenly stopped. I recently asked my mom what happened. It turns out that her best friend, who remained in that village, had a son about the same age as me, and when I was born this aunt decided that we should definitely get married to her baby and leave to us town. Mom then laughed, but in the year of my 13-year-old girlfriend again raised the question and quite seriously, such as "you promised us." On my mother's refusal was issued a brilliant plan "well then our Grishka will rape your Tanka and you will not go anywhere" 0_0

My mother decided not to risk.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №143510
 01.08.2017
"And now I don’t understand how to live? And it's not about ordinary household matters, cooking, washing, cleaning and I can myself. But how to live on with all this I do not understand yet. Please help me"

I went through it myself. For the first two weeks, I felt like I was dying — going to work, doing something, coming home on a full machine. Inside there was an enormous creeping void (since from childhood I was tuned to marriage before the grave, and divorce was for me the collapse of all the future). Then he began to recover slowly. Very helped sports - purely on the physical level you get a good charge of endorphins, it revitalizes. Then came the understanding of how and why to live on. You didn’t lose your health, after all. Scar tissue, and I wish you so...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143509
 31.07.2017


here here :
The rise of prohibiting laws always precedes the collapse of power. The Eastern Wisdom

and lol. The whole history of the East tells us that there has never been such popular wisdom there.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143508
 31.07.2017
How did you fuck.

Svetka from the accounting office has a new shirt, and I also saw in the jewelry store a collier for just 4000 euros! If you love, buy it.

At a new job from every dirty middle-level manager, I hear this dirty tale. And when at the corporate with their wives confronted - what a naked collier, what a shit of a shirt, these tortured aunts have no elementary paradox-outcome pieces, and one of the puddles on the sleeve on the seam broke. I tell her about it, and she knows, but there is nothing else. So even if the sworn mercantile babies attack you, most of you are successfully defending.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №143507
 31.07.2017
There are three things you can look at endlessly: how fire burns, how water runs, and how the boss, with whom he hasn’t gotten along for a couple of years, takes his job at OK...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №143506
 31.07.2017
The closer a person is to you, the better you should be for him. Even at home. You can relax in the bathroom and toilet.

...
And all life is a battlefield and the desire to appear to be who you are not. And then the bat! Why so much pain for 40 years? And this is constant nervous tension and the inability to relax the bulls, yes.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №143505
 31.07.2017
According to available information, Russia is already preparing retaliatory measures for those measures that the United States is preparing in response to Russian measures, which Russia will prepare in response to measures that the United States will prepare in response to the reduction of its diplomats in Moscow. The foreign ministries of both countries are seriously concerned about the answer to the question "What do we do when diplomats in embassies are out?"

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