111: Opinions divided, although it seemed to be questions for imbeciles :)

222 Imbeciles and Imbeciles.

When I was a child, my mother often visited me. One of her acquaintances lived in a communal. I liked it, it was so old and strange. The shelves in the refrigerator are signed, in the corridor a number of varied hangers, and in the bathroom a parade of soaps.



I remember I went to the bathroom, closed the door on a tick, wanted to sit down when the shadow was on top. In the window between the bathroom and the toilet, the old lady struck me, and since she was blinded, she pressed her face to the glass so that it splashed.



All things were done instantly, I opened the door and already wanted to run to my mom when I was grabbed by the hand.

I just watched what you were doing there. Never take my paper. I understood?



I realized I couldn’t live in the community.

When a country is a family,
Everyone lives and lives by love.
Tell me who is your friend and I
I’ll tell you why you’re being arrested! :)

What do you like to hear from a girl?
- I will do it all by myself, don't crack, no, don't need to be long, I love when it's fast, you're offgenic!
to warm...
You can do this immediately after sex. Also impressive.
Go you...
And that’s what you’ll say to the rich goat who orders you a cocktail at the club. The guy will also like it.
You are a fool.
It also works. To the man, when he insists on food.
and all. Received.
You are cute! This phrase will end your conversation with a rich goat. After that, you will stay with your student without money and with a quick orgasm.
Better not to ask...

Zombies don’t eat their brains for what they need, but for old memories.

photo from the flood in Novgorod: flooded parking and landmark - parking LLC "Spliv-Auto"... :)

If in Russia they talked about the world experience, why is it foolish by the authorities

From Battle.Net:
Nixx: As an accountant, I like the necromans and their desire for balance.

The composition of sangria in the menu
Red wine, gin, peach liqueur, apple liqueur, fan? This is not a sangria, it is a cocktail "the tear of Komsomol".

The rise of prohibiting laws always precedes the collapse of power. The Eastern Wisdom

Many communication problems arise because people are used to generalizing and extrapolating. For example, a girl will write on the forum: a man should be brave, determined and take responsibility for himself, a boy will read this and decide that this is the opinion of all girls. And then he will try to meet some feminist girl who perceives all this determination as aggression and a try to pressure. The result is file. Or the girl is listening to statements that all men only need sex, will adjust to it, and then rush to the guy, raised on animated haremniks and dreaming of romance. The girl is ready to give him straight from the move, and he looks at her with confused eyes and thinks, "Why is she such a fool?"
We are all different. Quiet home girl can love tough porn and anal. A hundred-kilogram duck can love roses and painting. An amateur chasing naked around the apartment may not even think that this is provocative behavior. Talk to each other, ask each other, know each other, and then the relationship will be much more understandable and pleasant.

What could be worse than seeing a cat bleeding on the way to the toilet at night?
is right! Not seeing her.

Here is this:
Asteris: The essence of Orthodoxy in Russia is to invite the father to consecrate the "Satan" rocket.

The sofa expert. In fact, "Satan" in this case is the designation of the R-36M missile by NATO classification, not the Russian Ministry of Defense. I do not argue about religion.

What the road is, so are the roads.

The chain is broken on the big. The instinct of the Soviet times suggested - well, fucking do you do this. Walk on foot to Sokolniki. They repair there. The metro is not allowed in the hour of peak. They will do right. Where do I go with the big guy in the full car?

He - objected to me an adult uncle of the era of capitalism - 50 minutes to walk to Sokolnikov? Moscow is the capital of services. 15 million heads do not produce any shit, but any of your cravings or needs will be satisfied at the nearest corner according to the full program. Googl, I say, repair the bicycles. Immediately the map became clear - to figure out how many points are ready to help me in the area of disaster. All right under the side. Fuck those puppets.

I call the nearest, min 5 walk - long hips. When I called, he came. This office is covered.

I call the next one, before her min 10 to the other side. There is some sort of azzki chicken in response to all three attempts. Well, her fool, I will not go.

Other closest places marked by Google, where I am ready to help with the repair is big, just astonished - there was a repair of the clock, and electrical equipment, and even a cozy cafe.

Finally, I found a point clearly more ambassador - I will conditionally call it "Velorai". A network across the country, 800th number, and only 15 minutes walk. I begin to move in this direction, at the same time I try to call through all these "we will solve any of your problems", "if you need something, press 7" in a few iterations, and of course the final "Unfortunately, all our operators are now busy, but..." I almost reached the specified place by Google, when I really answered a live operator. He explained that their nearest office in Moscow was moved to Pjotnicka, that is, much further from Sokolnikov.

Another attempt is athlete. An even larger network of stores with all kinds of sports equipment, including large. Through the same ass of abundant options, I finally reach the live operator. He replies that he has no idea if they are doing the replacement of the chain at the closest point to me, but at least gave her the phone. I call you, they do! Master in place.

I went up to the third floor...b...!!! The master has lunch. Or he dines, the hell knows it, it is the seventh hour of the evening. There will be min in 15 days. I leave big, I walk for half an hour. I return with the naive confidence that the chain has been replaced and I can finally go home.

and UGU. The master did not start. He was waiting for me to find out that I could afford to set up a firm chain of their store for 350 rubles. He gave off, mentally pronouncing a rather elaborate insult. Another 15 minutes walk.

I go back, the master failed. Their store, it turns out, supports a series of standard components, for which my great turned out to be an enemy. That is, chains there even a shit eat, but none of them fit my great.

To be honest, at this point, I had an intense desire to just go out on the highway and whisper any moving object that could accommodate my dandelion. to the sockets. Ride 15 mins, taking into account the traffic jams. Taking his hand as a victim? Did Sasha go on the highway and suck the dry? Oh well naked. This is the long-lasting era of wild capitalism, the 90s. In our time, comfortable services have definitely been formed.

I settled in a cozy restaurant, ordered a beer, and started to call in familiar taxi companies. With every thousand cars, they arrive quickly anywhere. Unfortunately, none of these cars had attachments for a large on the roof, or enough space in the luggage compartment, or in the cabin.

Includes the freight transportation. On a bunch of advertising shields, I remember Truzovichkoff and Gazelkin. The truck is more ambassador. I click their first link in Google and get on...Gazelkin! These strawberries made such a reference to themselves on the plane. Fuck them. Even if they get fucked in this, they get fucked in the service. I found the truck website. He is delightful.

From 49 rubles. Challenge in 15 minutes. Contact officer 24 hours. Shut up!

What could be easier than transporting 15 kg of my bicycle for 3 km? “From 49 rubles” is just my case. Another minute 10 - called the live operator and found out that the service for me personally will cost 1290 rubles. To justify this price, the girl relied on the fact that the gazelle allocated to me was able to carry as much as one and a half tons. Being already aware that my big weighs 15 kg. I am funny to imagine that this company takes to transport for the promised 49 rubles. Destroy a mouse for 1 meter.

As a result, I started to think better about these scammers from Gazelkin. He also made a control call. Compare the prices. The company, of course, is not so cool, guaranteeing delivery of the truck in 20 minutes. But the 5 minute difference didn’t bother me. And in vain. The operator Gazelkina after endless expectations "all operators are busy" gave me a price in 1590 rubles. Arrival in 30 minutes.

And the truckchief promises to do the same for 1290 and in 15 minutes - I noticed, I'll probably order from them.

The operator reacted lightning. Unclear but pleasant. Type, "Congratulations, in this time zone for you now is a special offer, super discount, 1090 rubles!"

I easily agreed. By that time I was well. I drank a beer in the fresh air, on the veranda of a good restaurant, with a pot of flowers on the table and a magnificent view of the half-naked students passing by from the heat of the famous university. I didn’t mind that the truck was a little late.

But not to the same extent! I thought when the promised half-hour and beer had long since expired. Ura, a phone call from Gazelkin: "and the driver has not called you yet?" Forget, they are not aware. Another five minutes later: "Unfortunately, the driver is stuck in a traffic jams indefinitely."

I realized that the peak hour in the subway has long passed. He went there, explained the situation to the conductor - the gazelkin devil knows when he will arrive, and the masters in the Sokolnikovs will soon leave. My aunt got there, let go.

Called the driver, canceled the order due to his 20 minute delay with unknown time of arrival. Upon leaving the subway, he found 11 missed calls from the gazelin. Then three independent ladies had long been trying to find out why I refused the service, all three were clearly unaware of my call to the driver and the existence of two others.

I reached the master almost at the last minute. Total time is 2 hours 40 minutes. Delivered to the site by the Soviet subway, despite the abundance of other options. The slide in me just admired: “Damn, did you look at your smartphone at all? I would walk right away to Sokolniki, in 50 minutes would get there."

The State Duma has adopted amendments to the recent law on resort collection.
It is assumed that after their approval, the fee will be paid by all Russian citizens who refused to travel for at least a day to the resorts of Crimea or Krasnodar Territory.

To try to make a foldable machine gun-gun decided to do Tula weapons makers, and achieved that in the folded form the weapon even to the weapon was unlike, although in the folded only separately resembled a machine gun-gun..."

How to wake up when the alarm is silent when the alarm is silent?

I think you can put the mode "in the plane"

To have a flat stomach, you need to eat flat food.
diamant: pizza, chocolate, blend

Maximum of 10:12
Do you like to humiliate boys?
Go to Skype? I’ve got my sisters, I can beat myself with a belt on the pope, or I can just call you a lady and do your orders.

Crisis 10:27
I want you to strangle yourself with at least a 20cm toy.

Crisis 22:13
Where are you, Maxim?Oh, what men they went for!