The only thing that could break the Soviet meat machine was the table to which it was attached.

Just just.

I leave home. I approach the car. I see a neighbor parking on the ground floor blocking my car. Out of the car, the dialogue continues:

O neighbor, hello to you! And I’m just writing to you that the mouth has blocked you, little, that you shouldn’t argue.

I am: Hi! What do you not like nearby? It is free!

So if I put my own there, others will cover me, and I HATE it.

Today I met my longtime friend, an ordinary guy with a beard and a beard, but since our last meeting he was somewhat bald. I asked him why he was shaved.

What he answers:

The girl I'm dating now recently told me that she loves smoothly shaved guys, well I shaved, so she's not talking to me the second day now.

I bought a landscape and encountered the fact that there are constantly a lot of bugs on the site and around it.

I read on the Internet that hoodies do not live where there is a lot of hoodies.

Thro the summer, I searched, dragged and fed.

Now in the day I have a lot of gossip, and at night it is full, shit!

I went to Moscow for business. Half the day I ran and sat in the car on the back seat to rest. I removed my shoes, stretched my legs, I sat lazyly chewing a sandwich. The weather was summery and therefore the windows on the front doors were released, and the rear windows were raised and darkened. Two men come out of the entrance to smoke and stop so that I hear them and see them, and they are not there.

Here are people who are not afraid to leave the car with the windows open, says the first man.

Per he has the alarm wrecked - the second responds.

Or a big dog sitting on the back seat - I insert my replica.

Men are dependent.

Then the first approaches slowly and looks carefully into the open window.

Silence looks me in the eyes. He goes, says something to the other and they leave.

And I am still tormented by the question: Did he really hope to see a big talking dog in the rear seat?

If you lived in a cyberspace world, what augmentation would you make first?

yyy: Iron Concrete Member

Zzzz: You are a fool. The concrete from friction crumbles, and is also toxic. You don’t get fucked. Well, or you will stay at the end with an armor in diameter in a centimeter and an angry girl, forging a concrete crumb from the secluded places and hiding you with an 18-story mat. I recommend titanium.

On the already disappearing wave of memories of children that cannot be forgotten. As I said before, I’ve been working with children for a long time and the most “beautiful” guys have ever met in the camps. On the one hand, you understand that you only have 3 weeks to communicate with them, not years like in school, on the other hand, teachers are not with children 24 on 7. So here. closer to the essence. The camp. The senior squad. The girl Lena. The first impression is an ordinary girl, beautiful, always asking what to help, with everyone friendly. Exactly 1 day. Then millions of calls from her mother begin:

- That the child did not get fruit in the dining room - gave herself to some of the guys, my mother said that she was not enough, and the leaders did not start to understand.

The evil leaders pressed into the sandal forced them to repair the bed - although the adults always repair themselves.

- during the trip to the excursion, they were not allowed to buy a shaurma - children are not allowed to buy it, because it is unclear what it is from

A million other predictions. Every time I spoke to my mother and told her as polite and detailedly as possible why it was so and why it could not be otherwise. Mom usually did not listen very much and after a couple of minutes went to the ultrasound, blaming me that since I don’t have my children, I can’t understand her and take care of the baby normally. Who, by the way, always smiled in her eyes, and then told her mother all the stuff. The only time I didn’t answer my mom correctly was after this conversation.

M- me Lena has downloaded the link to your profile in VK, I need you to edit

I am? ? to ? to

M - you have 174 photos, where you are in the cafe Sit, on the table of glasses with wine, this will be seen by children! Remove it immediately. And 392 photos, there is a cut in the shirt too deep.

Honestly, I couldn’t stop laughing. She has not yet reached the photo in the swimsuit.

Selling unnecessary things in the car. A call from a potential buyer that I am not from Moscow could not you send me an express mail to Lipetsk. I say no problem list the money and I will send it. No says you send first, money then. I said goodbye to her and forgot about her. Suddenly a call again. Again she. My cousin in Moscow tells me I will transfer money to him, he will take the goods from you. I tell him to come in. In the morning, the phone call from my brother says he will arrive at two o’clock. It is evening and he is not there. A call from Lipetsk. He took your goods. I say no. He sent me a SMS that he had it all. I have not seen your brother in the eyes. Okay, I’ll call back now. He calls back. He does not take the phone. Tomorrow morning she is again. He locked me in the phone and does not get in touch. I ask how your brother has alcohol affairs, maybe he has already wasted your money. As they say, you can drink 11,000 a night. I tell her that it’s Moscow and it’s easy to drink 11,000 in the evening. The call tonight. Well that didn’t announce this goat, he completely switched off the phone. I’d better give you the money. It’s a lot of money for me and I’ll go to court for it. Of course, I would probably not give money to a stranger, but as a relative, I could not understand.

If you have half a glass of glasses, then believe it doesn’t matter if your glass is half empty or half full.

Two Ural oligarchs decided to build an Offigen temple in Yekaterinburg in order to perpetuate their names. This is a pretty “dirty” story.
But literally on the days, June 19, in Nizhny Tagil, the local treatment and rehabilitation center was named Vladislav Tetyukhin.
This hospital Tetyukhin built on his own money.
He didn’t buy football teams, yachts, or planes, though he could. He built a hospital where qualified doctors perform unique operations and simply treat, return to normal life, put people on their feet.

Putin ordered the return of Russians from Georgia.
And from London, Vladimir Vladimirovich, from London!

There is a common misconception that euphoria, joy, gratitude or other strong emotion arises when certain conditions of a person's life are satisfied.

In fact, this is not root correct.

Any emotion is the essence of a reaction to changes in current conditions:

It was warm, it was cold – irritation.

It was hungry and filled with happiness.

and so on. Neither feelings of heat/cold, nor satiety/hunger, nor any other, will cause any emotions if they are stable and unchanged.

Love as a feeling does not exist. It is only a set of strong regular emotions that arise in connection with the associative perception of a particular person.

By the way, there is no universal set of such feelings for any person that could be determined as love. Everyone is unique. It unites a similar group of emotions and gives the opportunity to designate a separate term only the fact of their occurrence in connection with a particular person and the obsessiveness of these emotions over time.

It is believed that the higher such obsession, the stronger the so-called. The love.

Simply put, love is emotions that arise in connection with the hopes of an individual to change some of their own established conditions of life for the better.

From here it is easy to understand and possible reasons for the cessation of "love".

In fact, there are only two:

disappointment (the difficult path)

Satisfaction is the easiest way.

In other words, in order to be loved, you need either:

- to convince in the hopelessness of the feeding hopes (and not so much consciously as subconsciously, because almost nobody is able to clearly determine that personal set of expectations, which causes him a feeling of love);

- either to meet expectations and wait for that short moment, when this will cause a natural outbreak of the corresponding emotions, and the object of past love will lose relevance.

Well, the opposite situation: if you want to keep the attention of the object on yourself as the source of his love, you need either:

- not satisfy the expected expectations, while leaving hope for success in the future (easy path);

- or to evolve with him / her, each time concentrating in yourself precisely those qualities that are needed by the partner for further development.

The worst of them was a colleague at work. He lived quietly in his one-room apartment. He was long in a divorce, had two adult children, he was 50 years old and then sparked a passion for a lady one year older than him (! ) is Not 20 years old, not 30 years old, not 40 years old. Then they have a natural wedding, everything as appropriate + wedding in the church. In addition to his two daughters, he already has a granddaughter.

Further events developed in the following way: the "young" persuades him to sell the house, and on the money received in her fucking twin to make a euro repair. He sells the house and makes a repair for 1 euro. Then she persuades him to take a loan to buy her daughter an apartment. A colleague is given 800 tires, he adds all his savings and buys a house for his daughter.

The corresponding end of the story. After a couple of years of life together, they went crazy and the "young" gives him a pencil under the scarf. As a result: no apartment, no money, throwing the bank 800 tir +%

Once I had a neighbor, a couple of elderly. My grandfather knocks and asks for help. I open the door and see with my hand, help me. I confusedly begin to remember how to provide first aid, an ambulance number, signs of a stroke and so on. I go to them and see how the grandmother leaned over the sewing machine, the thread cannot be put into the needle, both have poor vision. I had the mountain on my shoulders, helped and came out with a smile. It was cute)

The toilet broke.

Well, what to do, I was a man, went to the construction market - bought a wire. He came home - twisted him in the sorting, made them friction, toilet by Fig.

I already wanted to dismantle the toilet, but decided to call the management company first.

It is said that such a service costs 500 rubles.

He ran away, and 30 minutes later the saucer arrived. I asked for a garbage bag and a bag of hot water. The jacket was removed from the speck, it was wrapped on the fist, and the top of the garbage pack - the type of boxing gloves. Water from the basement to the toilet and this boxing gloves like a vantaxe sharply into the point of the toilet. You can tell the depth of it. The sound is a whisper. Pressed on the slide, the water goes away.

Everyone says the shutdown has been removed.

I don't think the superhero was found, Vantuzman fucking, two minutes five-hour. And forced him to repeat the procedure several times. Type of control shot.



Two weeks have passed, the flight is normal.

A country in which the president gives water in a crane is invincible.

On the left bank of the Ural river, a slope-directed drilling machine struck the ground, and a ducker was cooked on the right. All this together was called the construction of the underwater passage of the main pipeline and was carried out on one of our sites for a couple of months, when the work came to a pre-holiday break.

The brigades of the right and left shore travelled around the houses, the last was sent by the management of the site - the chief and two masters. Standing on the left bank, they watched the last guard with the welders depart from the right – forty kilometers along the river, exit from the ground gun to the asphalt, straight to the bridge, a couple of hundred kilometers to the base. Not far from the temporarily empty wagons of the right-shore ran a village herd. Several dozen varied-fat cows mixed with sheep and goats.

- The bar would buy, - dreamingly said the head of the site, - the shurp, shale, soccer, ear on the oak bouillon to be swallowed. A box of vodka in the refrigerator.

– Oh! The thought, the first master rejoiced and cried out, easily covering with a command voice a hundred meters of shrinking water, and three hundred flooded meadows, - oh shepherd, sell the lamb!

by Cho? Interested in the shore.
Sold it out, ch! He will shock me.
Five thousand people! The shepherd was delighted.
Five thousand – a dozen! You can’t keep an old master, he can trade even across the river.
Three for one!
and two!
No, there are three!
Five hundred rubles.
You offered two thousand?
Are you five and what?

We negotiated for half, all the fish in the river was a witness.

One and a half? The chief asked, although he heard everything along with the fish and the beast five kilometers away from the Ural forest. Half is good. Only you, Nikolai Mikhalych, are now eighty kilometers behind the lamb and so much to go back. Forty to the bridge on our side, forty on them. and then back.

“Daaah,” said the first master, “he is a bear, beautiful and close, I can see his reflection in his eyes, but in fact he is eighty kilometers away. Everything in the world is relative, his mother Lobachevsky in non-Euklid geometry.

- So the boat is rubber, - remembered the second master, you can fuse. She is single.

“Right,” the head of the site thought, “you’re in a boat there, and from there you’ll put the baron on a veil, and you’ll walk eighty kilometers. It will be twice as good as just going away. I wonder, is this bear able to grasp?

- And we told you, - enter again first, - it was necessary to ask the chief engineer for a cage for the site. It would not be floated for a long time.

I asked, and he said to me, “You have not yet calculated for the drowned one,” he says, “give Cruiser Aurora, so you let him and all the crew and three nearby villages go to the bottom.”

“Why with three,” the second smiled cleverly, because he had already come up with a plan, “why with three at once?” I will not swim behind the baron. We stretch the wire through the river and use the boat as a ferry on it. Empty there, with the baron back.

You hear, the shepherd! He cried out, don’t go anywhere. We are now...

How do we turn the thread? Interested in men.

The trous? The thread is simple...

One hour later there was a test shot. From two piles of the support wall and several Kamazov chambers was made a rogat. It was stretched by a Hitachi excavator of three hundred sizes.

The day! The granite stone, launched by a powerful rubber, removed the car’s antenna on the opposite shore and escaped into the forest.

The flight! - appreciated the success of the boss, - yet this antenna caught nothing here. Stretch a third less.

A rope was attached to the next stone. The skier on the trip crashed on the metal side of the wagon, scared the shepherd, but pulled the rope. A thin steel cord was pulled out with a rope, after half an hour the rubber-ferry crossing was ready and the first master went to the right shore, taking the rope with his hands. A traction rope was attached to the boat, and the boat itself was grabbed by a loop to the rope, so the lamb refused to graze, as much as they did. But he calmly entered the boat and sailed into the unknown.

"It was necessary to tie the lamb," the second master said loudly, pulling the boat to the middle of the river.

"Anna, anna, anna," replied the echo of the mountain forest, and the lamb, frightened by a loud voice, jumped out of the boat and sailed.

“Bundled, flooded,” answered the first, and they all ran along the shores for a floating animal. Five kilometers later, the cattle came to the desired shore. The bear was caught despite the fact that he bitten the second master.

"You know," said the next evening the head of the department, drinking the fragrance of the lamb with ice vodka, "you could not stretch the wire. I here counted on the leisure, if a lamb should just be thrown into the river from the right bank, it should still be carried on the left. The river is turning.

“You are a man of head, Petrovich,” his masters supported him, “therefore the boss. Next time I’ll buy a pig. Do you know pigs bite?

“They bite,” Petrovich smiled, “the wolf can even bite. I still think that if reasoning well, the rope had to be tightened. Only not to bring the lamb, but to take the vodka and go to the whole herd at once.

The President of Turkey thanked the Georgian authorities for anti-Russian statements in the midst of the tourist season.

I watched TV – the soul is happy, opened the refrigerator – I want to cry...

Someone was nervous in the street. I was curious, so I looked out the window. There, a number of cars were parked along the road. But carelessly so, his ass stumbled and prevented Zhipa from passing.

Three ducks with biceps and neck came out of it, pined on the wheels, signaled again. is useless. We took the food of the minibus, tried to lift - and the fig there.

A man passed by and helped. From the entrance came a man in a red shirt - and he was attached. At the fifth, they also raised and turned the microneedle smoother.

The catches shrugged everyone’s hands, sat down in Zip and left.

A man in a red shirt was driving a minibus and left.