We filmed three or four years ago with friends-colleagues “three” for three. Since my room was adjacent to the place of common gathering (the kitchen) and we worked alternately, I often woke up from an uncontrolled whistle. I had to get up and remind you of inappropriate behavior.

But one day they came to the end. I wake up from the fact that they light my face with a lamp and pull my shoulders, and the one who was less attached to his worthless life, even scratched my cheeks. Snooping from the light of the lamp and loudly flattering from unheard of boldness, I say about the following: “Sky! They quickly ran into the rooms. You are completely upset, fucking! If I get up, I will kill you!”

I open my eyes, and on me from all sides, with eyes the size of five ruble coins, interns of the gastrointestinal department of the Taganskaya hospital. “It’s a reaction to anesthesia,” a surgeon (a surgeon for feminism) found with smaller eyes.

The operation to remove the appendix was successful, I completely forgot about it.

Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu. Sleep paralysis is the most unpleasant thing I have encountered lately. And just before his attack I dream of some nightmares that are projected into my bedroom while I am lying paralysed muscle.

bbb: I started cuddling from this attraction, and it doesn’t come back.

ccc: Because he understood that he was pleasing to you

DDD: Like men are shorter.

A normal state does not fight the poor, it fights poverty.

I have already told the story of three times before my nose trying to throw a pack of money (dollars) so that I could raise it, and so on. (Well, standard fraud of the 90s and early 2000s).
At the same time, I had not yet imagined (for the first time) that this was a fraud, but – my natural honesty did not allow me to “get on the pitch” of a rather primitive scheme, exploiting, mostly, the greed of the victim.
Recently told in the newspapers about another "improved" version of about the same fraud - already with the use of "high-tech", namely - ATMs.
When I read this, I stumbled on my head.
It turned out that a month ago I was also wanted to "divorce" on the "banking machine scheme", and I - again, as in the 90s, did not "buy", and the scammers washed, not salted.
It looked like this: a dark November evening, I want to take money out in the ATM on the first floor of the office building (there is free access from the street). The time is about 18:30, the main mass of office staff has long run away, so I am surprised that the row of two men to the Sberov ATM, and the first, quite small, takes the money off, I take the row for him, and the second for some reason immediately adjusts to the row behind my back, and his height is below 190, and he weighs 140 kilograms. Sometimes I don’t immediately feel very comfortable starting with such an impressive uncle behind my back in a separate room of a empty office building, and still in the dark hours of day.
Nevertheless, I need to withdraw 20 thousand rubles urgently to repay the debt, another ATM needs to be searched for another half an hour, so I heroically stand and wait for access to the promised click of the ATM.
A crazy man in front of me for a long time rapes a bankomat and finally runs out into a dark street.
I breathe with relief, move closer, and I see that the guy has not taken the money that is running out of the bankomat gap. The ATM at the same time with a human voice whispers that in 30 seconds the money will be squeezed back if it does not take it right now. The reflex works – I pick up the money and place it in the same ATM next to the adjacent horizontal surface. After that, in an attack of human love, I run out to the dark street and say, "Man! The money is yours!” Of course no one responds. I go back to the ATM, I see that wide-armed man who turns his gaze from me to money, from money to me. I say to him, "Now I'll give the money to the guard, he will then give the man when he guesses to come back." I would add that the money, by feeling (I did not count them) was a thousand-three-four, not more. Interestingly, I wonder why the man, having spent at least 10 minutes on raping the ATM, left without receiving his money, while escaping after all the torture "at the most pathetic moment", when the ATM feeds, flashes the bulbs and shows the message: "Receive your money!"
A wide-hearted man grabs the money, screams to me, “I’ll catch him now!“And he runs away. I easily get the 20,000 I need from my card and go home.
And only then, after reading in the newspaper about the scheme of this "divorce", I realized the whole danger of the situation.
If I put the money in my pocket (and I would still count them before this), the "dispersed owner" would instantly appear and say that there was not actually 3,000 rubles, but 23 or 33,000 rubles, respectively, I would owe 20-30 thousand or more, while the broader man "would confirm" that the money was much more, "and your fingerprints are on all banknotes, so we call the police."
As usual, the Russians are terribly afraid of dealing with the police, so that 20-30 thousand of each equipped guys would be virtually guaranteed. By the way, it is not the fact that behind the corner was not a feeding policeman (or just a partaker in a police shirt and with a lip shirt).
Gradually I realized with what details of my behavior I destroyed the fraudulent scheme:
1) I did not recalculate the money, and took a packet of banknotes for REBRO (my prints were almost impossible to find with all the desire)
2) Immediately put money not in the pocket, but outside the ATM.
2) After a second-and-a-half ran to catch the "victim" (which obviously could then be calculated by surveillance cameras - well, I understood it after a couple of days of reflection)
3) The commander immediately said of the desire to immediately give the money to the guard, i.e. Even the thought was not to leave money for yourself (“Eye, is it money, dear?”)
In short, people, be careful! (c) the

We built the world’s first cosmodrome that started landing earlier than launch.

It was long ago. We found somehow two puzzles, i.e. my brother and I, 8 kg. A cup of magnesium. It is now that children will look at the metal, shake their shoulders, and go further into the screens to smoke, and then the pioneers knew exactly what it could be used for. You have understood, right?



In general, having a virtually unlimited stock of precious metals, we began to consider less than our dignity to go to the courtyard, or even to school without a decent ammunition petard. And everything would be fine, but the daily stroke of the pepper with a dracula stitch began to be terribly stressful. The demands are growing, and the mosquitoes are also rubbing reluctance. The decision came suddenly, as always.



We matured in the closet of the worker, who in the evenings was carrying a circle of "young handle" disks and asked to use a day. At home, they put him in a stitching machine and, covering the vicinity of the machine with a film, in one evening they took all the straw on the stoves, not even sweating very much. And you can imagine how they look like 7.5 kg. The Magnesium? That’s almost an entire box from the TV. Our joy had no limits. We pulled the box into our secret headquarters on the roof and arranged production.



Our walks were always accompanied by canonade, the authority among the puzzles grew incredibly, and here again, suddenly, a thought was born, which played a fateful role. In other words, you can bark! It is said – done! Production went to the mass level, a prize order was prepared. A small petard of the class “chop!” It cost 5 cops. A medium-powered ammunition “Huyak!” and 10 cop. A heavy “delay!” A total of 25. More power to build did not become, because of the TB had notion. Business predictably took off, everything went fine, until one terrible day everything was covered with a magnesium snail.



One young dwarf used the most powerful of our products, and instead of throwing the source of increased danger away, he began to look stupidly at the smoke rising from the incense of PIZDIK. How fucking here!

Remember, I said that we had an idea about TB? This alone saved us from far more serious consequences than the suffocation of business and the blue ass. Dolboyeba was only slightly injured, his arm was quite heavy and the fucker was squeezed with blemishes from the explosion. Nevertheless, his parents arranged his interrogation with a bias and struck where he needed to go.



In the morning, we were struck straight from the classroom by the military (then they were in each school) and led us to the director, where we realized that we had PIZDIK. Among those present were:

1st Strictly Strictly Strictly Strictly Strictly Strictly Strictly Strictly Strictly Strictly Strictly Strictly Strictly Strictly 1.

2nd Demonstratively holding for the belt and curvely smiling daddy - 1 piece.

Three Clothed Valerian and Validol class leader - 1 piece.

4 is The most terrible person is a real one.

5 is Strongly holding us for the ears of the aforementioned soldier - 1st.

6 is Local - 1st

After a cross-interrogation (we, as true pioneers, did not acknowledge the strategic residues of raw materials) we were discharged first on the urgently organized line and in the classes, and at home it became quite bad.



Did you see the baccarat? Our buttocks for a long time became the same saturated color, and only on the third day appeared green. Students from all over the school came to see them, and some parents led them to look at disobedient children in order to intimidate them.

For the demonstration of the blue ass, we took five kopecks per person, but this is a different story.



Such business was stifled, fucking... Author - StSoton.

I was taken by a colleague to the house, and the conversation for some reason went about his family.



My colleague here as a breakthrough - started complaining about his wife, said, without a reason jealous of every shirt, suspects of all mortals...



And he was very upset by the fact that his wife was upset by the fact that there was a neighbor’s phone number in his phone:

And I what? My neighbor and I had nothing. I slept once and that’s all.

By analogy with "your glow" and "your majesty", I propose to introduce an appeal to the figures from the party of the bigotry - "your bigotry".

I started to go to school in the damned Soviet times. In our first "B" there were 42 people, and the teacher somehow had the patience and authority to keep us all in touch. Then it was adopted that in the classroom cleaning (washing boards and floors) the children themselves - according to the schedule of duty, in pairs. I do not remember that it was somehow stressful, on the contrary, it was perceived rather as a pleasant variety, a glimpse: for example, before washing the board, we actively painted it. But then, of course, everything was cleaned up :-). But there was an understanding: if you "gaped" somewhere, then you will have to wash. The same drawings on the batches after increased rubbing with powder (during a couple of duty) no longer wanted to resume :).
Now the kids get stressed! You cannot force them to clean up the class – it is the exploitation of child labour. The cleaning of the class is on the shoulders of parents. The school is responsible for cleaning the hallways. And parents are free to decide on their own - either hire a cleaner or clean it themselves.
I chose the second option - after daily 10-12 hours at the computer, I wanted variety and cooling. Under the music and audiobook the cleaning went like by oil. And only one thought saddened: and how to explain to the children that it is necessary to respect the work of cleaners, if the children themselves do not feel what it is to clean up the garbage and dirt?

Arkasha had been fishing all day and had not caught anything.
On the way home, I went to a fish shop to buy a couple of carpets.
The Seller:
“Arkasha, your wife called me here and told me that today you caught a forel.

It was before to dig out another hole, and now it is called to sell housing at the stage of cutting.

I went to my friend at the car workshop. We sit down, we talk, we drink coffee.
With a thunderstorm and a scratch, a broken "six" enters the gates. From the cabin, a Roma camp will be discharged: Dad, Mom, 5-6 Roma. Someone comes out of the luggage.
“Well, fuck, the Indians have come. It will start now!
I: What will start? Why the Indians?
Friend: - Now you will see how the Indians changed the beaver skins for glass beads.
The main Roma approaches us, shining with golden teeth:
Guys, I would like to change the glue. There is no money, there is a magnet.
My friend: Do you understand?

Are you single?
- No, charged and I want to shoot!

Once I was in college, a class that started at 8 a.m. Many grandparents and grandparents died in that semester. Then I postponed the class for 15 hours. The deaths stopped. This is how, friends, I save lives.

My friend and I worked on HTML websites. Simple business cards for hairdressers, shops, etc. I took a penny for keeping my pants.

Then a business lady came out and called us for a meeting. We met in the dining room of a dull business center, where food is not cooked, but heated. The business center was so terrible that we drove 15 minutes from Tushinskaya. On the bus, and then another 20 minutes walk, through some field in the fierce frost.

They came to the meeting, the first 20 minutes the girl used terms such as “target audience”, “coaching”, “digital revolutionary” and so on. He looked at us like a fool, as a director.

Then she laid before us a few sheets of drawings (a pencil from the hand) and told the essence of the project, so within a month we had to create her a mixture of VKontakte (which just appeared) - youtube and yandex - a global site combining all the other sites, so that each person and business had their own page. The world conspiracy.

We, of course, stumbled on, but we explained intelligently that it was incredibly difficult, long and most importantly expensive. The answer to this question is “%Ui, we work.”

We looked around and asked how the lady was going to pay for development, servers, etc.

What I got the answer:

Are you stupid? You know how much money we get from advertising. That is billions of dollars! I offer you 20% of the profit for development!

And then my friend said, we will definitely take on the project! Only without you! We don’t need you, thank you for the idea.

You would see her face. The number of misses that night exceeded all available limits.

You look at the current heads of the force structures and think: When will he finally acquire the title of a deceased general?

I boarded a subway car. I usually drive at the end of the car – I stand next to the small three-seater benches. And the place in the middle is occupied by a small, but very intelligent look of an uncle with a huge cat carrier, which has solid sticks on the sides and on the sides, and in which sits an impressive look of a black and white cat.

And next to them sits a cute girl in a short shirt and a fun jacket.
The cat immediately became interested in the girl, more precisely, her knees (very tempting by the way), and even more precisely the socks that were on the girl's legs, and immediately pulled his leg to them. The girl does not see harassment — she looks to the other side. The cat pulls the leg, pushing out of diligence the tongue, robbing predatory fingers with the nails.

The owner also got distracted. The cat had almost reached, as the girl saw the hairy scarf and so elegantly, female, turned her knees to the other side. The cat pulled his leg and insulted.

A puppy, not a hooligan. You are a educated cat — polently asked his owner and also moved off the cat car.

I will not tell you about all of the punches, but specifically this copy, in addition to education, clearly had a lot of merits. For example, treachery, vengeance, sabotage, hypnosis, guerrilla, theft and business.

Ponchik understood that it would not burn out with the socks, pulled both his legs out of the front wall of the cage and tried to kiss anybody. Everyone prudently retreated. The cat breathed, released an impressive mocked tail from the catch, and revengefully haired the girl's shirt with black and white wool. After this, he stumbled into a huge black and white mocked ball, put out his ears from the top of the cat car and began to gently look at others.

The girl, unexpectedly asking her uncle, “Can you?” grabbed Ponchik in her ears. The cat covered one eye and said nothing.

Through the station, the beast got bored and began to roll in the cage, crushing the cat owner in addition to the catch. At the shy “Ponchik, no stop,” the cat laughed disgustingly and continued to roll around the cage with a stunned “ego-gay.”

Then the girl got the phone. And on the phone was a mess: a hand-wrapped brush of multi-colored threads. The cat lost the gift of speech. And then he found her and struck the sticks with his whole face, so that his nose and eyes swelled even further from the cage.

O O O O O O O O O O!!! The cat said, “I can’t give you this wonder you can’t love it forever!”! to

The MMM? I did not understand the girl at first.

This is magical!! The cat said convincingly. He thought a little and added, “Cats. Aa to?

The girl smiled, pulled off her handcuff from the phone and asked the cat’s owner, “Can you?” He was upset, the drum: “Ponchuk, how are you not ashamed?” but then sneezed.

The cat was delighted, carefully took the brush with his teeth and immediately hid somewhere deeper in the loaded (or overwhelming, like a kangaroo) pocket. Then he hanged his leg from the carrier and stumbled, suppressing the noise of the subway.

So they drove to the end - the girl smoothed the cat's leg and smiled to some of her thoughts. The owner of the cat just smiled and probably thought that it would be good to buy a deaf carrier with a hole for air and on the wheels. And what Ponchik thought nobody knew, because, anyway, he was an educated cat.

The fiery deputy tribune Yarova: “If we now allow to transfer all senators and deputies, then crime will come to power.” I am embarrassed to note: if senators and deputies are planted, then crime is already there.

I talked to a client of our company. I learned that she has a twin sister. I started discussing this topic, and at some point I jokingly asked the question:



What is the worst thing a twin can do?

Go to porn.



This is indeed a terrible thing.)

xxx: When I was 27, I was taught to debba in GDB by a girl who was 24. She has a driver under Linux Kernel wrote =) Very nice, contrary to stereotypes.

Yyy: Just Sanya didn’t cut her hair then.