bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №98228
 21.05.2014
Previously, the ladies fought for the cavalry, and now for the rosette.
--------
Pfff, I had more pics in the universe. Lecturing audience, I’m almost going to sleep on the gallery, four boys are sitting behind. I hear badly:
Do you bring? Let’s get it, Lamarck.
Sleep retreats a little, interest makes you turn back. My thoughts revolved from maps to a half-liter, but I did not expect to see the next scene:
With the words "Temptation, boys" a guy from the edge gets....!coat! The extender. Then I realized how boring I was.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98227
 21.05.2014
>>:When the younger is 18, we will divorce and I will fall on the fox. How did you get your shit...
Well, you are a pig.First of all, so to speak about a wife, she has no merits, but stupid conversations all the time?Or do you no longer see them and the only thing that holds these children?You, of course, white and furry, no shortcomings of you she never tolerates, don't forget you are the only god.And she is generally aware that you don't like this or you brave silence until eighteen years old, let it be a surprise, yes.Why problems solve, courageously and tolerate until the eighteen years younger and we cast out all joke at once, let it be glad.And generally find out if she doesn't want to tolerate until eighteen, for there will be a chance and time to find a man who will love her, not under the age of old.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №98226
 21.05.2014
The news:
The Ministry of Defense of the Russian Federation does not understand how far to drive troops from the borders of Ukraine.

Let’s go to America, further from the border with Ukraine. Let the chickens calm down.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №98225
 21.05.2014
There is no future for those whose dreams are measured in money. Regardless of the price.
And my future cost $90 for an ampoule. I have imperfect osteogenesis. Wages were paid for products/products, so there was no money. With difficulty my parents borrowed money from relatives and took me to Moscow for examination. It turned out that the medicine able to strengthen my bones is worth the above amount. Then my mother died, my father left and I stayed with my grandfather. At the age of 12, the doctor warned us that during the period of intense growth, my spine will not withstand body weight and will just crumble and you need to start cutting this medicine (such as it is prescribed to patients with cancer). But there was no money. Grandfather was old for work, and pensions for disabled people were very sad at the time.
I am now 32. At the age of 15, I was really upset, suffered 5 fractures in a row during this same period of growth and my self-esteem due to appearance fell to zero. And on the face like beautiful, raised, I work, but I am not a gorbun of very high growth. You can’t imagine, but even my attempts to find a girl with physiological problems somehow failed because of my appearance and physical abilities.
People are not made happy by money, but by opportunities provided by money.
by ps. There must be a joke. The opera has corrected the phrase "MultiVibrator" to "MultiVibrator". It may be because it really gives some housewives some pleasure.

[ + 35 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98224
 21.05.2014
This is about sandals with socks.
I now have a nail on the thumb of my right foot of a dark purple shade (small shoes + 30km running). Wearing closed shoes is equivalent to torture, wearing open shoes without socks is unesthetic, plus dirt falls into the nail bed, which can lead to rot. So here’s what I wanted to say with this – you’ve gone in the ass with your rules.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98223
 21.05.2014
Conversation in the evening with my husband (they use the Gmail mail for correspondence at work)
My mail was sent yesterday! We wrote that they suspect spam, because the correspondence and file forwarding is too active))) They will check and in a day will be disrupted if all norms.
I: What should be) I propose employers to introduce a new criterion of work activity by the number of banks per month. There are no banks - you work figo))

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №98222
 21.05.2014
Wives are deceitful. They themselves with barefooters wear capron tracks (shortened body colour socks), and on men the barrels are rolled because of socks.
She twisted her ankles three times because of her naked sweaty feet in leather barefoot. Do you know SHO? Let it be "like a village", but it’s a whole pitch.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №98221
 21.05.2014
to this:

The xxx:
moved to Thailand. Warm regions - donkeys, hexons, insects. Cleaning in the kitchen turned out to be an impenetrable quest: I mix the garbage in a bunch, and it runs back around the corners!!! to

If it runs out, it is food, not rubbish.
Thailand is like that. =) is

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №98220
 21.05.2014
About medical names. of Israel. In one, really large hospital. Urology-Goldwasser (golden water), Goldhammer neurology (golden hammer), gynecologist Goldfinger (golden finger) and therapist Doctor.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №98219
 21.05.2014
In the coffin. What I’t believe if I didn’t see myself:

Thread: Damn
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №98218
 21.05.2014
Today I learned that the driver of GAZELI who cut your bus is called GAZEL

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98217
 21.05.2014
by Coolrodion:
I have classmates in the UK all the wall in recipes, all kinds of bakeries and so on, and the last post is how to lose 10 kg in a week.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №98216
 21.05.2014
here here :

From the news:
In the Lower Tagil, a drunk man walked down the balconies on the seventh floor and asked to smoke.
by Tagil!! to

— — — —
A real case will tell you what is called about a familiar acquaintance. It was a new year. The company sat, walked, signed a lot. Sometimes I smoke on the balcony. And then they noticed that no one had seen a peach for a long time. It probably wasn’t 2 o’clock. No one came out of the house, that’s true. And there is a bell at the door, we open, there he is on the threshold, curved, but happy. In general, this miracle fell from the balcony of the 6th floor and at 4m caught in the linen ropes, they were there from a powerful wire, as it turned out later. There he knocked into the apartment, he was opened, without questions sat down at the table. So he walked with them until he remembered whom he had come to visit.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №98215
 21.05.2014
With these complexes:

bbb: Conchita managed to hang complexes to both sexes at once :) Her figure is more chic than most women, and her beard is more chic than most men.
– – – – –
Conchita has a very ordinary figure of a subtle man. Apparently, he does not even have a silicone chest, hips are absent, wide shoulders are present. If you consider the male figure more elegant than the female, you go to Europe, to your fellow men. The beard looks unnatural. Probably, the skin underneath it is painted, just as women paint their eyebrows. This creates the illusion of density and uniformity. I don’t even know how to complex, looking at the bearded grandmother.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №98214
 21.05.2014
XX: We just have fairy employers. They make a print screen, print it on a black-and-white printer, make inscriptions on the print with a pen, scan it, insert it into word, make a print screen of the word sheet – and this is what they send us.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №98213
 21.05.2014
What is life? A puppy battle!
The empty hustle!
The whole evening I wrapped the veins of bpitva,
She cries, but it doesn’t matter.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98212
 21.05.2014
I used to think that crab sticks were made of crab meat.
Then I found out that it was from the fish filet.
Yesterday the cat refused to eat them and started buriing. I don’t know what to think here...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №98211
 21.05.2014
As our company decided to go to a restaurant, my companion (he has a little daughter) decided to book a place on the phone and he calls there, his manager asks how many of you will be, my companion, breaking off the phone, turns to us, well, how many of you people, begins to count, and says to us five people, here his daughter interferes in the conversation and declares - I am not a human, I am a shark, a companion immediately corrects: we are four and one small shark))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98210
 20.05.2014
The morning of work:
XX: I am tired
XX: I want love
XX: so that for a century
Better to sleep.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98209
 20.05.2014
And yet in non-Russian my favorite - the phrase "here you are holy prostate!"

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