I re-read “Anna Karenina” and pay attention to the foreign workers of that time – a French servant girl, an Italian feeder, a German watchmaker, a Jokey Englishman, etc.
To cool down, once gastarbayters in Russia were outsiders from Western Europe.

The case was at the beginning of the zero, if I am not mistaken, in 2000, on the day of the presidential election.

Everyone went to vote, and I stayed at home, there were “mamkin” robbers, “papkin” conspirators.

They just didn’t have a plan, as I understand, for the question “who is there?” It was given simply a brilliant answer to “your,” and to the clarificing question “who?“The answer did not follow. They thought, knocked again and said it was Santa Claus, then it was summer, my childhood logic couldn’t merge two facts and I didn’t open, but they morally pressed me and asked to open the door, it was hard, but I didn’t open.

In the end, they did not leave, but returned to their parents, asking, "What are you doing here?“They just gave a brilliant answer, ‘time wanted to know’ and left.

This is how on the election day I met with fraudsters and thieves as symbolic))

My son 16. I brought my girlfriend home today to meet her parents. With us, of course. We sat down and drank tea with biscuits. They talked, the son went to accompany her. I say to my husband:

You know, I did not like her. Absolutely not liked.

Andrei answered:

DAK is normal. I had only two girlfriends during my youth. My mom didn’t like both.

Did I like it?

“You are the second,” he says.

My friend’s wife works in an office right in front of my house. In the evening and at night (including on weekends) I often see that there is light there. And a friend regularly complains that his wife barely sleeps at work. In general, her place of work has already become a parable in our languages, as the designation of the slave gallery.

And here, one Friday evening, when the time has already passed 22 hours, I look out the window, see the light burning in two cabinets. And somehow without a back-thinking photo made and sent the koreš to the vatsap with the words "and the office all pachet writes". To my surprise, he immediately called me back and asked when I took the photo. I just answered. He dropped the phone and immediately called a video call, asking me to show him the building in front of my windows. I already start to suspect something is wrong, but I do what he asks.

At the end, he knocked something like “Here’s the fucking...” and pressed “Remove.”

The salt was the following. His faithful woman told him that she would work until night, so let her go to bed without her. And in the photo that I sent him, this is a disappointment, the light in her office did not burn. A friend broke up, took a taxi to the office, stood up at the entrance and called his wife. She answered and asked, “Where are you?” She boldly said, “I told you, I am at work!” But further she did not expect, the comrade asked her to go out on the doorstep, says, say, I went past here, thought to jump. Naturally, she began to try her best to drive him home, but instead, her husband went inside, talked to the guard, looked at the key transfer journal (it turned out that the key from their office was handed over a few hours ago), and even persuaded the guard to allow her husband to go through the office to look for him. But who could have thought, it wasn’t there.

Home she flew literally five minutes after the arrival of her husband and tearfully explained, telling some mystery about a girlfriend, who desperately needed her attention and help, and about the job deceived... and somehow the same came out, with the fear that you stood up, you don't believe me what, I can at least be happy to call her, why should I actually deceive you?

And here is my friend sitting now thinking. He seems to understand that she is a deer from him, and can not decide to take a radical step. I’m glad I haven’t had time to have kids yet, or I’d be mad at all. And, on the one hand, you do not want to believe that she is betraying him, and on the other hand - an adult person, and has not had time to see such a thing in life, he understands everything perfectly and does not want to believe in fairy tales.

And I sit, listen attentively to him, and I think, "Isn't it my fault? Did I destroy my family?” But for myself I decided that in such a situation I would rather know the truth than be content with blissful ignorance. This story was written together with him, suddenly, who thought what healthy will say, or maybe someone himself has gone through this, specific advice will help.

Do you want to live long?

Do not hurry to live.

In the winter, after a heavy snowfall, I saw a neighbor cleaning the snow in front of the house. He greeted her and asked why Serega, her husband, did not help her. Reply to:
One of us had to stay at home and take care of the children. The coin was thrown.
You are not lucky to have lost.
On the contrary, I won!

Why is every new toothpaste always recommended by only nine out of ten dentists? Who is the 10th person who doesn’t always like everything?

I went out at night and went to sleep. Approximately 12 days:

Is this Alexey 56?

Yes Yes

Do you own a brand N car?

Yes Yes

Your son in a drunken state committed an accident and entered the bus at the address: Orenburg, N Street, intersection between N and NN houses.

Why did he not call me? Can I talk to him?

He gave his phone in the pledge that he will not hide from the place of the accident, and himself is afraid to call.

What do you want?

Seventy thousand. Translate to map.

Not a lot?

and no. The injuries are small, but he is drunk. And this is deprivation of rights, a fine of 30 thousand and a criminal case. Okay, let’s get 50, the son said you have that money.

well well

Now I’ll send you a SMS with your number, translate it there.



I close my eyes and try to fall asleep. SMS is coming. I ignore. Ten minutes later, she says: If you don’t transfer money within five minutes, we’ll call GIBDD.



I turn off the phone. and call. I have no son at all, ladies and gentlemen.

My daughter has been to the dentist three times, she is 5 years old. At one even mention of this doctor, she had an absolutely inadequate hysteria and tears of grim. The fact is that for the first time our grandmother took her for treatment and made a number of mistakes. Instead of leaving the reception, she almost forcibly put her in a chair and held her while trying to cure her tooth. Fuck the Truth? (Al my grandmother is quite normal and loves her granddaughter very much.) This is a prehistory...

I thought for a long time what to do with this phobia. We watched videos of how the teeth were treated, the teeth were treated with all the toys, we talked about what and why the doctor would do, even once I went to the extremes and tried to bribe the child, everything was useless. And the doctors were mega kind and patient, who tried to play, talk, show their instruments. I came to the idea that I needed a positive experience and a pleasant association with the doctor. What do all children love? Gifts and when they are praised! I told my daughter in advance that we are going to the dentist, and there is a competition (for her challenge, she loves the word 😁) for the most brave patient, and the main prize for the whole day in the amusement park. Her reaction was not as I expected. She cried and panicked. “I’m not going, I’m afraid!” I thought it was a fiasco. But after half an hour, she herself said that we were going to the dentist and right now would be desirable. and #128514;

The next morning, I handed over the diploma to the doctor in advance, asked to play me. I was very worried that it would not go according to plan. For example, she would still sneeze and even later be more upset that she didn’t win, and she would get some little toy instead of entertainment.

Everything went according to plan! She sat quietly, opened her mouth, tolerated when she was hurt. I was upset with my daughter. And the doctor was good, solemnly handed out the certificate and type tickets for the attractions (previously printed them in the printing).

This is how the desire to get to the amusement park defeated the fear of the dentist! And formed positive emotions on the dentist.

Wealthy power is simply not given to anyone, it has to be laid out for 33 years.

“Don’t be angry with your neighbors before you sell your house” or “80th-level trolling from Americans.”

She lived in a small American town, many of which are scattered on the map, an ordinary family - Mom, Dad and a couple of early teenage obultus. They lived quietly in their “living society” (HOA for those who knew, the “living cooperative” with its rules, plugs and turmoil), did not touch anyone and did not light up much.

Once a year in the spring, they opened their garage, rolled out their barrel on the trail in front of the house, with which the garage was closed a little less than entirely, and did general cleaning. And they would continue to do so quietly to this day if no new neighbors settled in the house opposite.

The first thing they had to do in their house was to have a cool repair, and after a short time they suddenly decided that the house would have to be sold and go on - to look for new happiness. We exhibited the house for sale in the spring, and then the general cleaning of the neighbors was done.

And here the Cold Neighbor (CS) in anger appears on the doorstep of the house and begins to sink with claims, that, say, have broken up here a hoodie, redneki edakie, his barrachlo, whose place has long been on the laundry, placed in front of the house, as in a Gypsy camp, and to us, by the way, serious people look at the house come and want to buy - and how can I sell them in advance, when there is such a laundry on the other hand? Well, they cleaned everything quickly inside and did not spoil the aesthetic appearance of the community, reducing the cost of my house, until I found the right to all and wrote the necessary statements...

The family would be happy to try, and the CS is already carrying big, say, all the houses you have here are small, we have done normal repairs for a lot of money, we want to earn a lot when selling, and you are here to ruin all the raspberries with your mess.

The family kicked their heads, pulled the barrel into the barrel, the children's bicycles were removed from the door, and the lawn was made an extraordinary haircut. And this would end the story, but when Ostapa has already suffered, he obviously won’t stop. Therefore, the head of the family found a terrible letter from a residential association a couple of days later, where he was promised all kinds of punishments for the violation of the appearance and grass a centimeter longer than according to the GOST. And, as if the neighbors are not mentioned anywhere, but it is immediately clear where the wind blows so sharply for the first time in the long years of life in the house.

And the housewife hid a quiet redneckovsky anger on the neighbor. No, no one started to burn the neighboring house, no one smashed the doors with feces, and no one started to insert potatoes in the silencing of the parked car. She just looked at the website with houses for sale, how much a nervous neighbor put her house, and then went to the local Walmart, bought there for $4.99 a plastic plaque HOUSE FOR SALE ("House for Sale"), wrote on it a price of interest 30 lower than the one a neighbor asked for her house, and placed in front of her house, crossed the beautiful inscription SOLD ("Sold!") above the writing. So that, of course, the sign was perfectly visible from the road to all potential buyers coming to see the house.

“Happy sales,” she thought. and what. It is hard to argue with neighbors.

(c) Not mine, from the spaces of redit

What do you do instead of parking?? to
The church is built. We need the church very much. Let us pray for parking.

Recently, my neighbor’s laundry machine broke. began to understand. Probably the cause of sludge. They wiped out the water, turned off the filter and... found a socket.

It turned out that he jumped under the drum and went further, down the current.

The mystery of the disappearance of one socket is uncovered, we all break up.

There are more good people in the world. But our lives depend on the bad ones.

Where we are not.

In 1990, the capital of sunny Ethiopia - the city of Addis Ababa. At the time, there were about a million inhabitants, including a couple of dozen Soviet diplomats and several hundred Soviet military advisers and members of their families.

To say that diplomats disliked the military would probably be an exaggeration. Rather, it was some arrogant contempt of the aristocrat who discovered a Roma camp near his mansion. Families of military personnel, accustomed to the joyous conditions of life in remote garrisons, calmly perceived such "discomforts", as life in the midst of slums, the absence of a personal car or one TV on the whole apartment residential house, and that shows only one channel four hours a day. The ambassadors lived better, and their supplies were better. In short, in order not to confuse the minds of the holograms who were unstable from a sudden departure abroad, military personnel and members of their families were prohibited from visiting the territory of the embassy (except for children attending the embassy school). The argument was simple: “Officially you are not here.”

I must say that in a sense they were right. Officially, the only Soviet soldier on the territory of the People’s Democratic Republic of Ethiopia was a Soviet military attache, who was permanently in the territory of the same embassy. The rest were officially Cubans. His father, like all other military advisors, carried the Cuban military uniform without distinction. Passports were collected from everyone after crossing the border, and were issued back only when returning to the homeland. Well, for us, it was a puppy: many of us were not officially there then, and now too.

One day there was a significant meeting. We met a colonel from our house and either the second or third secretary of the embassy (he knows who he was, I know only that his wife, the worst aunt, was our English teacher). They met their cars. Military UAZik met with Ambassador Zhygulenko.

Here we need to stop on the cars a little more detailed. The Ambassador's car was an export "seven" snow-white color. Not a stranger, of course, but almost the dream of any Soviet man. A month from the union. The fellow diplomat himself lovingly struck her in the morning, as we drove from the school bus to the school building.

And UAZIK... well what to say, was abandoned in Ethiopia for at least 10 years before my arrival, and how much he had previously wheeled through the vastness of our vast homeland – only God knows. All beaten, all slapped. The roof was made of woven insulate, since the breeze has long broken down in the conditions of African climate (or maybe, and before that broke down, nobody knows).

And here these two loneliness met right in front of our house. Colonel UAZik decided to cross the opposite strip and go to the courtyard, the Ambassador Zhygulenko did not like it and he went to the tarantula. The result: a broken mouth of Zhygule and a messy side of the goat. The cars disappeared after a while. Gigi, of course, under the magazine. UAZik on the weekend the men leveled with a kiwi, painted - and it became in some way even better than before the accident. But then began the entertainment in the form of ambassador’s attempts to obtain compensation from the military.

Whoever had the misfortune to get into an accident involving a military car, he is aware - even inside the Motherland to get some compensation at the same time is almost impossible. But the diplomats were persistent, reminding about their demands almost every week, every time appealing to an increasingly high-ranking rank. Until, finally, at the reception on the occasion of some of the holidays (such as it was on November 7th) to the chief military adviser who was present at this reception (I don't remember the name for years) did not approach the same victim and did not start the old song about the fact that it would be good to get new Zyguli in exchange for the murdered old ones. On which, according to the testimony of individual comrades, he received from the comrade general the answer of approximately the following content:

You have always said that there are no Soviet soldiers in Ethiopia. On what grounds do you then try to demand compensation from the Ministry of Defense of the USSR? As you said before, the Cubans are here? Go to the Cuban Embassy!

The next stage of tolerance:
We must forbid the wise to think, so as not to insult the feelings of the foolish.

If you can’t buy something twice, you can’t afford it.

I have my own smartphone sales department. I figured out how to distribute leaflets on the street and I needed someone to distribute them. And here just her niece was drawing, she needed a job, why not. He gave her leaflets, showed her a place to distribute. Traffic is good and I can see everything from the window.

Well, I sit at work, I look out the window, and I don’t see people with leaflets. I went out, I looked and there was no niece. I stood for five minutes and never saw her. Half an hour later, no one came out. After two hours, I painted. I ask where was it? She replies that she went to another street and distributed there - in the neighboring neighborhood. I ask why? If my shop is here, did you distribute it there? I did not hear a reasonable answer. (Probably just fucking where she just threw out the leaflets, insulting) gave her money on the road and sent home. Fuck those workers.

Time has passed and I’ve found good launches that do their job and are always in sight. Clients come (although I’ve always thought leaflets are nonsense, but it doesn’t turn out)

And then again I painted my relative in the face of my niece with the request to get to work. I polently refused. I say there is no work. I found people. I got a very interesting answer: Yes, you fired a man and took me in their place!

P.s I did not dismiss anyone.

I was 16 or 17. My parents are not religious people, but believers. And then they decided that I had enough shit to create, and it would be time for me to go to church for confession. I had a negative attitude to this idea, for I had already doubted the existence of any divine entities at that moment (I had actually doubted, not started to deny it), and the mechanics itself, when you first do nonsense, and then, in fact, just apologize and automatically consider yourself forgiven, raised certain questions in me. For some time I managed to avoid this procedure, but at some point one of the religious holidays came, and I was forced to go to the temple with the rest of the family. And now my confession begins. I expect, without any particular enthusiasm, to start listing where I’ve crushed. Father, when he noticed this, asked me what was wrong. And I’ve always been a man, or a little more stupid than I should, or a little more stupid. Well, because of these qualities I replied, that said, I am not sure that this whole cult makes sense, and in general, uncle, what are you doing here. I was a little overwhelmed at that moment. The reaction of the priest surprised me. He, after thinking for a while, replied that I was probably right, because he himself cannot assert with absolute certainty that God exists, because he personally did not observe any evidence. Nevertheless, according to him, religion still brings practical benefits, being a kind of psychological help in certain situations. As a result, after a short conversation, we agreed that since I feel well without faith, I do not need a confession, but when it comes to the feasibility - the hell knows him, who needs to be worshipped, and who does not need - not. Such a breakdown of the pattern has not happened to me before. A great man.

and Taxi. Order has arrived. There are three Chinese. Take to the sauna from the hypermarket "Lenta". Here for a couple stops to the end point one of them asks to stop and goes out, well I think okay, can go where I need, I went on. I don’t have time to complete the order, a new one arrives, from the point where I landed that Chinese. I take, bring these two to the sauna, go back and pick up the one I landed and go back to the tape (as it turned out, they forgot the package with the products in the tape). They came to the tape, the Chinese came out, I stood and waited for the next order. The order arrives and goes out... right, the Chinese I brought here. He sits down and with his eyes open and his firm accent asks:

You are alone in the city, right?