From Yaplakal (discussing the revenge delivered to the neighbor):

Listen to the plan.
You find at home: a spade, a broken hangover, a plastic blue bag, dried milk, old canned products, an old unnecessary circle, broken glass New Year's toys (with sharp edges), a small rubber hammer.
Calculate a few days when the annoying grandmother is at home - just sit in front of the house, study habits, when it comes when it leaves, etc. Make a calendar of their activities.
You take everything listed, put it in a plastic bag and approach her door when she is home. You knock on the door with a rubber hammer. When she opens up with her shoulder until the thoughts of love for her neighbors fill her body.
A plastic bag with unnecessary things is taken to the wash. Gather clay at home.

to this:
We have cats snoring.
Wife: GGGG
Wife: Have you taught it?
Husband: I do not know ?
Wife: Sam is snoring. Athena woke up, she got up from the battery, heranced him on the leg, he turned, she fell asleep.)

Chrape, chrape, the test word is chrape!! 1

We have such an Orthodox couple at work. husband and wife. All that they condemn, and all that they are not Orthodox: and west-gnyla, and Tolkien-shizik, and computer games acta. Everything would be nothing, but they every morning to the whole office discuss who today according to the horoscope has a moon in a lamb and an unfavorable day, and how to decorate the house properly for the year of the blue horse. These are the Christians ?

She is FUCK! The frog!! to
I: What happened?
Do you remember I told you about Leish from work?
I : well?
Lena: Well, there is a beautiful one, smells good, dresses well, everything is okay, without a ring, his apartment, car, all business, flirting with everyone...
I : and?
Lena: In general, a sea of attention to me, flowers, small joys, rare meetings, restaurants went, a month cared for me, brought home... Shortly finally slept, everything was more than... he stands in my kitchen, smokes and somewhere in the window says "Interesting, and we would have done if I was NOT married" ((

Every time I choose some toilet water, I remember how in the hungry 98 at the station in the barrel I bought the toilet water "Sheriff" for 70 rubles. And she was so... that the girls just pulled from her. You go back to the shelter, and the neighbor is sitting in the room, my sweater smells. It was on the sweater that the smell became just magical. I was constantly smelled, I finally started giving up, I had a girl who wasn’t sexy in big glasses and a sweater. I saved her as much as I could, and when she ended, I and the girls were fine without her. How did she help me...

Sky: the people intensified to work in the new year and hanged the servo in contact

Purchased on the occasion in mid-December, car-free clothes for the car, such as that would not freeze and easily clean the snow if anything. And you know, it helps. A month has passed - pleased as an elephant, problems with snowing on the palaces as never before.

M: I cook better than most of my friends))
You are good :) This greatly increases your chances in the marriage market
M: It increases my chances of not dying of hunger %)

My husband is:
Damn, turn off the light!
I am :
- You ask wrong, start with the word "dear"!
The husband:
Dear... dear electricity, turn off the light!

If you want to post 40 years ago, please:

An intelligent person must be able to distinguish.
– – – – –
Gogol of Hegel,
Hegel of the Baby,
Baby from Babylon.
Babel from the cable.
Cable from Cable.
A cow from a fucks.
– – – – –
A man from a decent woman.

Cats are such artists, fucking... I put on the cat a shale - and he has his legs scorned and spit on the side. I check, it doesn’t go anywhere. The cat is lying, hearty, looking with sad eyes. It was only necessary to pull out a piece of cheese and put it in a bowl - hurra, the cat went! He was born as if nothing had happened. Then the cheese ended, and the cat’s legs were rejected again.

111: üfüfüfüfüfü
You laugh like a real German :D

The country can be proud of you, another employee of McDakota.
I’m working in construction, to be precise, I’ll work. And my wife works in a car factory (let’s not talk about what). Now, visiting friends with young children stopped going, or it is somehow embarrassing when in any conversation five out of seven words are a good match.
_____
Chuvak, I am a journalist and we have in our editorial office such a mat in a normal working environment that the carpenters, who sometimes come to us, ask them to be silent. At home, of course, I do not have time to rebuild, because I sometimes work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. But my grandmother, who worked for 40 years as a freezer in the factory, has not spoken a single motherly word in her whole life. Moreover, she calls Garika Sukacheva "Stukachev", because she cannot otherwise pronounce this surname. There are different people. And I, and my father, and even my strict grandfather, try not even to say a word about her - we fear that she will get bad from our words. And it wasn’t so now, when she was 70, it was so all her life.

News "The FBI is sending agents to Russia. U.S. intelligence services will help ensure the security of the Olympic Games in Sochi.
vovka coach: “Here they will be surprised to see how many Uzbek and Tajik are in their service) almost every cap with the inscription of the FBI.

After each GDP speech/interview, I understand that answering a question without linking the answer to the question is a gift.

Normal people do things at the last moment, but smart people do things on time.

SPB_Auto is on the air again:

xxxx
you put a tail in the car - after such a hassle you brake off you approach and say look what damage you will have next time - and you crack.

UUU
I am an old engineer, I have not held anything heavier than the cursor for a long time, uncle.

xxxx
Raise your mouse in the morning.

UUU
I can’t, my back is fucking.

I have my own way of fighting SMS spam: it came from a taxi - I order a taxi somewhere in the fucking, where they are, of course, no one is waiting for them, if flowers - I order flowers, and also in the fucking... well, you understand. Join to join.

111> эххх.. was such a fun admin. Even yesterday. I took a mortgage today.
222> and what, loaded right away?
111 and gt. The sad one sits, the samsu eats.
222> well, even on samsa remains
He chews her so carefully as if he would never see her again in the next 15 years.

Listening to the staff department:

The hospital is paid. But that doesn’t mean you have to stay home and get sick.