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[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №103329
 27.09.2014
Lunch

The Emergency Bodies
and jargon. Marines of Emergency Service

The weak three-point storm is perceived somehow even epically, when you are on the deck and look and try not to lag behind the unconsciously swirling horizon. But here in the cabin, the cat turns a man into a prisoner of some furious children's attraction. Oh, there would be a window for orientation, though small, but there are no windows and can not be, because the ship is terribly military.
The stinking smell of the kitchen can’t be ignored.
And on top is good: the wind, the salt splashes in the face, the cap that flew into the Baltic Sea... Romance.
I, clinging to the chilly perils, almost shouted to the commander of our ship, a man young but already captainly bald.
Far away, five kilometers away, the same shipwreck talked about as ours, and the combat task he had was similar: to arrive at the specified time at the specified point of a distant city on Neva.
The commander shouted, pointing his hand to the distance:
- This is the corvette "Large-sighted" (although he may have called it in a different way, I will not mention it, but no less bravo) there the commander serves my fellow, a good man. Oh, his officers had already eaten, it was time for us too.
I had nothing against lunch and we went to the officer cabin company.
Moving along the belly of the ship and trying not to hit the special glands that are spinning everywhere to spot and break the skull, I suddenly thought. For me, a man of deep land, here everything was a strange thing, at first I even thought that: "Huis", "Bak", "Balan" and "Ut" are all the names of sailors, and how it turned out that only Balan was the name...
But fucking how? How, from such a giant distance, our commander established with the naked eye that the lunch and the officer’s lunch had begun at the “Dalmatianship”?

We came to the officer cabin company, the cock here was almost not felt, and maybe the sea was slightly quiet.
White scrolls, forks, knives and music. Cleanly tasty and comfortable.
After lunch, I and my filming team went to the sailors to film and their unhappy meal.
No scatters, no scissors, not even music, but as it was, and the cat sharply intensified.
The sailors, holding the dishes in their hands, barely had time to catch the baskets with unsweetened compot leaving on the table.
In general, the unshakable shipyard traditions of the days of serfdom right, from the unusual, are immediately thrown into the eye. Some teams say, “Too!” “Come out to build, in working dresses!”
And toilets and dining rooms (pardon, gallions and cottage companies) are a separate topic. The "emergency body" under the threat of death cannot visit the Mitchman toilet, and the Mitchman officer. So I remember the German plaque dusty on the roof of my Lviv house: "nur für die deutschen - only for the Germans"

And here is this fierce catch, as if nature itself had invaded against the unfortunate sailors...
But the mystery with an officer's lunch at the distant "Dalomon", I didn't stand it and turned to the guys:
- Brothers, do you know what a ship does when officers go for lunch? Which flag is raised?
The sailors skillfully jongled the soup in the plates, the evil roasted, exhausted themselves and replied:
- When the officer goes to eat, the ship changes course, turns across the waves, chooses the desired speed, so that the stabilizers of the catch work better and then the talk like never happened. And when they are eaten, the ship again returns to the previous course, and also crashes as undermined to catch time. Then we, the dogs, command to eat lunch.
How do the circles ride on the table? Sometimes they even jump through a high border.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №103328
 27.09.2014
I turned on the TV - there Putin about Ukraine. On the Internet, there is Putin about Ukraine. I bought the “Russian newspaper” – there Putin about Ukraine. Scuco, can I find out anywhere about the prospects of repairing roads in the Tambov region?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103327
 27.09.2014
xxx: I sit in the dining room and I hear such a wild cat scream from the kitchen area. I think I got the time to cook the cottage.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103326
 27.09.2014
At the lecture, the preacher complains that everyone is eating.
- As they say "on the full stomach teaching..."
The voice of the audience
... the light

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103325
 27.09.2014
We will make you energy-saving bulbs to raise the price of electricity, justifying the lower earnings.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103324
 27.09.2014
At night I fall asleep, my husband has been dreaming for a long time, decided to embrace him. He hugged me, kissed me, and continued the dialogue.
I want you, but I don’t want you...
Why is?
And you don’t have a cardana, so you’re a front-wheel drive, and I love 4WD.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103323
 27.09.2014
I add :
to this:

You laugh, and when I was a child, when I read the Bible, I sincerely thought before eight or nine years that men were giving birth. Then God had mercy on them.

— — —

And I don’t understand how Adam and Eve could have had grandchildren if there wasn’t incest.

— — —

It becomes even more incomprehensible considering that Adam and Eve had only sons. If you read the Bible, you may not be so wrong.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №103322
 27.09.2014
here here :
— — —
JohnDow: I will marry my sister. 37 years old, smart, financier, self-providing, Eburg. Write in face.
— — —

37 is a lot.
37 and not 73.
send out, but not by post of Russia, and then just to the 73rd and reach (

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103321
 27.09.2014
here here :
If you do not like contextual advertising, it is very easy to change it. I do this: I enter the search engine something like "meancoons feed", I go to a couple of pet sites - and all, you have a cat in all contextual fields! Don't forget - "the invisible hand of the market is made of delicious invisible meat" (c) xkcd
...
If you do not like contextual advertising, set yourself an adblock, and you will be lucky. A lot of happiness. Tested, the result is 100%!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103320
 27.09.2014
This smart man:

*** by
This smart
----------
In the meantime, the problem has a simple solution - when I married, I left a girl's surname and didn't change any documents!
-----------
I had a friend named Dubin, married, his wife naturally did not want to be Dubina, left her girlfriend.
A few years later, when the child in the kindergarten began to teach how to name mom and dad by fatherhood, he came home and asked:
“Mom, what are you unborn to us?
My mother thought and changed her name.
Good luck to you and your cats!
*** by

First, parents should explain to the child the name of their mom and dad, not in the kindergarten.
Secondly, a child at a young age does not realize the degree of affinity to the extent that adults can. So, with the teacher, you should find out the question of what heresy she blows in the ears of children.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103319
 27.09.2014
In the pudding:

As the boss at my previous job said, the old praporcher:
"If you are a sauer sauce, do the main job"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103318
 27.09.2014
Do you want to rinse your breasts?
Why did you wash?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103317
 26.09.2014
Morning coffee with a friend.
Why does Tolka complain about you, do not say hello, do not give hands...
- These are the guys from "copying"
and well.
“You know, Sascha, when he comes out of the toilet, he has a wet T-shirt – so hard he washes his hands. And Tolian has a wet shirt when he comes out of the cabin.
Okay we passed.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103316
 26.09.2014
Only maniacs and criminals carry knives around the city. Normal people don’t need knives. The patch can be cut off with scissors, snacks can be bought cut, and there are knives and forks in the cafe! Are you afraid of being checked out?
Give me the knife.
I haven’t cleaned the wire yet.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103315
 26.09.2014
This is:
"I am on a trip to Germany. The text message comes: "Welcome to Russia! Thank you for traveling with MTS". First thought: "We need to read the news..."
_________________________________________________________________________________________
This guy, you won't believe, the same sms came to me in the spring of last year in a taxi on the road from Kiev to the airport of Borispol.

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103314
 26.09.2014
Twenty years ago, all of Ukraine wandered that it feeds Russia, saying: “Our bread, our sugar, we separate and in two years we will live like Germany, and Russia without us will die of hunger.” Without any compassion for us. We, according to their vision, should die of hunger, which they would only be happy with. Ten years later (in the early 2000s) it became fashionable to say that Russia abandoned its brothers, left them Chernobyl and washed their hands. At the same time, they began to remember the famine and other illusions to convince themselves and everyone else that Russia owes them. 2013 - Return to the 90s, "We are in Europe, and Russia is in the ass". And here, again, Russia must again, because Crimea, Donbass and, in general, Russia wants to freeze Ukrainians. With all my tolerance for the Ukrainians and the fact that I spent all my childhood (all the holidays) in Dnipropetrovsk, today I really want to say: “Lord Ukrainians, go to *** or wherever you want there, we owe you nothing.”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103313
 26.09.2014
We played Tarot cards and it all ended up with the losers having to remove the skin.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103312
 26.09.2014
I love Sberbank. They issued for me (although nobody asked them about it) a credit card for 45 t.p. - a gift to a regular customer. For three months, I got this card. Yesterday, when I refused to get it again, the girl confidently told me that if I didn’t get this card, it would have a bad effect on my credit history and the bank would not give me a loan when I needed it. 0 0 0

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103311
 26.09.2014
Hubble, discussion of the launch of the Indian satellite into the orbit of Mars:
Ksenobayt: It’s epically cool. For India, it seems to me that such a project is like throwing a wire through the whole room, closing the eyes with one hand, and getting in the tenth – especially in the absence of experience of such developments.
Ndividuum: In Indian films and not such tricks can be seen :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103310
 26.09.2014
AAAA to AAAA!! The plague!! I read the rental agreement of the apartment, and I don’t believe my eyes....: "The tenant also undertakes to make holes in the room with brick walls." I undertakes to do holes!!!!)))) But only in the brick room))))) The secret of the eternal drillers is uncovered!!!!)))))

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