bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №91327
 19.12.2013
Wake Up for Foreign Clients

XXX is
Hi, I want to delete files but not delete, can you help me?

YYYY
Unfortunately we can’t help.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №91326
 19.12.2013
to this:
k1b0rg
If you wear a T-shirt. The frightening effect is no worse than weapons (like connecting with a psychic tearing his clothes).

Lubezny
Per, in order to enhance this effect, you can instead of a trunk under a T-shirt pull some rubbing pattern of a hooligan object (for example, a phalloimiter). As long as you pretend to be psychic, it’s all that.

k1b0rg
Not the shirt, but the pants.
___________________________________________________________________________________

There was also a speed instead of beating in the car to drive a metro pink penis :)
Someone has stunned them. He is going to write:
What were you beaten?
Emma, I’m going to go.

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91325
 19.12.2013
About the dogs:

Do not invent anything:
A dog without a pet and a master on a leash => wild.
The wild dog throws on the passers => mad.
Killing a ragged dog => a citizen’s duty.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №91324
 19.12.2013
xxx: I'm wondering how the law regulates the situation: I have two apartments, in one is prescribed and in the other I live...

Politburo of the Central Committee of the CPC(B)
Decree of 30 January 1930
On Measures for the Elimination of Kulac Households in the Areas of Flat Collectivization

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №91323
 19.12.2013
At the celebration of the city in the square stood bio-toilets. Many people gathered around them and formed rows. When people went out, they were welcomed with friendly applause, and they worshiped :) It was fun)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91322
 19.12.2013
Krasus: I have already swallowed
Krasus: took mini pizza, potato baking with meat, bread juice and salad =)
Mixnsk: is the juice of bread quas?
Mixnsk: or there is a spat

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91321
 19.12.2013
xxx: well, why do universities not move to electronic versions of all these works? It contributes to the preservation of the forests.
The full student wallet
YYY: I took all the work in electronic form
You were the right teacher. More of such.
YYY: How did it end? Sex with students!
XXX: Better than that

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №91320
 19.12.2013
"Russian officials may be prohibited from having real estate abroad".

Who can prohibit them?
The Russian officials themselves.
Wow, how terrible it is.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №91319
 19.12.2013
here here :
This is:

Once went such a drunk... a girl, 21 years old, a student of MGU, I work, 169 cm, 65 kg, cute, stupid, I cook deliciously. One, sad and virgin.

_________________________

65 kg with a height of 169 cm is a ball fed in the McDack. First drop it all to at least 48 kg.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Before writing nonsense, look at the ratio of weight and height. If you like anorexia, there are no questions.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №91318
 19.12.2013
of the Habr.

Uranium itself is radioactive.

222: Should I send you to wiki, or will you go?

111: Let’s go together, what...

Radioactive elements in the strict sense are all the elements following lead in the Mendeleev table (including vismut), as well as the elements of technetium and prometium.

222 in the strict sense. At home, you can embrace.

For the sake of humor, you can embrace anything, just some things - 1 time.

444: Well you, embrace yourself with the uranium pieces.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №91317
 18.12.2013
The local police officer does not travel to the scene of the accident for two hours. Smoking in three cars. The guys from the first:
Do we guess again and call again?
Men from the second:
- in principle, we only carried cars, there are no victims - like you can draw a scheme and go to them yourself... but you need to call: suddenly they are already going, and we have dropped - unpleasant somehow...
Echo from the third (training driving 2 months, already calling):
Hello to Gibbs? We are waiting for a patrol here, and he doesn’t go... yes, yes, this crossroads... B. EAT, you now still have to make sacrifices?? to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №91316
 18.12.2013
From the morning tweet:

@bolknote: Why Mr. Anderson? In the name of what? What are you doing? Why do you get up to work?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91315
 18.12.2013
Can a couple of Korean cuisine recipes be thrown into the "dog’s" holivar?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №91314
 18.12.2013
You have forgotten that every day at the swing of the stick, Dumbledore covered the health tables with a variety of dishes, including a ready potato.

And you all, dragging, dragging...why dragging if the fried potatoes are already on the table?)))))
_________________________________________
You... read the book. They cooked home elves there, and a swing of sticks was a signal to the elves that could be served on the table.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №91313
 18.12.2013
The employee told me yesterday.
Driving to China. Well, they go with a girlfriend to the market of some, and there the Chinese jump out of their tents and arms "Hunja! Let’s go fucking! Fuck!", and throw your finger somewhere in your shopping tent.
My friend: I think? or...
My friend: You don’t think anything. Here Russian tourists are full, the Chinese are trying to match them something, show them, and our gaze gives the conclusion of "Tyfu, Hyunya," and go on.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №91312
 18.12.2013
To everyone who writes, "Ah, and this is a breakdown, all of itself is perfect, why do I not need anyone?"
understand now. Normals are chosen not by the number of pluses, but by the disadvantages that can be tolerated. And think for a moment (and better honestly ask your friends), what is there in you that fucking covers all of your "revelation".
And then the parable:
There lived Elena the Wise and Basil the Beautiful...She is so terrible, and the other is so stupid!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91311
 18.12.2013
@archidea: I want to be immovable, but somebody is constantly slapping me.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №91310
 18.12.2013
The claim I submitted in the "Mobile Banking" section, that I cannot connect through the site the "Mobile Banking" service, because they do not receive SMS with a password, Sberbank rejected with the wording "Mobile Banking" service is not connected.

The circle closed.

[ + 27 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91309
 18.12.2013
I have a daughter: 25 years old, candidate of science, model appearance, 90-60-90, height 173, weight 68 kg, blonde, salary more than 1000 EUR (chap. A car, a car, an apartment. Everything is. What shit is she without a guy? No, I am not advertising. Just explain it.
and...
We are embarrassed.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №91308
 18.12.2013
All these idiots:
This and other girls.

Once went such a drunk... a girl, 21 years old, a student of MGU, I work, 169 cm, 65 kg, cute, stupid, I cook deliciously. One, sad and virgin.

Fuck, where are you all hiding?
25 years old looks attractive. Zp ~4000+$ I cook, clean, wash and smooth. one one.

As long as you think that people choose each other by age, weight, salary, generally accepted attractiveness parameters and all kinds of household (cooking / cleaning / washing) - you will be lonely. Decide first for yourself who you want to see next to you. Determine your brain, not patterns. It will be easier immediately.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna