bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №91687
 26.12.2013
A couple of days ago I flew into a shell with a ghost pipe (through which they spit out).
I was told that under the dishwasher there is a “cup” where all such things fly away... I looked, I turned, my hand trembled a little, the water slightly flushed out, further more accurately... I got, pulled out this hernia.

Where do you think I poured the water out of the cup?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №91686
 26.12.2013
Poor Fred : From recent news:
The Ministry of Emergency Affairs of the Tomsk region said that the aircraft had a fault sensor of the left chassis. When taking off to land at an altitude of 600 meters, the crew that the alarm was running, indicating problems with the hydro system, then requested a visual confirmation of the release of the chassis stand.

And is it impossible to equip aircraft with video cameras directed at the chassis, doors, wings, etc., to independently see the release / failure to release the chassis, the opening / failure to open the doors, etc.? to

WolferR: And why? Instead of staring at the screen, trying to find out what is happening through the dim, jumping picture, it is easier to look at the sensor indicator - the desired light bulb is lit or not.

FP-92: You probably did not deal with more or less sophisticated automatic equipment. The fact that the light bulb burned or did not burn is not always consistent with the physical performance or failure to perform the command. Especially if it did not burn.

Sukin: There are also, as far as I know, possible problems such as "outcome incomplete" and "outcome but not stuck". The most reliable thing to do over the chassis of a luke and one pilot to climb and check if everything is okay there or not. You can shake your hands and knock if necessary. The other will hold him at his feet.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №91685
 26.12.2013
xxx: read in the requirements for the vacancy: "sovereign PC user"
WOW: admired computers with their suzerene =)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №91684
 26.12.2013
Oooo, overnight started a new fight, workforce vs plankton. Everyone with the New Hollywood!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №91683
 26.12.2013
here here :

I went to "The Hobbit. I see so that, according to the Hollywood version of the elves, their genome was not crossed with the Hobbit only. But ahead is the third part...

And if the author of the quote had read the book, he would have known that one of the hobbies of the Tuck family, a parent of Bilbo on the mother’s side, had taken an elephant as his wife.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91682
 26.12.2013
Remember the book about Chuka and Heka?
OOO: Well what?
WWW: It was always interesting how their full names
www: no, well with Geck understand, et Hector
Ooooh, and Chuk then is Chuktor?

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91681
 26.12.2013
I haven’t read your dogs, but I’ll say one thing.
All cats are just cats, all dogs are just dogs.
And these people are often pirates.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №91680
 26.12.2013
to this:

God teaches us to defend our faith and His name. And this means that every plough towards the Church will not be calmly perceived by its herdsmen.
Just for information, and this is the same God who said, “Whoever hits your right cheek, turn the other to him.” 5:39), or do you have any other?

In the Gospel, Jesus says, “Whoever is not against us is with us.” He says, “Whoever is not with us is against us, and whoever does not associate with me is wasting.” The Bible is such a Bible... Everyone, if they wish, can find in this book an excuse for their wicked deeds, bitterness, arrogance, hypocrisy, lies. For 1000 years the Inquisition has worked without laying hands.
Here the chip is the same as with any other text: if it is read by a dolboeb, it will become a fanatic. If an adult who is able to analyze, he will remember Nietzsche: "Religion is a cradle for the weak in spirit." Will these crap teach me to live? 0 - O

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №91679
 26.12.2013
Is there a ride today?
I don’t know, I made the cake :)
Give me a plz.
I looked at the gun. We both signed up!
It is theater! ?
-Varu borst, nothing clear with the raid)
- Ukraine, in any unclear situation vary the borst :))))
It is :)))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №91678
 26.12.2013
He forgot his phone at home. He calls home, asking to dictate the number from the phone book. I climb into his mobile phone and see: Vladimir Petrovich 1.2, Chief 1.0, Lenka (his sister) 2.0, Serega 0.7, Wife 6.1++ and so on. In contrast to most of these numbers. I ask what the numbers are. He answered:
The coefficients.
by O_0. What?
Coefficients of expectation.
–...
- Suppose someone says "I’ll be in 10 minutes". If he is the boss, he will be there in 10 minutes. If you are a sister, it’s exactly 20. Well, if you are, my joy, it is an hour until infinity. I often get angry when people are late to meet me, so I am having fun with mathematics. You dictate the number.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91677
 26.12.2013
The news tape:
In the Penza region there was a spill of petroleum products.
The budget of the Penza region received more than 44 billion rubles of income.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91676
 26.12.2013
You know, it is so great to live in a country where you can buy absolutely everything: any thing, any documents, any services, police, statesmen, judges, and in general any people and even laws. And where natural resources do not belong to those who extract them, but to those who sell them. It is easier to live when everything has a price.
You know what sarcasm is.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91675
 26.12.2013
In general, our fucking country, with one hand introduces paid parking in the center (as long as only DS) slowly to reduce the number of cars, and the other - issues preferential auto loans to increase their number.
Apparently, the ideal auto web - which keeps the car on its balcony and does not drive anywhere on it, only makes and periodically buys a new to stimulate the economy. and c)

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91674
 26.12.2013
Real Statement of the Employer:

To restore justice in the universe, the Jedi Order recruits the Great Warriors who must have the rank of Knight Jedi PHP (junior+) or Master Jedi PHP (middle) and be supporters of Mongo DB, Node JS. and also :
- have such aspects of power as HTML, CSS, JS;
Ability to influence GIT;
Knowledge of the MVC Code;
Masters will highly appreciate Zend Framework, Yii, Symfony, CodeIgniter capabilities.
You will have to fight the encrypted user data. To do this, you will have to submit to CRM, Facebook API, VKAPI, One-Class API, deal with Sphinx resources.
To maintain the balance of forces, the Order proposes:
Competitive pay will satisfy any Jedi.
Rest under the protection of the Order (hospital, vacation, days off, holidays, etc.)) ;
Flexible schedule with the possibility to work at home;
Adequate and democratic Jedi Masters;
English language courses under the supervision of the Order;
Harmony in the rest area (X-Box, Swedish wall, etc.)) is
The action takes place on the well-protected and comfortable SHI Software Planet in the center of the Kharkov Galaxy!
So, if you are a Great Warrior or are ready to become, I’m waiting for the Secret Manuscript.
My respect, Princess Leia.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №91673
 26.12.2013
There are two main paradoxes in our lives: we cannot find what we have hidden, and we cannot uncover what we have hidden.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №91672
 26.12.2013
Today at the supermarket watched a picture of two hoisters loading in the trunk of a service car five boxes of vodka, probably in advance preparing for the new year. There is a long history on this subject.

This was long before the Duma’s darmoids came up with a law banning the night selling of vodka and demolished all the small shops around the clock in each second yard. The New Year was celebrated in a small company at a friend's house. After the institute, they did not meet together for a couple of years, the main theme of the feast was "who, where, and how". Without regular toasts, of course, it did not work. We should have enough vodka. Only did not think that the girls too would drink white wine, for them was purchased wine. And the friends, after drinking a glass of wine, went with us on "50 grams", as a result, the reserves ended earlier than the calculated time, and the people demanded the continuation of the banquet. I, as the most sober, was sent for a supplement, a good drinker in front of the entrance across the road. I didn’t have time to cross the road, they arrived, the PPS patrol. Stopped next door.
Young man, get into the car.
All right, I got it. Although I am not shy, but it is still shy, and it is already being drunk in a public place. At three o’clock at night. In a sweater, without upper clothes. I did not take the documents with me. Either I will leave now with the money, or they will be taken to the department. Sitting up until the morning in the monkey didn't really want to, started to say something, say, a passport in the apartment, here, next door, go with me, I'll show you.
“Well, you don’t want to come to us, we’ll go out ourselves, you’ll be third anyway.
I now remember it with a smile, when one came out, and headed to my side, I, honestly, “settled for a point.” The smell of mint pepper clearly interrupted the smell of alcohol from me. When he stretched out my hand, I shrugged.
What is your name? Sergey Viktoric? The serpent, that is. I am Vasya, and this is Mika (names invented). Mech, that you have buried there, get it and get out faster, here the man will freeze.
Mika is out. With a bottle of vodka and a pack of paper cups. Take three cups, put on the car cap, pour a gram of one hundred and fifty. The meaning of what happened began to come to me.
Well, Sirog, with the New Year. Let us shrink!
They shook and drank. I thought they would propose another one, it went by a different scenario.
And now greetings. Sergey, look and repeat after us.
They take empty glasses for the throat, turn over, press, and shout: "with no-o-o go-o-o, with no-o-o go-o-o!" Cotton glasses fly away, sprinkling with the remains of vodka. I couldn’t break the glass, only smiled, apparently these ments have a lot of experience.
- Okay, Mick, pick up everything, we went to congratulate somebody else.

P.S I fulfilled my mission, my friends waited for the pledged banquet.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №91671
 26.12.2013
The voices in my head say that I should go to the army, and in the military command say that because of the votes I will not be taken.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №91670
 26.12.2013
My general perception of philosophy is that the first ancient philosophers first invented terms by ingenuity, and then for two thousand years and so far the rest of the philosophers are trying to give them definitions.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №91669
 26.12.2013
The daughter will waste the newly issued New Year's gifts and bowl:
My magnificence!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №91668
 26.12.2013
Kalmykia: The Mediterranean is the Mediterranean countries of this fragile planet.
bndct: kalmykia, do you write from Izengard?
HMiner: bndct, rather from somewhere from Rohan)

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