Dennis: Woman, Lenchik is very offended by me?

Evgeny: No and no!!! What are you!!! to

I now have a private life.

Dennis: sorry, sorry ) write as you finish ))

Word of the day at work:

The boss threatens all employees with a prize

"Now, my dear, the little girl has swallowed, I will only take a bath, I will bathe it, I will change my pyjamas, I will dry my hair, I will wash my cribs, I will remove the bed and wall from the cockroaches, I will put down the rabbit, I will put down the valerian cribs and fairy tales.

Woman, you are so energetic... Any mom would wash the child under the crane, rub the dirt, which can not be left until the morning, and in a minute would already sleep in an embrace with the baby...
You just need to have a couple more children, or you will explode.

XXX: My Kindle is incorrectly glued screen
Have you tried rebooting Kindle?
xxx: Kindle restarted, but the screen is still glued curved
Amazon to Substitute

If a girl is friends with a guy, everyone thinks they are dating. Her friends, his friends... Their common friends are generally holy. Her parents are not surprised when she comes home in his jacket. His parents call her when they don’t know where their son is.
And everybody is silent and looking so questioningly - well, when, when, when you will marry.
You’re also starting to anticipate...
And one day you almost decide to confess to him.
But he is ahead of you and first admits that he has found a boyfriend.

Here the driver Vova told: it was a long time ago, someone found a mineral key in Knezhovo, near our wonderful city of Tyumen. Then there were crowds there. Everywhere machines, everyone draws water from the barrel into bottles, bottles and other containers, someone drinks straight from the barrel. Everyone drinks, saying “What a delicious, full of health water!” After some time there came the local Water Channel and boiled the pipeline that broke.

Colleagues from America came to visit.
And I sit down, I eat, and one comes to me and asks:
What's that is?
I have not come up with anything wiser than to answer the truth:
Boob liked!

Now they know about the edible "sicoolizes"

As a child I was given an encyclopedia, there was a section devoted to the history of England. I became afraid of the musicians after reading the biography of one of the characters, because it ended with the phrase “...was killed by the royalists.”

I will buy the first antivirus, even for Mac, which will cut off Yandex.bar, Yandex browser and other fields.

XXX: Once I worked in a company where half of the employees are gay.
They are special guys.
YYY: The direction of the company?
ZZZ: GIBDD is no different.

by 4pda
Comment on the article: "New wireless charging from Sony will reduce charging time by half"

and XXX:
HTC will reduce charging time by three times, reducing the capacity of the ACB by four

My husband allowed me to have a cat, but on one condition...what I’m going to do to him goes by every time the cat sows out of his pot...I agreed!) Back early from work, I saw my lover dragging a cat from the toilet into the room and shouting, “On the carpet!”

Qwerter
Shras in free sale such powerful arbalets and bowls, that it is scary to walk on mushrooms, and then with salmon travel.
vejuclea
Qwerter 2: Leave the horns at home

With this flat land and other defences of believers, I wonder when will we finally establish the All-Russian State Service of the Inquisition?

When will modern designers think about adjusting the size of the pockets on jeans for the ever-increasing diagonals of smartphones?

I was given a gift card from a cosmetic store for 5 thousand. Where I will be so much.
I gave it on Saturday, guess what?
Tags: cosmetics car
All at once decided that something I was scary and tired of painting.

Puma> news E1: Russians will be banned from wandering through the forest with a gasoline
Silver_metal> this is the shit! all, they undermine the last foundations of democracy, I prepare a shit tractor

gattosporco: Do not send it as a shortcut - in the future it can result in big problems.

Give me a point of support, preferably money.

The Birthday

“Are you happy? In this particular moment, are you doing what you would like to do most in the world?”
by Richard Bach)

This story happened to my old friend Alice. He is a television producer of the middle hand and for two decades has not come out of long and boring journeys, filled with wet socks, ice hotel batteries and the gastricity of high-end restaurants.
The case was in February 2008 (Alik remembers this clearly, because while he was on that trip, his wife in Moscow gave him a younger daughter).
City of Intercity.
Some kind of encapsulated ointment plant for the production of copot, ointment and metal scissors of different lengths and diameters.

In general, in such factories, I personally have a vague suspicion that workers do not come there for wages, but simply - their life is so incredibly boring and long, that until a few deaths, they need at least something to do.

In search of the ignitioner looked into the cottage, where a young cottage cottage skillfully shouted the sovkova spade.
Alic smoked a ball from the closed door and shouted to the cockerel, who turned out to be Valera (due to the satanic war they had to scream, not talk):
You have a hard job, I’m watching. I’t have enough for a day!
And nothing! Three years later, I got used to it. is normal!
and Valeria! What is it that holds you by that ball? I am just interested! Why don’t you leave here, you’re young? Worse, it will not be anywhere.
It holds nothing! The salary holds! I am a child, I have no parents. I would have gathered today and gone somewhere, but I was not even taken to the army for health! After a childhood home, they have been here since then!
A big salary!? to
On the contrary! Absolutely small! A thousand eight hundred a month. How will you leave like that? I tried to save - it doesn't work out, food is barely enough! Well, even the factory clothes!
and Valeria! I did not hear! What a salary!? to
A thousand eight hundred rubles in M-E-S-Jac!! to
I don’t understand it, but write it with your finger.
And Valera brought on the wall – “1800 r. in mes.”
Aliq re-read the inscription on the aspis saddle several times and after a long reflection for some reason cried out:
You have a girl!? to
No, from where? There are no girls! Why do I need her if I can’t even get a bottle of beer? Now, you know, such girls have gone, they are not interested in stars from the sky, they only spin where they spend money!

Here, Alica finally found the operator and they left the fiery hell together.
Three days later, Alick looked into the cottage again, although the shooting at that plant had long since ended.
Hi Valer!
Oh hello to you!
I have a small birthday present for you!
My birthday is not yet in September.
It is not important! Today I have a girl born in Moscow, and in honor of this – to you a gift. Here are six thousand rubles with pennies. Don’t waste it, but leave if you can.
Are you serious? Why is this for me? thank you! I never held such money! Give me a pen and paper, I’ll write down your phone number and if I can, I’ll give it.
Why the paper? Get on the phone right away!
I do not have a phone!

...Before leaving Inter-Rechensk, Alick again looked into the cottage to say goodbye, but some strange man said that Valera disappeared, for a week to work does not go, call, say, to the community, maybe they know?

And then Alick sadly realized that Valer's cowboy simply went into drunkenness from the unexpected wealth that fell on him. Well, and fuck him, let it be, but a man will remember at least something in his old age, he will never get his salary so fast...

...A year and a half passed, and one day Ali’s phone account suddenly increased by as much as 7,000 rubles, and then a call came:
and hello! Good night! This is Valera from Interrechensk. Do you remember when we met in the cottage?
Good morning, my lost soul! Are you alive?
I am fine, thank you. The next day I got on the train and left. Now I live in Kiev, I married, I work, soon I will become a daddy, I want to call you for a long time, but I did not decide until the debt returned...

P.S

Since then, Valera, like a stick, regularly calls Alice twice a year: on the thirty-first of December and on the seventh of February - on the birthday of her daughter.