bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83827
 07.07.2013
Go to me, I have a cold salad! Yes, I’m probably calling the wrong girl.

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83826
 07.07.2013
Alice, let’s prepare something. Do we have a liver that can be prepared from the liver?
I am cirrhosis
Mother: Let me go. Is it delicious?
I: It is fascinating.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83825
 07.07.2013
By the way, at 8 a.m. on Saturday, it turns out, there is a lot of interesting happening on the almost deserted streets of our big city.
So, for example, I was a witness to how the DPS suddenly stopped 3(!!!) cars at a time. I had been lighting green for a long time, but it became very interesting how everything would end.The first was just moving around the meeting, apparently from the gas station, which was nearby. By the way, leaving there is really terrible, in order to leave there, without breaking the rules of the PDD, you need to make a huge hook.
So his DPS was stopped, severely blocking the passage of his forehead into his forehead.He only blamed his hands and crashed on the gasoline.
The second man left after the second and stood up immediately. He went out, said that he saw that one was going, so that he would not go? I thought there was no DPS.
The excuses of the third unfortunate outside of the competition: "I, he says, thought that the DPS arranged an action and distributed gifts, otherwise all these men went under the brick? So I went"
This is how the DPS patrol started its Saturday day. Once you pay, you earn a monthly salary.


[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №83824
 07.07.2013
New-Moscow route, bridge repair, road narrowing, traffic jams. Two length meters peacefully intertwined in a general structure. To the bridge with the hand to give, but here is there: on the right side of the stream are sucking "I need, I am the smartest and I rush". We had been wrapped. And here the length meter makes the move by the horse - rises to the side and blocks the "slide" passage :) And while they wave, wave, fake and squeeze their clamps - two rows (and we included) pass the bridge without problems :)
Respect to you, my friend!! to

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №83823
 07.07.2013
About female logic and feelings... Remember the classic:
If the girl did not agree to sleep with you on the first date, then she has a look at you. If she did not agree on the second, it means big types. If you do not agree with the third one, forget everything I told you before.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №83822
 07.07.2013
A programming diploma is such a thing that if it is required, it means the job and the monkey will cope.

[ + 38 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83821
 07.07.2013
I’m curious, I’m going to chew. Do those who grieve about the ruined space industry or whisper about rockets hitting the sky, know that Russia does an average of two launches a month, and the percentage of successful launches in the last thirty years has never fallen below 90 percent?

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83820
 07.07.2013
This is the topographic idiot.
This is where the shit had to go so that the road indicator showed both Moscow and Khabarovsk in one direction.

For example in Kaliningrad.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83819
 07.07.2013
My son and brother are on the street, playing a siphon. An old woman, 80 years old, says:
The soldiers ran away, they all died!! to
O_O

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №83818
 07.07.2013
Teach your grandmothers to use mobile phones, or let us a 76-year-old aunt accidentally (!) I sent a text message "It’s here" and I didn’t take the phone all day. I was nervous, all the movies remembered.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №83817
 07.07.2013
This is yellow:
People remember now:
From 0:00 to 6:00 - night, from 6:00 to 12:00 in the morning,
--------
Young yet! When we get up in the morning, no matter what the clock shows.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №83816
 07.07.2013
The fall of Proton-M with three satellites on board is another step towards the fact that the Glonass system will cover the entire Earth. A toned layer.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83815
 07.07.2013
The acquaintance prepares for the exam and reads her lectures, as she suddenly encounters a phrase, which she cannot decipher, her own abbreviations:".
You may have come to mind the same thing as I did when I saw this))After we had spent a long time thinking and finally realizing what it really means:"the relationship between man and nature.".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83814
 07.07.2013
What about the White Sea?
YYY: Students dragged onto the pierce of the dead seal. It is raining. Everything is wasted.
yyy: the foil is small and puffy, but already with a mattress.
If you sit on the pitch for a long time, then someday the seals will attract a dead student.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №83813
 07.07.2013
Funny game of skyrim
The table, on the table is a dead troll, from the buttock is a shovel, and next to it is salt and salt.
And the bandit stands next to me and says, like I said let’s do good, and they always resist.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №83812
 06.07.2013
Men love the intelligence of women
Swan: I did not notice anything.
You are not wise!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №83811
 06.07.2013
>>> Women are usually painted in their color if gray appears.
____________
I don’t understand why men are stupid about this.
When the car is painted in "your" color (indicated in the passport) they understand everything :D

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №83810
 06.07.2013
When she meets you for the first time, she already knows where you’re going to play the wedding. You don’t even know where, to her or to you.

Everyone knows from childhood where, how and in what dress she will play the wedding. One thing remains to be decided - with whom.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №83809
 06.07.2013
Okay, now I want to put my book here.
Tomorrow I will not miss the train.
yyy: A short course on administering FreeBSD.
yyy: Theory of internal combustion engines.
YYY: Modern weapons of fire.
Yyy: Suicide for the smallest (in pictures).
yyy: Methodology of sexual perversions.
Psychotropic drugs: dosage, addiction, post-effects.
yyy: 1000 and 1 terror attack for the newcomer.
YYY: A guide to driving.
Why You Bought Apple Products: 100 Idiot Motivations
The train, the toilet, the breakdown – go you too!
xxx: :)))))))))
XXX You are beautiful!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83808
 06.07.2013
X: Can I offer you something? The shower? by Veer? The Ventilator?

YYY: The winter!

Sorry, but the winter will be later. Only four months later, unfortunately. Do you want to see autumn? It will be available in two days.

xxx: I do not recommend spring, it has a release only in 2014, and the characteristics are the same as in summer.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna