Vase his father bought the company and now Vasa will tell us how to open your business from scratch and what to pay attention to.

The summer. The heat. Mother (M), I and my younger sister (C) 5 years back from the beach a short way - that is, climb right on the slope of the mountain, along a rocky stone trail. It’s easy and fun down there.

M is all! I can’t wash that bag anymore.

I take the bag, I take the bag. Really unrealistically heavy. We joked all the way that there was a valley in it.

We get to the “base”, I break out the bag, and there... really a stone! Unclean as such. Wrapped in the towel.

I am : Sister! Did you put a stone here? ! to

A: It was the wind! I put stuff on...

I: Why did I wrap him? ! to

Well, tomorrow there will be wind too! This is our stone!

One day we went to our distant relatives for a wedding. My brother was then unmarried, and for some reason his freedom did not give peace to women, our relatives. But Artem developed an antidote to encouraging him to introduce him to the girl, rightly believing that he himself could find a couple, and stumbled over attempts to marry him.

In general, we came to the wedding, and plant Artem next to a girl whose figure resembles a monument (kg 150). The girl begins on the move to build eyes on my cousin, who does not react but understands that the evening was lost to him.

The girl, in an attempt to capture Theme’s attention and hint that Thema should take care of her:

Young man, could you do me a favor?

Arthem and Hmuro:

Just a ritual.



The flirt is over.

In the recent past, I worked in an internet provider, building networks for them.

One day, the chief decided that the construction department was building slowly and silly.

In this regard - appointed us "an effective manager who will ride with us on the facilities and monitor the work"

The manager was a 20-year-old girl who did not see the gestures and did not hold the cable in her hand.

We arrive on the first day, i.e. at the object.

The basement is dirty, dirty, stinking.

We ask the girl, will you go there with us?

Yes, he says, I need to monitor your work!

So go, we’ll collect the equipment.

is leaving.

Within a minute, the top and whisper, (the bullet flies out)

There is bomb!

And what?

He is naked!

Well and what?

He has a whisper!

No more “effective managers” were sent to us.

Picture in the supermarket at the shelf with children's food.

The actors are a father with a son, about a year.

Papanya takes one puddle in the "deepacks" gives to the son - that squeezes from the pack, returns to the father, that closes, puts in place, with the second they do the same thing) Here the mommy runs - "You are a fuck? " (I thought aggressive, but adequate) - closes the pie and puts on the shelf with the words - "It's cold! "

I had the idea of taking my wife to the corporate, and this is the problem - she has all my humility, does not want to go :) In the end, I persuaded:



I am I, I am my wife

You are okay, go on!

No, I will not go! Everyone will be without wives, but you and your wife.

I’m okay, I’ll tell everyone to come with their wives!

How many people will there be? And you already have a restaurant ordered for a certain number of people...

I - and there will be no problems, Semenich has already told me that his wife will definitely not come, and the other wives do not!

How are there no wives? Are all the others straight? All of all?

I am – all the others are women!



I went :)))

The main thing is that in the new year the black stripes of the old year are not white.

“Miracle in the feathers.” (The New Year’s Story )

“In a white coat with a bloody cloth, with a cheerful cavalry walk.”
by M.A. Bulgakov

When the daughter was studying at the university, and the money was as usual tight, they and their girlfriend decided to organize a congratulatory event for the New Year.
If anyone does not know, then in the pre-New Year hours with Santa Claus tension, everyone lacks.
With Snowmen, of course, too, but it was so that the gifts to the children from their bag is always distributed by Santa Claus.
And in every family where there are children, on December 31, from evening to midnight, children dream of a miracle, waiting for the arrival of Santa and Snowball with gifts.

The Santa Claus costume was made well.
It was the white coat "with a bloody cloth" from the prosecutor's suit, and became the basis of Santa Claus' dress.
(Everything that resembled the dress of Santa Claus was dismantled in the theater before them.)

After some finishing, covered with frosty patterns of a sky-blue piece with the addition of other attributes, Santa's decor looked stylish and shopping rich.
In the same theater, where the prosecutor's suit was rented, neither the guard nor the sanitary was found for the role of the main character. Convinced for a couple of bottles with a white bonus, and accepted into their gang.

Gave an advertisement in the newspaper, gathered orders, talked by phone with the parents of the children. We scheduled a minute route of transportation around the city with a reserve of time for unforeseen circumstances. I ordered a taxi.
The Snowmen costume.

Here they were waiting for.
No matter how hard they tried, no matter where they looked, but they never managed to get the Snowmen costume. The situation was critical.
The case saved the situation. A friend recalled that after the corporative, which was with her father the day before, a dozen two penguin costumes were taken home to them for temporary storage.

In the pre-New Year days, we all live in anticipation of a miracle. Miracles sometimes happen unexpectedly.

The appearance at the door of the apartment of Santa Claus with two penguins, at first the parents caused some shock. But Santa's roaring bass and incredible loading to the fun of the two Penguins, supported by jokes and additions, every time produced magic.
Parents also suddenly began to feel like little children. Together with their children, they read poems from the chair, fought in jokes and exchanged prizes, led chords and sang songs, and together with the congratulators were angry in the puppy enthusiasm of each other.

The noise and laughter of the neighbors looked around the venue, some with children.
They also participated in the game, exchanged gifts and homemade cakes.

And nobody whispered that penguins lived on another pole.
New Year’s Day is a celebration throughout the world.

Everyone with the next!
* * * *

The funniest question is, “When are you getting married?” This was stated by the correspondent of the National Media Group, headed by Alina Kabaeva.

Humans are 60% water, the rest does not drown.

I am not against charity. In a sense, even for. How good it would be to do a good deed, to help someone. You try, you get into a position, and as a result, a shit.

Factory and evening shift. Two young daughters come in, but they struggle hard at the door.
Did you want something? I am the senior change. No work and no money for food? Well, a little we can help you. “Look, these bags of garbage, drag them away to the garbage collector, and you will get twenty shekels. Why can’t you, the bags are not heavy at all? Oh, just give you twenty shekels. Sorry, but here is production, not a free dining room. Money must be earned.

Very late in the evening, I go home by car. Cross, stopped at the light. A man knocks at the window with a motorcycle helmet in his hand. I lower the glass.
Is the gas ended? And no money? Where is your motorcycle? in the tank. How much? Twenty shillings? No problem, dear, sit in the car with me, we will go to the gas station, I will fill you with a full tank so that it will be enough to get home. How not? Give you money. No, dear, I will not give you the money for the dose. What!! He went there himself!! to

In the middle of the working day. I leave Tel Aviv in the northern direction. The bus stop. A young man votes. I stop and drop the glass.
Hi to you. What trouble happened? Should I go, and the wallet with money and cards stolen? and where? to Netanyahu. This is on our way. Sit down, I’m just going to Netanyahu, I’ll land near the police station. I need to go there too. In addition, you will submit a report on theft. I am not a police officer, I am an engineer, I teach them to eat. Where did you run!

The evening. A bell at the door of the apartment. I open. At the threshold, a young man in a black lapsard, a hat of the same color and long, hanging to the neck peys.
Good night, how can I help? Sorry, what are you going for? Have you tried work? Can you not? Why is? “In the sweat of your face you will eat bread.” You try, in our warehouse loaders are needed...Well, where did you run!

Friday morning in the supermarket. Back to the box. Two cute girls, aged 16-18 years.
Yes to hello. Sorry what? You help the poor with food. What to do? To pay this? I just received the award, I will be happy to help. How much money did you invest, let me ask you? When are you collecting? To earn yourself? What does it mean nowhere? That is not the problem.
I get the phone:
Hi to you! Is it a cleaning company? I need to clean up my apartment today. Yes, I agree to pay for urgency. I need to (list the types of work). How much will it cost me? Approximately 200 shekels. Sorry, but how long will it take? About three hours. Thanks, I will call you again.
I put my phone in my pocket, I get a notebook and a pen.
- Girls, here is my address, it is here, not far away. The wife at home, she will give you everything to clean, even what to change clothes. I will call her now. You two, if you work an hour and a half, I will pay you 300 shekels. It will be your and my personal contribution to such a good cause. Do I call my wife? Girls, girls, where have you gone?
No, do not break it. This is out of those girls, they changed their minds. I put it aside. This is my credit card. thank you. Have a good weekend!

That's how, just gather to do charity, as it turns out that it is no longer necessary.

The Good News:
Putin opposed restricting access to information on the Internet.
The Bad News:
It is the same Putin who was against raising the retirement age.

It remains only to announce that the riots in Paris were caused by the Russians in 1812.

I saw it with my own eyes: on a very busy road, a young man of two years of age ran out on the road, and his mommy talks with friends, zero attention to the boy, the car brakes in front of the child. The man jumps out, grabs the boy on his arms, goes out on the sidewalk and roar, saying whose child, a fool-mama roar "my." A man without a conversation beats her in the mouth, sweeps the child in his arms and leaves. War was...

The currency rate board is the last independent media that tells the truth about the situation in the country and its economy. So he was banned.

xxx: It is known that the director of the film 3+2 Heinrich Oganesyan studied the psychology of people by means of experiments. Here is one case - a bright sunny day, Moscow, one of the trolley bus stops. There is a man wrapped in a rainy coat with an open umbrella. A trolleybus arrives and one or two passengers may be paying attention to this strange person. The trolleybus leaves and this type, as you guessed it was G. Oganesyan, sits quickly into a passenger car that surpasses this trolleybus and at the next stop stands the same strange person, to whom four or more passengers pay attention. The trolleybus leaves and the same happens. At the third stop, half of the passengers are surprised to see an unknown subject. At the fourth or fifth stop, everybody, without exception, is looking at this stranger.



YYY: And what does this experiment have to prove?



zzz: That a light car is faster than a bus.

Many programming languages are taught at our faculty. For example, a dolphin, but it looks like this: “Look, it’s Dolphin. Let us go on.”

Strangely enough, taxes and retirement age have increased here, and Russia has organized protests in France.

Will these people teach the Jews to live?

In 1954, when Ben-Gurion was prime minister, he went to the United States to meet with President Eisenhower to ask for his help and support in building the state of Israel. John Foster Dales, then Secretary of State, asked Ben-Gurion, “Say, Mr. Prime Minister, who are you and your country representing? Per you represent the Jews of Poland, Yemen, Romania, Morocco, Iraq, Russia, or Brazil? After 2000 years of exile, can we honestly speak of a single nation, a single culture? Can you talk about a single heritage, or a single Jewish tradition?”

Ben-Gurion replied, “You see, Mr. Secretary of State, about 300 years ago, under the Mayflower sailing ship from England, the first settlers arrived and settled in the place that became the largest democratic superpower known as the United States of America. Now, do me a favor – go out, find 10 American children and ask them the following questions:
What was Captain Mayflower’s name?
How long did the flight last?
What kind of people were on the ship?
What were the conditions of swimming during the trip?

I am sure you will agree with me that you have all the chances not to get the correct answers to these questions.

Unlike America – not 300, but more than 3,000 years ago, Jews left Egypt. I ask you, Mr. Secretary, in each of your numerous trips around the world, try to meet 10 Jewish children in different countries. And ask them:
What was the name of the leader who brought the Jews out of Egypt?
How long did it take them to reach the land of Israel?
What did they eat in the desert?
What happened to the sea when they crossed it?
As soon as you have the answers to these questions, please consider my request carefully again!”

Spending 1.5 trillion rubles on a federal program to create a super-heavy rocket to explore the moon at a time when you have not mastered Podolsk is a bit wasted.