A client came and took an arbalet for rent. He came for additional arrows.
With a dozen shots, two arrows are lost. The first lost because they targeted incorrectly - went above the shield in a clean field.
And the second?
- The second is much more funny: in order to find the first we shot from the same place and in the same direction. Well, type, she should fall in the same place...

I used to buy a modem (in the people called a whistle). I picked Megaphone and went to the communication salon. I make a purchase. A girl counseling at the computer. 5 minutes, 10, 15... It’s already angry, almost sweaty. I ask :
I have any problems?
Yes, the internet does not load.
(I) How is it so? I buy modems from you, and you have a breakdown with the internet. Maybe I chose Megaphone in vain?
We have a rooster here.
0 to Rostelecom? Why not Megaphone?
d) The connection is not very good. Oh... 0_o

Disney is filming in Russia super-popper fairy tale blockbuster "The Last Knight"!
WOW: It’s strange that it’s not "the ultimate rich man".

xxx: It turned out that "propizdel" is a table of product properties. How terrible to live.

Beria: And the story of the batteries was remembered as follows: some "communal service" announced that they would successively change the batteries in the house for new ones. And indeed, in the morning came a van, from there came out men in specialties and with a tool. Shustro went through the apartments, turning off the old radiators and pulling them down, into the truck. After turning out a large number of batteries, the men said, “All, tomorrow we will bring and put new batteries... and no one has seen them again.” The old batteries were found at the point of receipt of metal.

Jacker2000: I have such Energy Savers from LLC bowed with cancer.Sunul "inspector" certificate of red with the flag of Russia and command tone informed that the counter is late and need to be changed.And here I suffered.I asked once again the certificate to read and read what there LLC....enabled "partial on the hospital"....with the words of the happy call and go to give explanations on where the certificate with the state symbol from. and the herb. The man was somewhat upset and put it all out.. the firm there then there that.. I am making orders, sorry don't sit in the tower... let go))

I go with my little nephew around the country village, show him the sights, I say, "This tree was planted when I was, like you, 7 years old, see how huge it grew."
He judgingly looks at me, on the tree, and speaks in such an indifferent tone:
"So when it was, millions and millions of years ago"

A father and a daughter aged 4 to 5.
Suddenly a girl on the street: You are a whisper!
Dad stressed: Nuka Nuka, where did you hear that word?
The girl is modest: I invented it myself :)

I go to the courts. Three young boys are playing football. One pulled the ball too hard, so it stumbled on the track in front of me.

“Take the ball,” the boys shouted.

I rush and unexpectedly even wrinkle the ball to their side. The first, and the only time I not only hit the ball, but also pulled it with enough strength and in the right direction.

thank you! I hear a loud choir.

You see, even a girl beats better than you.

Fighting with Matt is not good. But fighting well without a mate will not work.

Five years ago, I went to a shop in Kiev, “Selpo”.
Swirling my eyebrows, I check the amount on the cheque and at the bottom of the cheque I read the wish "Smile - the world will smile to you." And immediately the eyebrows got up, the mood improved, the worry about the money spent somewhere disappeared. Immediately remembered the old charmers with puppets, who for a small amount of money pulled the clove from the hat twisted papers with predictions.

I wanted to jump here the next time.
He deliberately praised marketers for such a finding, and began to think about where such wishes came from at the box office. I came to the conclusion that the network has a database for this, from which the cashier accidentally or in turn takes the necessary lines.

The new product soon came to buyers, and the Selpo network began to print ordinary cheques.
But wishes, predictions and even astrological predictions on checks began to print stores of other chains.

Why these memories?
Here is what.

On May 14, when the leisurely people watched their naked ass at Eurovision 2017, the 112th channel showed a 5-minute story in which the former head of the Department of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Ukraine for the fight against drug trafficking Ilya Kiva demonstrated the cheque received in the store with the inscription "POROSHENKO M*DAK DONBASS RULIT". Dry by the anger of noble indignation, he quoted the inscription on the check five times, to a considerable pleasure of the TV viewers. There was a chain reaction on the network. On Twitter and Instagram, the hashtag #poroshenkomadok appeared. The check itself has become the internet’s memo.

The next day after the Eurovision, the President’s Administration learned about the incident and called the SBU to find out and punish the culprits. Detectives ran into the office of the trading network, seized servers, but naturally found nothing, because as soon as the noise began, the guys lost everything unnecessary in the databases.

After that, a questioning of witnesses (programmers) began on how this could have happened.

The first programmer said that it was the fault of the Russian hackers who hacked the cash machine and forced it to print this ugliness.

The second has expressed the opinion that this is a business of the hands of Americans, who through Windows collect information about users, recording every click on the keyboard, and that in this way the CIA expressed Trump’s dissatisfaction with the policy of the Ukrainian authorities.

The third was convinced that it was the fault of the taxpayer, who via the internet channels in the online mode receives from the cash machines information about the amount of revenue and VAT paid. And while the cash machine wandered the internet, he looked at the Kremlin propaganda videos and became a separatist.

The fourth accused the Koreans, who produced the cash machine in accordance with the requirements of the fiscal service of Ukraine, and equipped it with artificial intelligence. What is Artificial Intelligence? This is the ability to independently browse websites, analyze the information obtained and make appropriate conclusions.

“So what, the cash machine is smarter than the average Ukrainian?” – exclaimed the shattered investigator.

When you stretch one socks on your left leg, the other automatically becomes right. And instantly, regardless of the distance between your legs. This is the essence of quantum connectivity.

I live in Rwanda. Here Leopold, an indigenous Rwandais, also lives here. He is a man of literacy, studied in Moscow, married a Russian woman, now works as a professor at the university and sows among local residents the reasonable, good, eternal under the guise of higher mathematics.

One day he went with his wife on holiday to Russia and there he was obscured. What we think is that we live loosely and unculturally. Even our house is not covered. Now we will dress up and live no worse than the aunt in Nalchik. And brought home full suitcases of wallpaper. Since in Rwanda wallpapers are not sold and generally unlikely to suspect this overseas wildness.

The body of the famous cat grabbed into one room wallpaper. I would add more, and it was over. Beautiful, he says, were, with impressive flowers, in colonial style. The background, of course, among all the neighbors produced a great furor. No one has seen them before. Leopold was known as a fashion designer, gentleman and squirrel. And after some time, the wallpaper broke away, as the proper skill of sticking the hero of our story did not have.

To summarize, I dare to say that what is good for the Russians, for the Rwandan, is glued away from the wall.

The second day does not work Yandex cards/transports - nothing is loaded.

The ex called.
How about personal life?
There is not her.
When are you going to marry?
Almost never at all. What did I forget there?
Okay, you don’t want to – don’t talk. And your mom said you have two toothbrushes in your bathroom.
There are four there right now. Make any conclusions you want from it.

Previous: Job Seekers Are Afraid of Boring Offers
Commentary :
Suslik: Yes, in principle, most proposals are very even boring, you will see the proposed salary.

by shakko-kitsune

Here is my favorite quote from Grey.

Valentine Serov – Unknown <Summer 1907 and gt;

M<yellow> g<yellow>!
In spite of all the patriarchality of the local customs, I can nevertheless not let you know that the place you have chosen for bathing (without any costume) somewhat confuses the inhabitants of my country. Ready for services of V. Serov

From the comments:

> If you continue to swim without a suit in front of my country, then you will soon become a hero of the youtub (shortly) mobile exhibition!

This decision by Microsoft Corporation caused sharp criticism, and on Sunday, the American computer giant released a free upgrade for Windows XP, which was previously offered only for a fee, for the first time in three years.
More criticism, more updates

From one forum:
A sudden awakening is dangerous to humans. You can even die from it!
I: The most abrupt and unexpected awakening in my life was usually accompanied by a scream: “Rota! Rise!" But I don’t remember to have anyone died from it.

(xxx works in a large gaming company)
The programmers are such programmers. I get out of their conversations. I went to our dining room - the bugs are discussing what new car the boss has and apparently things in the company are going the same way, since the machine is cheaper than two lam.

I went to the dining room on the floor of the artists - loudly, almost before the fisting, the animators discuss the current policy, and the artists manage to do everything at once depending on who likes it.

xxh: went to the top: in silence and tranquility, the team leads reluctantly discusses the features of the cache systems, what exactly and how they need to spray for the project. A dozen young boys look into his mouth, two other timlids rattle their foreheads and clarify unknown places for them.