bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №80987
 02.05.2013
Commentary on Gamepad

I bought it in the store, immediately unpacked (I wanted to play). As I went home, the knives stood. I was alone in the head with this fall - his blood shed, two others were frightened and fled. I got home, connected – it works! Generally a great gamepad.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80986
 02.05.2013
In all the former republics of the Union, Independence Day is the independence from Russia. And only in Belarus Independence Day is independence from German invaders.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №80985
 02.05.2013
The Xxx Romantic
Yes, I have a gap working.

[ + 33 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80984
 02.05.2013
From Miley Answers:
My friend and I had a dispute. I say that Pikachu has three stages of development and he was immediately in the second phase. Pichu - Pichu - Raichu And he claims that there are only two stages.Picachu - Raich. Pichu is very similar to Pikachu and it is written on some forums that this is his evolutionary form.

<Criptok>: What are you doing? I was chewing the peel at that moment.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №80983
 02.05.2013
XXX: Coffee or tea?
YYY: Is there anything stronger?
I can give a nuts.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №80982
 02.05.2013
It’s also bad to go ahead of fashion.

When I got my first hand-free to the phone, I was cracked like a psychic who talks to himself.

When I got my first flash, it wasn’t taken, from the light bulb to the lipstick.

When I got my first smartphone, I was upset that I had such a big phone. Then we measured who was less. Now they go putting tablets on their faces, I scratch them... but I am the only one on the journey, because now it’s fashion...it’s okay now...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №80981
 02.05.2013
Recently colleagues told the phrase about the new novel of Pelevin and it came out as follows:

This is a continuation of one of his novels about vampires, but there vampires are not as everyone thinks of them... Well, in fact, he and the reverse have a novel - there the reverse also are not as they think of them... He even has a novel about Tolstoy - there and Tolstoy are not as they think of him... Yes, in fact, and about Chapaev he has a novel - there Chapaev is not as they think of him too.

The universal characteristics of all the books of the author in one phrase came out.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №80980
 02.05.2013
Fuck, I am a loser. I bought my own round sunglasses (as in Morpheus), I thought I would now have a pursuit of Morpheus, and I was called Basilio.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №80979
 02.05.2013
From answer.mail.ru on the question of the fight against cockroaches:
At the sabotage, the men found an opiginal way of tapping with tapakans. In the dining room, where they are sprinkled, there are plastic bottles of oil "Rama", about which everyone has heard thanks to the Peclam. The males leave a little of this so-called oil in these cupboards and put it overnight in their wagons. Hutpoo in these cappots turns out...what would you think? A layer of dead tapacans!
Ppichem will die tapakans only from "Rama". They left kopobki from under the oil "Kpestyanskoye", on the UTPO they were perfectly clean - neither oil nor tapakans. So the Pussian Napod, which in large amounts puts this "Rama", can be easily entered into the "Guinness Book of Pecopods".
Give it up!! to

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №80978
 02.05.2013
It is a pity that many men have dignity just below the belt.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №80977
 02.05.2013
In the villages, the children from childhood knew where the kittens, pigs and calves came from, and at the same time they knew why the nephyg with whom came earlier.
I have a brother and a sister. They were 10 years old (at the time of the events they were 8). They know how they have been born for a long time (not in detail true, but the idea is known). And here on TV some joke about finding children in the cabbage. They don’t understand it and ask to explain. I explain that sometimes children are told that they have been found in cabbage, or that they have been bought in a store, or that they have been brought by a bow.
Why do they say this to children?
I: Well, they may be ashamed to tell the truth.
Brother: Do they not understand that in this way they say to their children that they are not their real dad and mom?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №80976
 02.05.2013
Life is beautiful! Not mine of course, but still.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №80975
 02.05.2013
Review of Age of Empires II HD:

Tag: play of childhood
Normal children played in syphus and hiding.
zzz: On my old compass the sifa didn’t go (

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80974
 02.05.2013
And remember that "the goods made in the sky" in Japanese is written as follows:
メ ソ モ ナ タ
ノく ひ ナ タ ひ て ノく タ ㄕし

_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I’m Japanese and I appreciate it. A very harsh sense of humor, really.

_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Here the Japanese can only sympathize here, because there is a non-illusory risk to honestly try to read this mixture of hiragana with catacombs with a single insert of the Chinese same zhuin according to the "right" rules and break your brain before the eye notices the suspicious similarity of lunar signs with Russian letters.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №80973
 02.05.2013
In general, it seems to me that Samsung doesn’t make its top smartphones metal just because they’ll look even more like a spade.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №80972
 02.05.2013
“Why are you looking at me like that?”? to
HE: And what else do I have to do for you?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №80971
 02.05.2013
What I hear: yeah, you are glad that you are such a fuck, with a child fuck married to someone else. Here is my daughter, a beautiful, smart, a doctor, her own apartment and they don’t call it a husband. And you? So... turn off the light.

This is the anger for such kindness. I am a doctor myself, I do not have to say this to a patient, especially to a young mom who has already gray hair from fear of a child!!! What is your dog business? It’s clear why my daughter doesn’t get married – with such a aunt! Who needs a woman who in old age will be so ugly?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №80970
 02.05.2013
I’d like to share an achivement – as a result of assembling the walls of Ikea with my father throughout the day, I was a brainless fool just three times!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80969
 02.05.2013
XXX is
From the window I observe happiness: a young beautiful wife helps her husband to cut off his sportsbike. Nearby are rotating their 3 spinoffs: 2 boys and a daughter.

YYYY
Sounds like it sounds, xxx. FU to FU!! to

ZZZ
Great))) Years will pass and they will already be cut off on 5 bikes)))

TTT
Five years will pass, the sportbikeer’s grave will grow grass, and the children will have a new dad. No more bicycle.

Aaa
ttt, maybe the new dad already has, so the beautiful wife is so caring and helps with the bike

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №80968
 02.05.2013
XXX: I am bad
YYY: What is it?
He came to me yesterday, as usual. She left him and went into the shower. I return, and the candles are placed all over the apartment, the music is romantic, the roses are everywhere...
YYY: It is cool.
XXX: Oh, I’m also an officer. We stand, kiss, and then he suddenly jumps back, makes a terrible face, plays off and runs into the kitchen. and naked.
YYY :?
XX: I badly washed the hair balm from the ear. It turns out to taste very bitter.
YYYYYYYYYYY))))
You are funny, and I stand there like a fool, and I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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