bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №70986
 04.10.2012
A large office building, 3 floors occupies our company. When it becomes boring at work, we have the following entertainment with colleagues from other offices: we turn on conference communication, we collect as many people as possible and orem as in the movie "Very Terrible Movie". xDDD
In the middle of the day, boring, nothing happens. The bell rings - I raise the phone and I hear the familiar "Vaaaaaaaaaaa!!" - Well I have no back-thinking in response even louder - WVWAAAZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAA!!! to
At the other end of the wire - "Bla, how did you go, I brought water, water in bottles, did you order?and "

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №70985
 04.10.2012
What is the 21st century in Russia? This is when in the middle of the garden stands an old cutting-edge wooden sorter, but with Wi-Fi

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №70984
 04.10.2012
What would happen if we banned the sale of any alcohol on New Year's Day and May holidays?
The people trembled and asked, “Where is the king?”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №70983
 03.10.2012
Two worlds, two childhood: they have Harry Potter, Ron and Hermione, we have Hruendel, Lohmaty and Masyanya

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №70982
 03.10.2012
Specialist in explosions?
YYY: The Minor
XXX: But not to be terrified later, but right away?
YYY: The sapphire?! to

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №70981
 03.10.2012
Oh Oh!!! I saw a man-f-skin at the clinic today!!! Fairy spectacle - to the death of the metallurgist, as is the case with the haer surrounded by grandmothers reading Dostoevsky!!! by Shik!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №70980
 03.10.2012
The most valuable advice a friend gave me before the wedding
When will you be asked "Do you agree?" simply answer "Yes". No philosophical reasoning.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70979
 03.10.2012
X: Did you hear the Indian Fair has opened? Let us go? They say it is fun.
YYY: No thank you. I have all of this and the house is full.
Xxx :?? to
yyy: My mom suddenly decided that India is offgenically cool. Now we have all the food with spices, tea with spices...
yyy: crazy, even toothpaste with spices! I am afraid of touching their toilet paper.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №70978
 03.10.2012
EU: Where was your lazy ass today?
I: My lazy ass was sleeping.
EU: Again erotic fantasies about Natalie Portman in a purple night shirt?
I: No, this time I was a maniac killer. First I...
EU: Don’t tell me this!
I : really. It will not happen!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №70977
 03.10.2012
Blade: On a similar occasion, a familiar Uzbek professor in Samarkand told me in the early 1990s: “First, the golden heads of the Jews left us, then the golden hands of the Russians and the rest – the golden teeth of the Uzbek...

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №70976
 03.10.2012
Blindly looking at the prescription, written by the doctor, with a deep grief in his voice gives out the phrase of the day: "Mlyaya...And what is this for a handwriting?! It’s not a handwriting, it’s a dumb cardigram of a dying man!..."

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №70975
 03.10.2012
I was interviewed "for interview". I gave him an admin test. He successfully passed it and asked "and you give all the couriers such tests"?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70974
 03.10.2012
Statement of the City Council)
On Saturday, October 6, the bridge will be opened from 12.00 to 15.00 for the completion of repairs. The passage of pedestrians will be free.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70973
 03.10.2012
For the first time in his life, he ordered glasses.
The office feelings. It looks like the whole world is in HD.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70972
 03.10.2012
The film Prometheus Pipetz is simple. It’s okay when the drama unfolds due to external circumstances. But to gather a dozen wanderers on a distant planet without instructions, subordination, powerful weapons, but with an oxygen firewall - it is a fail from the outset.

[ + 52 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70971
 03.10.2012
I’ve been stunned by people who think that having Apple products is a sign of cruelty.

The friends! Apple is not a sign of cruelty! We just live in a fucking country, and all!

Apple is making cheap products. That is why they are popular! Not in this shit, but in civilized countries. Where the new phone from Samsung costs $600, but do you know how much the iPhone costs? The newest model – $300, the second oldest – $200, and the third – $100. Now for $100 in the U.S. you can buy the iPhone 4 (respectively, for 200 - 4s, for 300 - 5th).

And that’s why consumers suffer the fucking iTunes, the missing multitasking until recently, cretinism, such as the removal of Google cards from the store, etc. Because the iPhone in the world is the phone of waitresses and mail couriers who are ready to tolerate its crushes for the sake of a sturdy body and fast work. Here’s all of your "crucial".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №70970
 03.10.2012
X-Thank you Skype for seeing you every day! And to you, for you smiling at me every day! I kiss you, good night!

I love you too :)
Don’t touch the fox.

x-BlYat Volodya, for you the girl didn't get the evening sms )))))))

X-That’s what I’ve gotten off at work today, it’s time to go home.))))
We’ll talk about it on Skype on Friday! :)
I kiss you strongly, I look forward to seeing you soon!

Listen to the romance, use your phone carefully.

X-Fuck I’ll remove you off ?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70969
 03.10.2012
Freud: I would know what Jung and Freud actually wrote about. Isn’t it just sex?
Den Stranger: Do you understand what you said now? :D

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №70968
 03.10.2012
The fucking. A resident of the city X was sentenced to 2 years in prison under the article “insulting the feelings of believers” for rejecting an Orthodox man and refusing to spend a night with him.
Oh, a very good surge. Today’s news is no better, and no education is visible.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №70967
 03.10.2012
I went to work today, a man stopped me, stretched a religious book and began to talk about religion. I answer him:
My religion is science and logic.
Your religion does not explain the creation of the world.
Listen, your religion doesn’t even explain the dinosaurs.

He turned and went on...
I should have seen the face of the crocodile :D

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