bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №75807
 14.01.2013
The news.

The White House responded by rejecting a petition from the U.S. to build the Death Star. The document was signed by 34 thousand people. The residents of the United States asked the government to “search for resources, allocate funding and start building the Death Star in 2016.” One comment from the US government:

Why should we spend the enormous money of taxpayers on the “Star of Death”, which has a defect that can lead to its destruction by a single-seat star?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №75806
 14.01.2013
xxx: Today I thought about how it is still easy to spend 24 thousand rubles in less than 3 weeks, it is more difficult to live the rest of the month on the remaining 2.
It’s almost impossible to remember where you spent that money!!! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №75805
 14.01.2013
Excerpt from an article in the journal "Popular Mechanics" about the Chinese space program:
According to Chief Designer of Chinese manned spacecraft Zhou Jiangping, the government has allocated 15 billion yuan ($2.35 billion) for the construction and launch of the Tiangong-1 target module and the flight to the station of three spacecraft. That is, three times smaller than the legendary Russian road Adler-Sochi, which is 48 km long. Something money was enough.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №75804
 14.01.2013
From the Habra-Dahabra about the first human mission to Mars:

HangGlider: I suggest sending participants to Home-2. I’m sure they won’t see a replacement :)

Numitus: And today we will decide who to expel from the project and deprive the oxygen.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №75803
 14.01.2013
Bleat, I have seen a lot in my life, but did not expect to meet in the book "Principles of Solid Body Theory" in the chapter "Optical Properties" the epigraph of "Romeo and Juliet" of Shakespeare

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №75802
 14.01.2013
xxx (18:57:13 13/01/2013)
Here is a predator in such a mask.
xxx (20:04:53 13/01/2013)
Super super
xxx (20:04:53 13/01/2013)
Strong and sharp
xxx (20:04:53 13/01/2013)
Without a mask, it looks like a donut.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №75801
 14.01.2013
About Skyrim:
“It’s a joke... to hide a 5 kilograms cheese head there during a battle, that’s all!
Yyy: And on top of the goat's foot to eat a couple of liters of vineyard.
Zzzz: It’s like a party with my relatives.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №75800
 14.01.2013
To rest on vacation like a white man, I go to work like a Negro on a plantation.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №75799
 14.01.2013
Grandfather came to visit. In the evening:
Dad (D): I found your mushrooms on the balcony!
I: He’s been three years. You would throw it out.
D: Yes, I threw out what was roasted above, and ate the rest. Three hours went well. I’ll open the second bank to check out.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №75798
 14.01.2013
"To get rid of the disease will help you qualified doctors of the Medical Center "Help yourself"."

Good name, it is immediately clear that there are no special hopes when dealing)))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №75797
 13.01.2013
The night. Cottage in the Northern Village. The duty woman in solitude and Azzsky noise bypasses the possession. Following her, a man goes with a teaspoon to pick up water. Suddenly, the woman falls from her place and runs away. A man with a scarring throws a teaspoon and behind her - little she has heard. And it turned out that she decided to run away from nothing to do)))

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75796
 13.01.2013
Q: What kind of person are you in bed?
It is barbaric!! to
SBS, and I am a wooden man!! to

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75795
 13.01.2013
For the development of the village in Russia will be allocated 42 billion rubles.
I even know the name of this village - Ruby :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №75794
 13.01.2013
XXX is
Do you think it makes sense to talk with a girl on ordinary topics?
I spent the day and so on.

YYY
Am
Yes Yes
of course
Share what you have there.

XXX is
Oh well.
In short, I ask what shampoo she has, and she says I’m saying something wrong.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №75793
 13.01.2013
"Doctor, mega is in a good mood, I want to go to cafes, bars, shops and buy everything I like! What about me?
You have a salary:

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №75792
 13.01.2013
I lie in bed with my wife, preparing for sleep.
I set up an alarm for you.
I am also on the sixth.
The wife in a wild seizure of laughter, climbs me into cowards, which then gives out ''and really's opened and another 15 minutes hiccats, here it comes to me that I gave out, had to rehabilitate =)

[ + 30 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75791
 13.01.2013
The annual budget of the Pentagon is enough to send two large submarines to Mars. They are doing fishing.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №75790
 13.01.2013
XXX Movement - Life
XXX: and the progressive-return may be her cause

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №75789
 13.01.2013
When you wake up in the morning, there is a bar in the refrigerator. And you’re still chewing all day... No fools, right?

This is not the fucking law. In this case, they are not fools. You are just a fucking shit. When are you all going to get rid of the pigs?

[ + 34 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75788
 13.01.2013
Morse: I remember watching a Japanese porn multiplayer with the non-Japanese name "Steamboy". So there, these fans of realism for distant explosions made a sound delay relative to the flash. The fucks. I then overwhelmed the entire system, trying to understand why my sound track is lagging behind the video. That they all burn in hell, physicists are crazy.

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