I talk on Skype with a girl. Five minutes later.
XXX: What is your name?
and wowa.
Why is your name Vova? Is Vladimir written in Skype?
by :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

xxx: from avito.ru
I am "selling an animal. The price is 5000 rubles."
There are no photos.)

>If you teach a robot to get up from any position
< is there. The same LS3. But this is elementary, but not to fall is a much more interesting skill. Imagine you are riding an elephant, and instead of being able to walk and not fall, he is able to get up and roll over his back.

"A resident of the Krasnoyarsk region was prosecuted for quoting Hitler"
Victor Achinsky: Lord, remove the list of those who cannot be quoted. And then I suddenly ended up unknown...

If no one of your relatives cried at your funeral, then you made the testament correctly.

by maxlapshin:
By the way, the grandmothers at the entrance, who believe that the government is zombing us with rays from space, are absolutely surprisingly right, do not underestimate them. More than a hundred television satellites are chanting on a geostationary orbit and they are retransmitting such a way that Gagarin in the tomb of shame turns.

How hard it is to go out in the morning when others are scratching at work!!! to

Are you all in the hospital?

Yes, these are kids! I gave blood at the clinic yesterday.

Manson: The mission is impossible – take a man in line, and he will either leave or wear a hat.

The dictionary of a Negro from the Mumbai Yumbo tribe is 300 words. Ellochka Shukina easily and freely went through thirty. The dictionary of the wife of the engineer Shchukin consisted mainly of such words as “famous”, “darkness”, “mushroom”, “parnisha”, “taxo” and so on, which adequately reflected her inner world.
(Illf and Petrov)

A lot of talk!
I’ve been using the words lately:
"jobnuczo", "roots" and "sudden".

Victor Achinsky: Lord, remove the list of those who cannot be quoted. And then I suddenly ended up unknown...
Horse: The Register of Prohibited Sites has been included in the Register of Prohibited Sites because it contains a Register of Prohibited Sites.

Have you seen "The House of Flying Knives"?
I do not like sharp names.
- You know, even if in the Chinese movie in the title "halva", then in the end everyone will still die...

Why do I need a refrigerator at -150 degrees?
WOW: Why Why? You put the body there, and when it freezes, you break it into small pieces!

I wrote on the wall "talk to me!!and "
XHHH: teaches likes and reposts
Issue :' (

My wife put the cakes in the oven. A little later, on the offer to drink tea, she replied:
Now the cakes are loaded.

I call the girl, she says with a quiet whisper:
Hi, go out to Aska.
Why the whisper?
I’m at home (with a whisper)
What do you have at home that is whispering?
- (with the lowest and quietest whisper) - "Big Cats"

First, our brave filmmakers translated "Expendables" ("Consumables") as "Unstoppable". Now a new film with Stallone is out - "Bullet to the head" ("Ball in the head"). Translation - "Unstoppable" Question: Does it seem to me alone that our translators have studied the English-unstoppable dictionary?

Sirion: Every time I see the "edit" button on Wikipedia, I have an unstoppable desire to RULE WIKIPEDIA.

Conversation with the designer:
x (only goes on): Two layers are normal, and four are already overloaded.
Q: Are you talking about the layout or the toilet paper?

From the comments to the news about the new hydro- and oleophobic coating, thanks to which the treated object is absolutely dry and clean after full immersion in water and dirt:

1 is interested. But how dangerous is it for contact with the skin and mucous membranes?

2nd I also immediately wanted to cover my son.

What if the software update appears "connection with the demon is lost"?

to save a sinful soul.