bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78207
 03.03.2013
The case was in the shelter and was in the far 2010 year, and at the end of the session my parents gave me... a tortoise! Give the student a turtle! A small turtle! The collective in the community is rugged and quite sociable and ONCE everyone saw this miracle!the decision to go where this creature and the decision came by itself... we smoked almost everything and... this turtle was attached to the Cinderella! Yes, the ash and immediately everyone liked it, Murka (well, our turtle) responded to the fact that we were talking to her on the occasion of the final session and immediately approached if someone called her, this is the time. 2, she never turned around, and all it took was a couple of times a day to remove the ash from her back, the father learned about the tortoise's fate the next day and wildly roasted, and the mother still thinks that she sat in her own aquarium and lowered the stress level in a purely male team during her student years.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №78206
 03.03.2013
From the hubra, the topic about the follower of Grandma:
xxx: Are there really so many idiotic shows in these satanic boxes on television? Apparently, it will be a little longer, and a potato radio receiver will be considered a miracle.
yyy: I understand, after reading the "radio receiver from potatoes" several groups of journalists have already gone to you in an urgent order :) You will take them under the LEP and luem. Put the lamp in the ground (say that it is magic)... and what they are all about Aichi, and physics broadcast...

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №78205
 03.03.2013
Vladimir: killed in the search on the website model laptop. And at the bottom is written "The purposes for which the laptop is ideal: For a cat, For presentations, For a programmer, For connecting an external display"
DREY : WOW! My cat will be able to search for wet chicks on Google!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №78204
 03.03.2013
Conversation with a girl.
- I really beat you, you don't even always turn your brain on?
and when?
Mmm...and that’s the right answer!

[ + 45 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78203
 03.03.2013
Cat Barsik returned home to Rostov-on-Don from the city of Krasnodon in the Luhansk region. The cat was exhausted and exhausted, he found a stretch of the leg, but the cat's health was not threatened by anything. He passed about 220 kilometers and crossed the Ukrainian-Russian border.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №78202
 03.03.2013
I learned that condoms have a shelf life. I checked out... I dropped it. and :(

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №78201
 03.03.2013
This morning I went to the gas station, in front of the line a woman, you won't believe, but here the blonde is like in the movies.
She says:
What column?
I do not know
How is it?
I am not a puppy. I did not look. Should I have watched?
Tell me the name of the car, I’ll look at the camera where it is.
A minute pause
The audio car

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №78200
 03.03.2013
XXX: What is the Governor’s breast coefficient?
yyy: The coefficient of the governor's breastfeeding depends on the absence of the Countess in the estate ^_^

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78199
 03.03.2013
YYY: I wonder why you, men, are standing in the morning? A strange male body.

I don’t even know if it might be lifting or charging!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78198
 03.03.2013
I want a beautiful one. Smart, good and gentle. Have fun with striptease on Skype.
and danced.

How many hostages do you have?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №78197
 03.03.2013
Judging by the fact that in the list of candidates for the Pope of Rome the youngest and most active of them is a Negro - he is most likely to win this year. You can already joke :)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №78196
 03.03.2013
x: when in the interface 1C you will be able to vote for the document that you like and put likes to the user that created it?! to
The most important thing is not to forget the "share" button.
Well, what could one button send a "interesting" document to the tax... or competitors...

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №78195
 03.03.2013
xxx: Question to those who started working from 14-18. What was useful to you from your first job?
I personally brought out a drill, a box of candles and two anti-gases.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №78194
 03.03.2013
What about the movie "Metro"?
It’s like our movie disaster.
Every movie is a catastrophe.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №78193
 03.03.2013
> and >
An old Roman man is sitting on the doorstep, watching the barbarians burn his city, and says: "This country was destroyed by the Caesars, their mother."

Here is exactly. The empire is ruined by an elite who has drowned in privileges and forgotten about their responsibilities to manage the plebs.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №78192
 03.03.2013
Comments on Game Driving:
The Dignity:
Leather + steel + good plastic
Enjoy the driving of a virtual car.
The shortcomings:
-Batya said that the steering wheel once "pipka" does not work =(
And then he drove me out and played myself until night =(

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №78191
 03.03.2013
If you want peace in family life, prepare a wallet.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №78190
 03.03.2013
Shower in the morning. A piece of soap is new. and beautiful. A transparent emerald, with stars and spirals of microgalactic inside. This is the only thing: it doesn’t wash. Like a piece of plastic. I was confused, turned in my hands, and exchanged for the usual soap from the washing machine for washing. In the evening, the wife visited, said, soap so beautiful and expensive, badly bought, badly washed. I used this soap for a few days. The torture is one - until you hold in the stream of hot water, there is no hint of foam. It is a pity to throw. Then the adult son came to dinner. A small retreat: all the counters were installed in the apartment. The son immediately said: I will not save! Turn off the water while you brush your teeth. After a couple of remarks about the water leaking in the shower cabin, I was upset. And I found the word – scapegoat. I even swallowed. This is in Wikipedia: “to become accumulative and excessive sparingness, reaching scarcity.” Oh how! So here. He comes out of the bathroom, in his hand this smaragd soap. “Daddy, Mommy! You are yours! Economists!” and pulls a thin film out of the soap. The fucking! Wonder of packaging. Here's how to convince the son now that the parents are not in trouble, but blind eyes became?
The gardener.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №78189
 03.03.2013
The only truly honest and independent media in Russia is a video recorder!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №78188
 03.03.2013
From the hub, from the comments to the topic of the Cyrillic domain of Ukraine:

IllAIR 1 March 2013 at 16:40
And why not?

On the one hand: ukr very resembles a reduction not from Ukraine, but from steal and in this sense there is some funny game of words... On the other hand, it would be fun to have a couple of hundreds of domains of the kind: gaz.ukr, nafta.ukr, money.ukr

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna