How great it is to work in a large office - sent a request with the topic:
Please select the Cisco WS-C2960-24TT-L Switch

He came back to me:
FW: RE: RE: FW: FW: FW: Please select the Cisco WS-C2960-24TT-L Switch to OUT
Maxime, do you have such a switch?

The grandson:
What happens if the water gets into the laptop?

The Grandfather:
You will get the neck.

By the way, the question! Is it true that astronomy is no longer taught in school?
and yes.
very sorry.
They teach the basics of Orthodoxy.
Take the Middle Ages!

Looking through the catalog of mobile phones, I found this:
"Nokia 203 Asha Grey"
Surprisingly, it’s not a three-dimensional...

Hubble, comment on the article that Curiosity is starting to drill holes on Mars.

Wearymax: Sleeping underground Marsians, seeing their Martian dreams – as suddenly DRRR-r-r-rrrrrr!!! (Some sort of moud to the top from the morning perforator!) :D

A woman cannot be believed, especially when she is telling the truth.

Can you own yourself?

This introduction to his story of an uncomfortable (sometimes) family life was told by my fellow-in-law, who looked at us on the light.
Before that, I hit someone’s wife. The dishes, you can see, were expensive. And I made her this claim in his presence and expressed it, like – she is an unsightly transjira, and I am a slave in her galleries.

“You know,” began Tolik his story, “I was also a fool when I was young.
Once he "raided" on the first wife, with her unrestricted (in my opinion) spending, two went on...
There are wives who are stupid, and there are wives who are smart. The first was smart. I didn’t wait for the third attack, and I didn’t like to get scandals either.
As you say, dear, I will not even touch the money in the box. But what you buy, I’ll cook... and just try to eat at the restaurant and say that you’re full.
And if you eat without pleasure what I will prepare from the foods brought by you, and you will not lick enough and rub your stomach from happiness, you will be burned.
Oh yeah! yeah! The problem is solved, but...
You think, the princess! I have seen such!
I had no idea how much!! It stands!! All this shit in the form of products. And I had no idea that all that is suitable for preparation is just NOT for sale.
(The goods were in the tables. Not after the war or during the war. This was in the 1980s, when even the pasta was on the bills.
She was a "cocktail", so we always had a full cup at home. I didn’t know what was going on in the food stores.
In short, from the restaurant (at a fucking price) I brought the whole head of Dutch cheese, somewhere on kg 25, and proudly said (miner, jupp!) is :
Be prepared!!! to

Day 1st. My favorite pasta with cheese.
Day 2nd. My favorite pasta with cheese, but I was told that the butter and pasta oil for tomorrow is over.
The third day. My favorite pasta with cheese and without oil, but I was told that the pasta for tomorrow is over, or rather, it is now over, but the cheese is left.
The fourth day. and cheese. My wife offered to cook him. I refused. Stir with a black swallow. with tea. Without sugar is over.
The 5th day. and cheese. There is no bread (it turns out that there was a 50-60 person behind him and I was lazy to stand). The tea is also deficient.
In short, the cheese is like that.
The 6th day. and hungry.
In principle, I do not look at carefully cut cheese slices.
Eating is very hunting.
It is the 6th day (night). My stomach is shaking, I can’t sleep.
I thought, I thought a lot. Or I earn normally for life, and I do not touch this economic hell... And, having crossed through my incomprehensible and in this case at all inappropriate pride of the “extractor”... Or...
No, I loved my first wife very much, so I didn’t eat at night in cafes and restaurants, but honestly tried to fulfill the niches of the agreement in the dispute.
I have lost.

In the morning, I woke up my wife, apologized, broke up.
In the morning, he ate (not known from where the oatmeal was taken).
I was absolutely happy. And I realized that your wife’s money and your ability to earn it are different things.
By the way, remember that too.

The PS:
I remembered and made a conclusion.

I am so funny about the question, “Do you have a second half?”
Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya once said:
The second half is in the brain, buttocks and pills. In the beginning I am whole!

What if tomorrow is really fucking?
XXX: How are you going to survive?
YYY: if real - yes, like... I will run in the subway...
If the zombie apocalypse is me
YYY: If a meteorite is halfway down
YYY: If the bombing - I am half-picked
YYY: If it will flood, I'll be fucked
xxx: if bisexual orgia, fuck me pussy

The end of the world, however, came quite on time and in accordance with the predictions, but was missed due to the general clutter. by S. Lem

Corsar: Peter, morning, a pair of exhaust pipes, two blacks offer bordels...surrealism

The one who does not love people is a misanthrope. And who loves – who?
A... a mad man?

Q: Does anyone want to have a death note?
How is your name?
Tagged: Daniela
Tagged: recorded

Girls regularly ask to increase their breasts in photoshop... very, though, embarrassed ask. I usually reassure "Okay, boys also ask to increase". The girls in response say "bggg!"

So this is not "bigg", but the biceps.

I got somehow into the hospital with, sorry, hemorrhoids.A comrade came to visit me, and issued a deadly sentence-For what I respect you, it is because you are not a pederast. And looking at the stinging explained to me - there are no hemorrhoids in the pylori.As I remember, the rust immediately attacks.

I’ve grown like a monkey’s ass :(
I think you look good...
I’m going to cheat you, but you’ll look beautiful anyway!
I am serious, I like it.
Oh yeah, I said it!
Okay, go go, get rid of the shit.

Tag: take me away from here
xxx: father found in karaoke online
H is : ((

There is such a popular winter entertainment - pulling the heater.

DrNovikov: Generally speaking, this analogy came to mind:

A neighbor knocks at your door and says, “Let me go, I want to see your telecome, drink a beer and fall on the couch.”
You answer him, “I will not let you, you beat your wife.”
He said to you "Are you oh**l? Are you sovereign in my affairs? Let me go to you, Naah Yopta! Soon to go!"
You say to him, “I don’t want to let anyone who beat his wife come to me.”
He says to you, “Well, then I will also break the children, Naah, Yopta!”

I love my school.)

Fuck me, look at me. You don’t think that the guy is from Mahatma.
-Why do you have someone talking to you as soon as someone starts talking to you - necessarily from the mahatma? Maybe he is just sick!