bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №74627
 20.12.2012
Zombie: I'll be washing out of fire.
Look at things real. Where will you take it? I have a lump in my warehouse – that’s it!
HHH: Well of course! You are always so! Look at things real when we discuss the zombie apocalypse!

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74626
 20.12.2012
In the morning, I stood in the entrance, on the 9th floor, smoking. A man is 40 years old sitting in the elevator. From the 8th floor:
Oh there! Go on the eighth!
Take a taxi, not a taxi. The door closed, the elevator went.
Here is the case!
I am a goat? I’m right now on the eighth ride.
The elevator stops, the stairs top two pairs of legs :)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №74625
 20.12.2012
Yale replied to his sister to buy a long-burning barrel at the end of the world. I receive SMS:
"But I still had to take the barrel. So tomorrow there will be nothing, start kidding on me, and I’ll knock you on the head!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №74624
 20.12.2012
In a women’s consultation:
The stage of pregnancy?
of preparation :o)

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №74623
 20.12.2012
Symbolically, however, that the corporate will take place on December 21, I always assumed that the director wanted us all to die at work))

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74622
 20.12.2012
What will happen if an asteroid falls to Earth ~1km in diameter?
yyy> well, there will be an explosion
Q&A and Q&A?
UUU> will die those who will be nearby
Q&A and Q&A?
Ba> the rest will cover with a cloud of dust
Q&A and Q&A?
Q&A: The climate is changing
Q&A and Q&A?
The leafy trees will begin to die, but the needles will not be so critical and they will flood the planet.
Q&A and Q&A?
Hey> fucking, there will be a big crop of cones, the white with the broths will reproduce and capture the world!!! to

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74621
 20.12.2012
The British are not distant people. An Englishman at my job uses a neighbor’s unlocked Wi-Fi network to download a pirate torrent. To the question "Why?" he honestly replied: If anything, then the police will not come to me, but to him home.)))

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №74620
 20.12.2012
Ricco^: Through a dream, I hear a son (3 years old) beating his husband and saying - Pope, consecrate, consecrate!
Husband through a dream: My son, I consecrate you, I consecrate you.
And then the son answers, “Yes, daddy, blin, give me a phone, I went to the pot.

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74619
 20.12.2012
The newspaper "Izvestija", yesterday, the article "Post of Russia accused foreign colleagues of slow work".

[ + 23 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74618
 20.12.2012
Inscription in the toilet:
How many pisses do not shake, a couple of drops in shorts.

We would already set up the production of men's cotton caps, with holes and wings.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №74617
 20.12.2012
XX: Glad to see you today.
YYY: I noticed it was glowing. By the way, I was happy too :)
XXX: Even my hands grabbed me
YYY: Cho was near, so he caught it.
I have a shirt underneath :(
XXX: The Fool

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74616
 20.12.2012
In the runnet live discuss the "adequate answer" of the State. Duma on Magnitsky's list - a law prohibiting the adoption of Russian children by Americans. If you think about it, it’s shit! You, shit, don’t let our corrupt men play at Disneyland, so fuck you, not our orphans and disabled children! Thirsty Dolls! Americans should be banned from buying Russian oil. This is adult. and ;)

[ + 7 - ] Comment quote №74615
 20.12.2012
Today I will eat my wife and fuck dinner. I tried the opposite, but it didn’t work.)

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №74614
 20.12.2012
This is all Portlandcement’s fault!!! to

XXX is Volandemort! This is an autopilot!!! 😉

[ + 39 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74613
 20.12.2012
Tanks are evil. Yesterday, I have sex with a girl, and in the process, my leg is broken in the bed. The first thought-"The hose is broken. Movement is impossible"

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №74612
 20.12.2012
Once I parked at the store.

Incassiers come in, one goes out with a carabine, followed by another two with bags and go to the warehouse.
Returning back, two people with their bags begin to go into the car, and the man with the carabine turned his back to them and this covers them in the manner of commando (carabine overweight).
While he was riding, they left and forgot about him.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №74611
 20.12.2012
Impressions from the first flight on a plane
I was flying on a plane for the first time even before I remember myself as a baby.
So probably my reaction to my first flight was to grieve, cry and fall asleep.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №74610
 20.12.2012
The lessons at school were very helpful. Every boy understood - you will learn badly, you will become a worker.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №74609
 20.12.2012
Sumatrix: What a wonderful morning today...
Savitri: tell me
sumatrix: prehistory: how do you know I hide from the cat phone, or he likes to play with him when he vibrates, to go into dusty corners where he is discharged and it is impossible to find him without dancing with the drum
Sumatrix: And here I pick up the alarm clock and put it on the closet above me. I need to get up to turn it off.
and savitri :)
sumatrix: and here today I woke up from the fact that first sounded the alarm clock, and then a scratch, a whirlwind, something soft fell on me, then it ran over me, and something big and hard fell in its place, there was a lot of noise and strange sounds around.
Savitri :D is it?
Sumatrix: It was then that I realized that the cat still caught a mobile phone on the closet from the jump, but did not hold back and pulled a box with a barrel, naturally right on me.
Sumatrix: And at that moment I decided that the apocalypse had already happened prematurely, and I lay down thinking what to do next.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №74608
 20.12.2012
“I come home and say goodbye, ‘Four tankers and a dog.’
Is the movie going or is the wife cheating?

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